What I Can't Suffer

Not long ago, one of my best friends asked me how it felt to make a decision, to stand up and take control of my life and move forward. I told him it felt great, and he told me that was awesome, and not to ever let him hear of it being any other way ever again. This would be much funnier if you knew my friend, and frankly, had it been anyone else but him, I would have had the urge to smack them one, lol.

There have been times where I have known what the answer is, where I have seen clearly what has to be done in the situation at hand, and yet it did not happen. Although I had come to a concrete conclusion and charted the necessary course of action, I either put it off or didn't do it at all, usually with poor results. The money question then is...why?

As much as it shames me to admit it, the answer was that I was not man enough to stand up and do the right thing by myself and others, thereby displaying a reprehensible brand of cowardice. Because I was scared, I simply would not follow through with the actions required of my decisions, and the consequences that flowed naturally therefrom. As my friend so astutely pointed out, that is unacceptable, and the alternative is actually far better. Accordingly, I don't operate from a place of fear any longer, and it feels great.

Having learned that lesson myself, I have some sympathy when I see others struggling with the same thing, but my sympathy is not unlimited. I know the world would be a much better place in so many ways if people would stand up in the courage of their convictions, and let the chips fall where they may. The reason I didn't do that in the past was because I was afraid of uncertainty, or because I was absolutely certain of what would happen and didn't like the result it produced. On a more general scale, I think it was because I preferred the devil I knew to the ones I didn't, and that's no way to live.

I can't suffer for very long anyone who fails to do what is right for them, what they know they must, simply because it is unpleasant or uncertain. The moral of this story: trust your judgment and instincts, stand firm in your decisions and proceed boldly in the actions that must flow from them, and even if you stumble a bit along the way, you will always land on your feet in the end.