Passage of Time Versus Physical Distance

My mind functions similarly to that of a tinkerer or engineer, except without stuff strewn about the garage, lol. I think about many things, rather a lot actually, and some of those thoughts are more concise, clear, and coherent than others. When I come to a conclusion that makes good sense to me, one that I can put to good use, one I want to stick with, I sometimes post it on here. I do this not only for myself, but also in the event that someone else might read it and take some comfort or learn something from it as well. I enjoy figuring things out if I can, and heping others in the process is a good bonus. I am not a sad, depressed, or overly negative person, just a realistic thinker with a full and active mind. With that disclaimer now out of the way, onward and upward we go into insomnia land!

I think that moving on from a relationship, the physical distance of a person walking away and staying there and the passage of time each present a unique set of difficulties in moving on and forward.

I believe the physical distance carries with it the most immediate and acute pain, especially on the day of the actual breakup. Watching that person walking away, the physical distance growing between you until they are eventually out of sight, and wishing more than anything at that moment that it wouldn't unfold that way is one of the hardest and most emotional things anyone can experience. I think this goes double when the relationship itself was long distance, because there is the double whammy of the person walking away from your presence and the leaving your geographic area on top of that, likely never to return. It is most immediate because up until that moment(s) in time, that person was with you and you loved them, and watching them walk away is the opening act of a painful play of second guessing, heartbreak, and eventual healing, only with no idea as to when the healing will ever arrive...and as badly as you hurt in that moment, you don't really know the healing will ever come.

The passage of time going away from the end of a relationship is different because it is more grinding and constant, if slightly less of an acute pain, than is the physical distance. Every day moving forward without a phone call or voicemail, every log in to check your e-mail, every time you hear a song that takes you back (especially for popular songs with high airplay rotation) is yet another reminder that the person you once loved is gone for good. It gets even better when you do hear from them and they tell you they have found the love of their life only after they parted ways with you. I should know...this has happened to me, twice, lol.

The passage of time is at once relentless and merciless, but there is a silver lining. Ironically enough, that silver lining simultaneously exists in the passage of time...call it another immutable law. In spite of and because of everything you go through trying to heal, the thinking, the prayers, even the tears, over time, you manage to work through it. Each day that passes and the pain is a little less, and a little less, and a little less, until one day you wake up and it's OK. Even if you don't necessarily know why or how, it's just OK, because you don't hurt anymore and you're now able to take away the good lessons you have learned and remember the good times had, while leaving everything else behind.

This takes work, but the reward, being in sufficiently good emotional shape to recognize, go after, and win the love of your live when he/she comes along...as MasterCard says, "Priceless."