Ann Coulter's Rapier Wit Strikes Sen. Lincoln Chafee

This is good stuff and the political junkies in the audience should get a chuckle. Ann Coulter lays the smack down to Sen. Lincoln Chafee (RINO-RI) in style...good times indeed.

"The only reason Chafee calls himself a Republican is that he believes that everyone above a certain income level is required by law to do so. He learned this from reading "Doonesbury" and watching "The West Wing" while studiously ignoring blindingly obvious facts like: Sens. Teddy Kennedy (inherited millions), John Kerry (married millions -- twice, lucky guy), Sen. Herbert H. Kohl (inherited millions), John D. Rockefeller (inherited millions), Mark Dayton (inherited millions), Dianne Feinstein (married millions) and aspiring senator Ned the Red (inherited millions). All Democrats."

"Republicans are always told we're supposed to vote for Fidel Dumbo if he has an "R" after his name... True, Rhode Island is an overwhelmingly Democratic state, and the chances of any Republican winning the general election are slim. But that's no reason for the Republican Party to debase itself by running someone dysfunctional and illiterate enough to appeal to Democrats."

A Raise and a Promotion

We have had some turnover in the office in which I work, leaving two attorney vacancies which have just been filled. Before I get to that though, what happened at our annual bar association picnic was pretty cool...my boss told the judge in my court I would be leaving and moving up, and he said, "I understand you've got to do what's best for your office, but Chris has done a great job here and we hate to see him go. We will miss him." Positive feedback from peers and superiors is always a good thing. The judge later told my boss and the attorney who would be replacing me that I am the best Public Defender that court has ever had...good times indeed. :)

Since the policy of the boss and the office is promotion from within (exceptions to this have been very rare), my replacement (Caroline) will take over for me in about a week or two once I move up. She is smart, attentive, and well-qualified, and appears to be a fun and good person to boot...I think she will do a fine job.

Starting September 1, I will be moved into an official State of Tennessee position (my current job, while technically a State of Tennessee position, is funded by the city), which will mean a slight raise above the one I received in July. In addition, I will be responsible for an entire county worth of courts (1 General Sessions/misdemeanor court and 3 divisions of Circuit/felony Court) for at least the next two months. It's a lot of responsibility, but I will get some jury trial experience at the next trial term, and that will be great for my experience and resume. Also, before I try my own jury trials as a first chair, I will get some second chair and observational trial experience to help prepare me further.

My priority, of course, is still the JAG officer position with the Navy for which I have applied. Ideally, I would get a commission this time (sometime around Labor Day) and be in officer school by the end of the year. That said, if I don't get offered a commission this time and have to reapply for the Spring '07 selection board, it would be sometime next year before I would go to officer school. At least this way, I will have some jury trial experience in my pocket going forward, JAG or otherwise. Even though I am not planning to make a career out of criminal defense work and sometimes my clients drive me nuts, I am pleasantly surprised and happy with the office environment I work in and with my colleagues in the local legal community. Things are going well for me now professionally and look even brighter down the road, so I have no complaints. :)

The Final Inspection...Godspeed Lt. Childers (USMC)

From the Fallen Heroes Memorial website, dedicated to fallen soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, comes a beautiful poem by a fellow service member about Lt. Shane Childers, USMC, the first soldier to die in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Thank you and all your brethren in arms lieutenant, you have earned your rest and eternal reward. I am sure this very closely mirrors what goes on when a soldier goes to meet his maker...just read it.

THE FINAL INSPECTION
by: Sgt. Ross of Mississippi (branch of service unknown --Ed.)

"The soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand."

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

Even a Puff Piece Can't Make Ray "Schoolbus" Nagin Look Good

One year post-Katrina, Ray Nagin, mayor of New Orleans, remains the utterly incompetent hack that he was when he was elected. In this Newsweek story, which is the journalistic equivalent of an attempted sloppy wet kiss, even the media bias in his favor exposes him for the useless politician he is. And because the idiots of New Orleans re-elected this fool after seeing his breathtaking incompetence on full display during Katrina and the aftermath, while no area deserves Katrina, my sympathy for those who sent Nagin back to office is non-existent. For a brief recap, let's recall the following:

1.) Political tone deafness to rival the Bush Administration (i.e., saying New Orleans is a "chocolate city" and "Let's be fair, after 5 years, New York still has a big hole in the ground."). And from the article, "About a month after Katrina, the city's movers and shakers met at a local restaurant, still serving on paper plates, to talk about New Orleans's future. "The mayor was there for three hours, table-hopping," recalls Douglas Ahlers, a local entrepreneur who became involved in city planning. "But instead of going around saying, 'What do you need? What are you going to do? How can we help?' it was as if it was just a regular Friday lunch in old New Orleans. I realized he wasn't working the issues, just glad-handing."

2.) Over a year later, the Ninth Ward, home of most of the idiots that re-elected him because he is black, still has no certifiable drinking water and lacks many basic services that it is actually the government's job to provide. By contrast, stores were already re-opening and businesses wanted to come to or back to New York within a week after 9/11 because of Giuliani's leadership and ability to get things done.

3.) You know it's bad when the aforementioned idiots, all of whom are as left-wing, Deomcrat/socialist, and government-dependent as anyone in America, are mad at you. This goes double when the complainers are ACORN...you may remember them as the left-wing outfit who had members that went to jail for attempting to buy votes in East St. Louis with crack cocaine and cigarettes during the 2004 election, and black pastors who are the local equivalent of Jesse Jackson...when those folks have turned on a black Democrat, it takes skill to be that useless and bad. Usually, the venom from these folks is reserved for all things and people who advocate personal responsibility, so when they take the time to attack one of their own, it must be bad.

I haven't even mentioned the buses that could've been used to get people out of the city but which were left in a parking lot and were submerged underwater, Nagin's failure to use or pursue any of the $100 billion appropriated by the feds for Katrina recovery already, or his race with Gov. Blanco for daft Louisiana politician of the new millenium. I'll just leave you with this little gem, but do read the whole thing:

"The people involved with Nagin's latest plan to rebuild New Orleans, his "100 Days Initiative," won't describe the organization's structure, not because they're required to keep it confidential, but because, they say, the structure exists mainly in Nagin's head." (sounds like John Kerry's imaginary Christmas in Cambodia --Ed.)

Good for Judicial Watch and Shame on California

Many cities nationwide, including Los Angeles, have adopted "sanctuary" policies which prohibit local police from asking about the immigration status of people who are arrested. This is a gaping hole in our "enforcement" efforts, if there is such a thing, because those who are here illegally have no reason to stop coming or to leave so long as they know the police will do nothing to them for breaking the law. Judicial Watch recently sued the LAPD over this practice, and the case has survived a motion to dismiss and is being allowed to proceed to discovery. While the relative lack of hard statistics may be a reality (if no one is asked if they're here legally, how do you keep count?), I believe it will be an ugly black eye for the LAPD (and for other cities who do this and are exposed) for the results of sanctuary policies to come to the light. Frankly, and city who declares itself above the law in this way should receive not a dime of state or federal money as long as a sanctuary policy is the law of the city. Judicial Watch tells a little more about the case here, and it displays some court documents for any legal eagles out there. I am certainly cheering on and praying for Judicial Watch in this proceeding, and hopefully it will set a positive immigration enforcement precedent going forward.

Democracy, Immigration, Multiculturalism...Pick Any Two

From the New Sisyphus blog comes a transcript of a recent Mark Steyn speech from Australia. Mark Steyn is a great writer and columnist who I believe to be far ahead of the thought curve seeing what grave threats multiculturalism and unfettered immigration (legal or illegal) pose to democracies worldwide. All cultures are NOT created equal, especially not ones who advocate the extermination of all those who don't agree with their views and who subjugate and abuse women in the mostly ghastly of ways. This speech is chocked so full of great stuff I read it several times and reposted it all here. Any bold, ellipses, or other emphasis on certain statements belongs to me, read it all.

"It's Not 'Them', It's Us: The Need to Regain Confidence in Western Culture"

"I'm honoured to be here on what's beginning to feel a bit like my End of The World Tour. Everywhere I go I just talk about depressing issues like the decline and death of the West, but my End of the World Tour is a bit like Barbara Streisand's Farewell Tour: if the world doesn't end I'll be back to do another End of the World Tour in a couple of years. ... I don't want to make an argument for more war, more bombing, more killing but for more will, more civilisational confidence that's the best way to avoid all the death and destruction.

Here's what I mean, here's the quote I get requests for. It's about a relatively minor imperial administrator. Two hundred years ago, in a more culturally confident age, the British in India were faced with the practice of Sati-that's the tradition of burning widows on the funeral pyres of their husband. General Sir Charles Napier was impeccably multicultural. He said: 'You say that it's your custom to burn widows, very well. We also have a custom. When men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their neck and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it my carpenters will build a gallows; you may follow your custom, then we will follow ours.' As it happens, my wife's uncle was named after General Napier which I guess makes me a British Imperialist by marriage. But India today is better off without Sati. And what's so strange about the times we live in is that even to say that is to invite accusations of cultural supremacy. If you don't agree that India is better off without Sati, if you think that's just dead white-male-euro-centricism, fine, but I don't think you really do believe that. Non-judgmental multiculturalism, cultural relativism, is an obvious fraud and I think it's subliminally accepted on that basis. I think that, after all, most people, given the choice, don't want to live in anything but an advanced Western society. They think that pretending that all societies are equal is in a sense part of the wallpaper of living in an advanced Western society. And they think you can contain multiculturalism, they think multiculturalism means your kid has to learn some wretched tribal dirge for the school holiday concert instead of getting them to sing jingle bells...or that your holistic masseur uses techniques developed from Native American spirituality. But it doesn't mean that you or anyone that you care about should have to live in an African or Native American society.

I checked into my hotel yesterday and I'd been in the room 10 minutes when I got a call from the Spa asking if I wanted to have a new kind of massage they were offering a special on using techniques I think developed from Buddhist spirituality. I'm very grateful for that, I think its marvelous and that it adds a lot to the gaiety of life, but it's a quintessential piece of progressive humbug if it goes beyond that. And if you think Sati is just an example of the rich vibrant tapestry of indigenous cultures, you ought to consider what your present suburb would be like if 25, 30 or 48 the people around you really believed in it too. That's the situation that much of the Western world is facing; that we're losing the consensus within our populations on what it means to be a citizen of a pluralist society. Multiculturalism, I believe, was conceived by Western elites not to celebrate all cultures, but to deny their own and in that sense it's the real suicide bomb. Islam and terrorism would not be a threat to the Western world if the Western world weren't so enervated that it gives the impression that it's basically just dying to keel over and to surrender to somebody.

Sati's gone, nobody in India burns widows, so when Indians immigrate to Sydney, or London or Toronto, they're not building pyres in the front yard for grandma anymore. But there are other cultures where women lack basic rights. Under the Taliban, Afghan women were prevented by law from ever feeling sunlight on their faces; by law. As Ahmed Al-bakar (spelling unclear), an MP from the one of the more progressive Muslim nations, Kuwait, recently put it, mixing the proposal to give women the right to vote, 'God said in the Holy Koran that men are better than women...why can't we settle for that?' Why indeed? Well here's a story from the Associate Press in Multan, Pakistan. Nazeer Ahmed appears calm and unrepentant as he recounts how he slit the throats of his three young daughters and their 25 year-old step-sister to salvage his family's honour. Well, you know, I suppose to a lot of us, Pakistan's a crazy place a long way away. But the honour killings, the murder of Muslim women, punished often for no other reason than that they happened to have been raped by some fella, the honour killings are getting closer. In London last summer, the Metropolitan police announced they were reopening investigations into 120 deaths among British Muslim girls that they'd hitherto declined to look at too closely on grounds of cultural sensitivity. Now think about that. Think about that. One hundred and twenty women are murdered and their murders go uninvestigated because the cops thought it was just some multicultural thing. I believe you had a similar issue here when one of your state police departments announced that it was changing the basis on how spousal abuse and battery of women was investigated according to what cultural community you happened to belong to. So in other words, in parts of Australia, law enforcement takes the view that whether you're allowed to beat up a woman depends on who you are. If I try it, I'll be going to jail; but if other people try it, it's part of their rich cultural tradition. You cannot have a society organised on that basis. I don't want to live in a country where honour killing is regarded as part of the rich tapestry of cultural diversity, like a slightly livelier version of a national dance at the Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony. So those are the sorts of things you can make judgements about competing culture, judgments on liberty, on religious freedom, the rule of law, we need to recover the cultural cool that General Napier demonstrated. That's really the word: cool. You don't have to go through a whole lot of excitable talk about nuking Mecca and all this kind of thing; that's all a waste of time. If we knew who we were, we wouldn't have a lot of the problems that we seem to be having and rousing ourselves to defend our society. If we know who we are, if we're secure in our sense of where our society came from, we'll be fine.

Let me give a small example of the wrong way of looking at things. It's not life threatening, but if you don't understand the philosophy that underpins it, it can become life threatening. In your nation and in mine, many people have acknowledged, and indeed even boasted, that immigration changes our country. For example, in Australia, and to a lesser extent in Canada, there are a lot of people who wish to replace the monarchy with a republic and there are respectable arguments for and against the monarchy.

The dangerous argument is the lazy line pedalled by too many politicians that in an Australia or a Canada of evolving immigration patterns, an immigrant from Moldova or China or Brazil or Saudi Arabia can't be expected to relate to the Queen, to the existing constitutional system. Now try this line the next time you're in Saudi Arabia: if you immigrate to Saudi Arabia and say 'hey man, I just can't relate to the House of Saud, and what's with this Wahhabism, can't we get a couple of sports bars with wet t-shirt nights every Thursday'? The Saudis would have a grand old laugh about it and then behead you. So when we accept that argument, in essence we're explicitly promoting the principle of reverse assimilation; that immigration imposes not the obligation that the immigrant assimilate to his new land, but that his new land assimilate to him. And thereby lies great peril, not for the Queen, she'll get by, but for a whole bunch of the rest of us. Multiculturalism makes a nation no more than a holding pen, its whole merely the sum of its parts...and so in the absence of cultural confidence, demography will decide. In the superb summation of the American writer James C. Bennett, 'democracy, immigration, multiculturalism ... pick any two'.

At the heart of multiculturalism is a lie: that all cultures are equally valid. To accept that proposition means denying reality; the reality of any objective measure of human freedom, societal health, global population movement. Multiculturalism isn't the first ideology founded on the denial of truth. You recall Herman Goering's memorable assertion that 'two plus two makes five, if the Fuhrer wills it'. Likewise, we're asked to accept that the United States' Constitution was modelled on the principles of the Iroquois Confederation. If a generation of multi-culti theorists in American universities, if the ethnic grievance lobby, and even if a ludicrous resolution of the United States Congress so wills it, that's what happened. The United States Congress passed a resolution hailing the Iroquois Confederation as the inspiration for the U.S. Constitution, which would have been news to the dead white euro-centric males who wrote it. Harmless, harmless isn't it?! What's wrong with playing make-believe if it helps us all feel warm and fuzzy about each other?

Because it's never helpful to put reality up for grabs; there may come a day where you need it, and today is the day that we do need a shot of reality. We need to understand what it is that is important and vital and rare about our society, because if we don't, then in a thousand, silly, itsy-bitsy, little ways, like removing pork from Australian hospital cafeteria menus, we're giving the very clear message that we lack the will to defend our civilisation. In 1773, one of America's founding fathers Simeon Howard, addressed the ancient and honourable artillery company in Boston, and 'an incautious people' he said, 'may submit to these demands, one after another, till its liberty is irrecoverably gone, before they saw the danger. Injuries, small in themselves, may in their consequences be fatal to those who submit to them, especially if they're persisted in.'

During the Danish cartoon Jihad, you may recall, over the representations of the prophet Mohammed earlier this year, the New York Times gave one of its routinely pompous explanations as to why it wouldn't be showing readers these offensive cartoons: sensitive news organisations, the editors explained, have the duty to 'refrain from gratuitous assaults on religious symbol symbols'. The very next day, the Times illustrated the story on the Danish controversy with an illustration of the Virgin Mary covered in elephant dung ... a piece of New York art from a couple of seasons earlier. They had no problem with gratuitous assaults on religious symbols when it came to a dung-covered Virgin Mary or the Piss-Christ, the crucifix immersed in the artist's urine that was the sensation of the New York art world a couple of seasons back. He was the biggest artist in America for a while, a guy called Andre Serrano. I don't know what he's doing now, haven't heard from him a couple of years, I don't know what he's doing ... maybe he got cystitis or something ... anyway, his career dried up.

A friend of mine did a satirical play in England a couple of years ago, he's an old leftie, very anti-Iraq war, so in his show he had Bush and Blair come out and sing 'we're sending you a cluster bomb from Jesus' ... ha-ha, very funny. Well how about if you have a couple of Imams dancing around singing 'we're sending you a schoolgirl bomb from Allah'? Well oddly enough, my pal was far more reluctant to do that, on the reasonable grounds that unlike insulting Christianity, if you insult certain other faiths, a far more motivated crowd is likely to be waiting for you at the stage door. Multiculturalism seems to operate to the same even-handedness as the old Cold War joke, in which the American tells the Soviet that 'in my country, everyone is free to criticise the President' and the Soviet guy replies 'same here! In my country everyone is free to criticise your President'. Under the rules, as understood by the New York Times, the West is free to mock and belittle its Judeo-Christian inheritance, and likewise, the Muslim world is free to mock and belittle the West's Judeo-Christian inheritance. If one had to choose, on balance, Islam's loathing of other cultures seems psychologically less damaging than the Western elite's loathing of their own. Now I have a great sympathy for Muslims that face demands that they assimilate; it's on the front pages of all the newspapers in London this weekend. Even if you wanted to, even if you wanted to, how would you assimilate with say, Canadian national identity? You can't assimilate with a nullity, which is what the modern multicultural state boils down to. It's much easier to dismantle a society than put anything new and lasting in it place, and across much of the developed world, that's what's going on right now.

The advantage for the U.S. and for Australia, and to a lesser extent other parts of the English-speaking world, is that Europe, in its civilisational exhaustion, is ahead in the line, and its fate might wake up even the most blinkered on this side of the continent. It comes down to this: we are the issue. It's about us. We don't understand that the world we've lived in since 1945 is very precious, very unusual, and very rare and is at odds with most of human history, and if we want our world to continue, if we want our children to grow up in the kind of society we've lived in this last half-century, then we have to understand the blessings we enjoy are not an accident. If we don't value it, we won't have it."

Lina Joy, the Female Version of Abdul Rahman

Via the Religioscope, we hear of the case of Lina Joy, a Malaysian woman who was a Muslim but became a baptized Catholic, and now she wants to marry a Christian man. No big deal anywhere in the civilized world, but God help you if you live a country dominated by Islamic law. This woman (and the advocates and lawyers who are helping her) now face death threats from the supposedly "moderate" citizens of Malaysia. Worse yet, she is now being persecuted and prosecuted by the authorities in Islamic Shariah courts for the crime of apostasy, which almost all Islamic scholars and the Koran say is punishable by death ("re-education" is also a possible sentence).

First Abdul Rahman in Afghanistan, now this woman. How many others must there be before people wake up and see Islam for what it really is? The time is growing short for "moderate" Muslims to rein in their fanatics (if they can), but my fear is that, much like the Democratic Party of today, the inmates are now running the asylum because most Muslims don't seem to be speaking out on this since the don't see anything wrong with it. You'll never hear of a Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, or any other religion I can think of threaten someone with death or worse for leaving/converting. This sounds more like the action of a criminal gang than a religion of "peace".

I think Michelle Malkin says it very well..."It's a Religion of Peace for those who submit, and a Religion of Pieces for those who even dare think of leaving." Read it all, but I don't like this woman's chances of living for very long much at all.

Now For a Comedic Break From Bill Simmons

OK, so it's the little things in life that make me happy. A little while back I posted a column from ESPN.com writer Bill Simmons re: Vegas and some of the rules for a trip there. Since I figured my few readers (and me) could stand a break from the doom and gloom of the news of the day, enter Mr. Simmons. Every so often he makes an entire mailbag column out of comments and questions from his readers and his responses to them. Some of it is admittedly corny but a lot of it is laugh out loud hilarious, so here are the highlights from his most recent mailbag column. Pay special attention to the part about Britney and K-Fed, that one just slays me no matter how many times I read it. I also think a comparison of Britney Spears to Dwight Gooden (great start, bigger hype, ultimately undone by his own demons and poor decisionmaking) would work. Anyway, enjoy!

Here is the thing about breasts -- they don't regenerate like starfish arms. They grow back like rotator cuffs -- usable, but without the same suppleness, and not built for the same amount of speed. Except that now they will hold pencils. (This was part of a ridiculously funny and on-point comment from a reader re: Lindsay Lohan and the disappearing act pulled by the artists formerly known as her breasts due to an eating disorder, a raging party streak, and possibly being strung out on dru-, er I mean, from the "exhaustion" of her "busy schedule"...good times. --Ed.)

Q: Dear Abby, I mean Bill. ... A group of guys heading to Vegas for a Bachelor party. Last minute one of the friends asks if he can bring a friend along. No one really knows this new guy. What is proper bachelor party rules? Can we get an official ruling?
--CFA, Memphis, Tenn.

SG: Well, there are two schools of thought here. Some use the "more the merrier" logic, which I've never understood because bigger numbers make it tougher for everyone to meet at the same time, tougher to get around, tougher to get dinner reservations and tougher to get into, um, clubs.

Also, you're increasing the chances that one of the following people will be involved: The guy who doesn't play blackjack but stands behind everyone else touching their chairs and giving a running commentary; the guy who shows up with $125 for the entire weekend; the guy who got married too soon and turns into a "Very Bad Things" character as the weekend goes along; the guy who gets everyone kicked out of the strip joint; the guy who orders the surf and turf or the Kobe beef for dinner, then expects everyone to chip in equally; the guy who doesn't want to gamble and just wants to go clubbing; the guy who's dressed too casually and ends up keeping everyone from getting in somewhere; the guy who throws up in the limo; the two alpha dogs who end up nearly coming to blows because they're both hammered at 4 a.m.; the guy who refuses to pay for lap dances but sits right next to everyone else who's getting them; and so on.

Personally, I like smaller groups of friends who know each other. Vegas is like an NBA rotation -- sure, you can play all 12 guys in one quarter like Doc Rivers does, but the teams that win championships always have an eight or nine-man rotation. Why do anything differently?

Q: What do you think your daughter's nickname is going to be on the 2023 edition of "Flavor of Love?"
--Matt D., New York

SG: Orphan.

Q: Short of smashing your cell phone, disconnecting the computer, locking yourself in a monastery, and swallowing the key, is there any possible way to avoid having an apocalyptic-level fight with your woman the day before you take a vacation together? I feel like I'm some poor slob standing in the Wrestlemania ring when the Undertaker's music hits, and I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm sure there's going to be screaming, a headache, and a sweaty body lying victoriously over mine.
--Jared, Murphysboro, Ill.

SG: There's no way. It's impossible. It's never happened. It's the sibling to the Separation Fight, when they pick the fight right as you're about drive to the airport for the weekend so they can leave some sort of psychological mark on you, almost like a dog peeing on a tree. But here's what you COULD do: Pretend you have a stomach virus the night before, plant a new book in the bathroom, then spend the night going in and out of there and playing up how sick you are. Not only will she feel bad, the maternal instinct will kick in and she'll make you chicken soup and stuff. Plus, you can finish a book. Really no downside here.

Q: I would like to officially nominate the Adam Kennedy/Scott Feldman slapfest as the sissiest sports fight ever. It looked like Kennedy was trying to scratch Feldman's eyes out rather than punch him, and his helmet actually falls in front of his face as he is unleashing his estrogen rage. Meanwhile, Feldman throws a left chicken wing somewhere into his ribs. I couldn't tell whether there was bad blood between the two teams or Kennedy was upset because Feldman used his pink razor in the shower.
--Ian, Windsor Locks, Conn.

SG: Good e-mail. I loved how Feldman waited until there was two outs in the ninth to throw at Kennedy (only the smallest guy on the Angels). He should have been suspended an extra 10 games just for being a wuss.

Q: Back in your single days, would you have hooked up with big time female athlete (given the opportunity) just for the story? For example, you see Diani Taurasi at Foxwoods after a Mercury game in which she just dropped a WNBA-record 47, do you go for it to tell your boys "guess who hooked up with the single-game scoring record holder?" If not you, do you have a guy in your crew who would?
--Alex, Orlando, Fla.

SG: (Fighting off 200,000 bolts of current from the ESPN editors.)

Q: After watching the train wreck of a performance from K-Fed at the Teen Choice Awards, I started to think ... is Britney Spears the Mike Tyson of the pop world? Think about it, she got on top of her game at a really young age, blew by the competition and seemed to have peaked at around 21. Then, she breaks up with Timberlake (which could be Cus D'Amato dying). Then finds K-Fed (who is a mix of Don King, the rape charge, and Buster Douglas all in one). So what's next for my former dream girl?
--Dan Soder, Tucson, Ariz.

SG: I just enjoyed that you described K-Fed as "a mix of Don King, the rape charge, and Buster Douglas all in one." Sums him up perfectly. But in the spirit of your analogy, I think WrestleMania is next for her. It's the logical next step. After she pumps out the next kid, K-Fed leaves her for her sister, her next album bombs and she files for bankruptcy for the first time, I could totally see her becoming Triple H's manager for a few weeks and hitting John Cena over the head with her purse at WrestleMania XXVI. Just feels right.

Churches Should Get No Slack For Helping Illegal Immigrants Violate U.S. Law

Columnist Paul Weyrich writes today re: the case of an "undocumented" woman (once deported already) currently holed up in a Chicago church who is "daring" the authorities to come in and get her. The authorities should take her up on that invitation to make absolutely clear that just because a lawbreaker hides in a church that they are still subject to prosecution. If this woman was a murdered and not a member of an ethically and PC protected class of aggrieved individuals with the sympathy of far too many otherwise sane people (and the drive-by mainstream media, who have long since taken leave of their senses), she would be forcibly removed from the church, handcuffed, and taken directly to jail and then to court, which is what should happen. This is example 4,812 of how political correctness handcuffs authorities from enforcing legitimate laws passed by elected representatives, and it should not stand. Unfortunately, this woman will probably get away with it and be given citizenship, all in the interests of the chiiiiiiiiildren, when in point of fact, no matter what the current state of the law SAYS, a child (like her son) of two illegal immigrants/non-U.S. citizens does NOT a citizen make. Check out the excerpts and the whole thing.

"What got to me is that Ms. Arellano, who is about to be deported again, has holed herself up at the Aldaberto United Methodist Church. She has the support of the Pastor, the Reverend Walter Coleman, and many in the church. They have vowed to feed and clothe her and her son in perpetuity if necessary to avoid her deportation. "She is the voice of the undocumented," one of the parishioners said. Really? Since when are the undocumented entitled to a spokesman?

If the church is so concerned about Ms. Arellano it should set her and her son up in Mexico with a monthly allowance so that she would not need to work. She could be a stay-at-home mom. They could, in effect, adopt her. A church that large can no doubt take up a second collection and raise sufficient money to support that little family. If the collection would not do it then the Church could dip into regular funds or sponsor events with all of the proceeds going to that family. ...

The Pastor claims that he is only following the ancient Christian tradition of sheltering those who require it. There is quite a difference between sheltering a Christian from the evil Roman Emperor Diocletian and some one who has broken legitimate laws, passed by legitimate legislatures which represent the rule of the people. I well can understand the reluctance of the authorities to invade a church. The images worldwide would be frightful. On the other hand, maybe by doing so authorities would be taken more seriously on the immigration front.

That this woman, who has no right here, would defy our law as she has and then claim to speak for the undocumented is what has made me furious. We do not have a government tough enough to deal with these people. How many times have I heard, "You can't send them all back." Even the Pence--Hutchison Immigration Bill envisions securing the border before anything else is done. Under the terms of that bill no one who openly is breaking the law could continue to remain here. I have had it with these people. They get more arrogant by the hour. They also are an insult to the thousands of Hispanics who are here legally and who are given a bad name because of what illegal aliens do."

Lessons One Year Post-Katrina That Have Actual Use

The one year anniversary of Katrina is coming up early next week, and there will undoubtedly be all kinds of stories out there slamming various levels of government (with varying degrees of deservedness depending on who the slam is addressed to), much screaming of "Why?!" in a fashion that would do Nancy Kerrigan proud, and performing many other types of self-flagellation and guilt tripping that I can't think of right now. What got to me more than anything though was how many people were utterly dependent on the gummint to take care of them, to ensure their survival. It's as if when the checks disappear and the basic life to which they have become accustomed utterly breaks down, even temporarily, they are lost beyond measure, paralyzed beyond belief, and more helpless than your average mammalian child (hence the Pets & Animals classification). It should not be this way, folks have got to learn some basic survival skills in order to take care of themselves and their loved ones until order is restored, and here's some good advice from the LawDog blog on that point:

"1.) The only people responsible for the safety of you and yours -- is you. Nobody, not the local government, county government, state government, federal government or the United Nations, nobody owes you survival.

Take it upon yourself to be ready. If you can't protect you and yours for a week, then start figuring out how you're going to do it. Mother Nature is a bitch. Accept it. Not only that, but she is shacked up with Old Man Murphy, and they both hate your guts. Personally.

Once you understand this simple concept, take an honest look about you. Do you live in Tornado Alley? If so, sooner or later there is going to be a tornado addressed to you. Accept this, and plan for it. Do you live on a fault line? Sooner or late there is going to be an earthquake. Accept this fact and plan for it. Same thing for living in dry forests, below sea level or anywhere else that has been the subject of a Discovery Channel disaster special.

Take simple medical training. Self-taught, if nothing else. Take rescue classes, wilderness survival classes and learn how to swim. If the only thing you can do is read the Boy Scout Handbook, then read it cover-to-cover every year or so.

2.) If you are in, or wind up in, a de facto leadership position, then LEAD. Leaders have to do the most difficult, simplest, and most important task during a crisis: they must lead.

You must be calm. You must give the appearance of being in complete control, even if --especially if -- you aren't. You are there so that all the people under you who actually get things done, can look to you and think: If he's calm, then things must be under control. That way each person under your command can take heart and do the million tiny things that add up to getting, and keeping, the situation under control

If you don't think you can keep your mud in a ball during a crisis, then step down from your leadership position. And I'll give you a hint: bursting into tears on national television, or spewing obscenities on national television is not keeping your mud in a ball. Once your people see you losing your grip, then they loosen their handle on the situation, and their subordinates come unwound, so on and so forth until the whole situation snowballs into a complete cluster****.

More than likely you will wind up with survivors/refugees/displaced persons or whathaveyou wandering about. If you find yourself with a large group of the above, give them something to do. Do not let them sit and stew on the situation. Grab them, and have them make shelters. Move the elderly. Pitch tents. Dig latrines. Dig graves. Pour tea. Fold towels. Anything. Have them do something and keep them doing something until the situation resolves itself or command passes.

Give your group identity and purpose, impose order and do not allow your group to devolve into anarchy. Use short, simple tasks:

"We're going to the field and erect these tents."
"Now, we will dig 30 latrine pits."
"We will now help everyone move into the tent city."
"Now, we will go to the Wally-World, where we acquire and distribute food, water and medical stuff."
"Now, we will keep watch in rotation on the tent city until morning."
"It is morning, we will now clear the streets between this Dome and the airport to ensure that vehicles can move between the airport and our tent city."

Simple, easy tasks. If their minds and bodies are busy, it is better for everyone involved.

...

Doing something about the problems, and in that doing something, helping the group as a whole, is what a large percentage of humans instinctively want to do in a crisis. It's what they need to do.

Most of them simply require someone to tell them to do it, and point them in a direction. Unfortunately in these modern times, people seem to think that "help" involves counseling, and requires "time-outs" and "coming to terms" with the situation. I guess so, but all that is to be done after the fan has finished flinging the manure. You can counsel, pat-hands and empathize on National TeeVee after civilization has returned.

Up until that time what is needed is someone who can say:
"You and you -- get off your arses and grab that tent.
You, stop snivelling and give them a hand.
Take the tents over to that flat ground.
You and the rest of your pack, grab those shovels, go over to the far side of the parking lot and start digging trenches. Five feet deep, two feet wide and as long as you can make them."

It's not fun. There will be no rewards. You will have to make tough decisions and stand by them.

Why should you do it?

Because someone has to."

Our Enemies are Willing to Play Until They're Ready to Declare Playtime Over

Written by Roger Kimball of "The New Criterion" blog, this article smacks a useful idiot (one Mr. Walker, a UPI writer) upside the head with a mighty swing of the cluebat...this kind of writing ability makes me jealous and gives me something to strive for in my own scribblings.

The writer Mr. Kimball refers to is one of a disturbingly large group of people (many of them squishy media types) who think that the massive Islamic infiltration and stealth takeover of Europe is nothing to worry about, because they will be changed as much by European culture as European culure will be changed by them. Umm, yeah, sure, you go with that, just don't forget to pay your jizya there little dhimmi when Mohammed's homeboys take over your block and outlaw the sale of croissants because they are in a shape that "offends" Islamic sensibilities. Juicy morsels are provided below, and read it all if you'd like...it's good stuff.

"Mr. Walker soothes us with the thought that the clash between radical Islam and the West is not "foreordained." So what? The Second World War wasn't foreordained, either. But as the 1930s wore on and the pusillanimous men of good will bargained, negotiated, accommodated, and appeased the Nazis, it became more and more likely. There was nothing "foreordained" about Hitler's Panzer divisions rolling into Poland on September 1, 1939. I doubt that provided much consolation to the denizens of Warsaw. The lack of necessity offers no protection against the imperatives of actuality.

Mr. Walker's essay belongs to that large and growing genre of fiction, the political fairytale. The aim of such works is not to put its readers to sleep, but to soothe them into acquiescence. This it does in two ways. First, it tells people what they want to hear--the threat of radical Islam is overstated by irresponsible purveyors of hysteria. Second, it flatters their moral vanity: you, Dear Reader, are a good liberal and know that there is no political problem that cannot be solved by good will and a willingness to negotiate and see the other chap's point of view.

But wait: What is the other chap's point of view? I have always admired this frank observation by Hussein Massawi, a former Hezbollah leader: "We are not fighting so that you will offer us something, We are fighting to eliminate you." Point noted. ...

Mr. Walker's talk of "Europe's Mosque Hysteria" is on a par with the criticism of "Islamophobia." A phobia is an irrational fear or dread. But dreading the effects of the incursion of radical Islam into Western society is eminently rational, as the events of 9/11, 7/7, the Madrid train bombing, the Bali nightclub bombing, the murder of Theo van Gogh, the wave of embassy burnings in the wake of those Danish cartoons of Moahmmed, and a hundred other incidents show. Like Rodney King, Mr. Walker wonders why we can't all get along. Neville Chamberlain tried the same wheeze. Adolf was only too happy to play along. Until, that is, he decided the time for playing was over."

Thank God for Presidential Term Limits

Via the London Times, of all places, columnist Gerard Baker executes the most devastating takedown of the President's feckless foreign policy I have seen to date. By that I do NOT mean he is a wild-eyed socialist with hatred oozing from every pore at all things Republican and spittle flying out with every enraged word. Even today I agree with the President's stated goals in the War on Terrorism, in the Middle East, etc., and no one wants it to succeed more than me. There's just one teeny problem...the execution of that plan has been terrible at times, and the backbone to implement said plan and see it through to victory been sorely lacking (the bravery of our ridiculously overworked and undersupported soldiers notwithstanding).

From Iraq to the Lebanon/Israeli conflict to Afghanistan to Iran, I have to admit that, while it isn't all the President's fault (Ehud Olmert, France, the U.N., Iran and Syria, Hezbollah, etc), some of it is his fault and it looks bad. The only reason N. Korea isn't on the list is because the backward, communist hellhole is entirely too corrupt and incompetent to produce functioning conventional missiles, much less nuclear weapons, but it isn't for lack of trying. Read it all, and if you are interested in a less kind and gentle critique of Condi Rice's fumbling in the Middle East, there's links at the end for that too, courtesy of the Emperor Misha (language alert in effect here and here).

"But the US could take the risk of alienating the world and discarding international law only if its leadership was going to be effective. Instead its leadership has been desultory and uncertain and tragically ineffective.

It tried unilateral pre-emption in Iraq, but never really had the will to see it through. So with Iran, it went all mushy and multilateralist. In Lebanon, it thought it would cover all the bases start by aggressively supporting Israel, then go all peacenik, holding hands with the UN in a touching chorus of Kumbaya.

Now we have the worst of all worlds. Not only is the US despised around the globe, it cant even make its supposed hegemony work. Its one thing to be seen as the bully in the schoolyard; its quite another when people realise the bully is actually incapable of getting anybody else to do what he wants. Its unpleasant when people stop respecting you, but its positively terrifying when they stop fearing you. What we have now is a situation in which the worlds only superpower, with the largest economic and military advantage any country has ever enjoyed on Earth, is pinned down like Gulliver, tormented by an army of fundamentalist Lilliputians. ...

But I dont truly see how the failings in the Middle East could have been avoided by Washingtons being nicer to foreigners. Whats been missing is resolute leadership. It is hard for me to recall a time when the world was such a scary place. No one should rejoice at Americas weakness. The world is scarier still because of it."

The Textbook Definition of Travesty of Justice

Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean

Remember these names. These men were both decorated U.S. Border Patrol agents until March of last year, when they encountered a drug dealer and illegal immigrant, one Osvaldo Aldrete Davila, attempting to enter the country with over 800 pounds of drugs. Let me say that again, EIGHT HUNDRED POUNDS of drugs. When these agents caught up to this drug dealer in his van, Mr. Davila fled on foot and then attacked agent Compean when the agent finally chased him down. After breaking free from his struggle with Agent Compean, Mr. Davila ran toward a river, and then turned and pointed what Agent Campos believed to be a weapon in his direction. Agent Campos fired his service weapon, wounding Mr. Davila, and he was eventually taken into custody. Now, at this point, one might naturally conclude that Mr. Davila would be booked and prosecuted for attemtped illegal entry into the U.S. and possession of drugs valued at over $1 million in street value. (Disclaimer-- I personally happen to think the "War on Drugs" is a crock, a misnomer, and a waste of money, but for now this is the law of the land and thus should be enforced. --Ed.)

So what actually happens? Mr. Davila is given free medical care and immunity from any and all criminal charges in exchange for his testimony against the two Border Patrol agents who shot him in the line of duty. Mr. Campos and Mr. Compean were both arrested for assault and civil rights violations and are facing up to TWENTY YEARS in prison apiece for simply doing their job. After a trial that featured, at best, dubious and heavy-handed legal tactics by both the prosecutors and some of the agents' "colleagues", changing testimony from adverse witnesses and from the illegal immigrant felon himself, and multiple likely violations of the agents' rights of due process, the agents were convicted on all charges and are awaiting sentencing. And here's the kicker...the drug dealing, illegal immigrant felon, Mr. Davila, has now filed a $5 million dollar civil suit againt the U.S. and the Border Patrol, claiming his civil rights were violated.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with our government pulling a stunt like this...granting immunity to drug dealing felons, providing him with free medical care, and putting two U.S. citizens and Border Patrol agents in federal prison. At minimum, the drug dealer should be in prison, and he is fortunate, based on his actions, not to be dead (which he deserves). Frankly, he deserves that too. Ashamed, disgusted, infuriated...none of those words convey my feelings toward the government right now and the sorry state of affairs to which at least some of this country has deteriorated. Below are some links where you can read more if you can do it without an unhealthy spike in blood pressure. Write your congressmen, Governor Perry, the President, make phone calls, pray for them and their families...whatever you can to help these men, they desperately need it.

--At least the Border Patrol union chief is standing by his agents. They damn well should have a new and fair trial, and should be released on their own recognizance to paid administrative leave pending their trial.

--Here is a CA newspaper interview with Agent Ramos, just heartbreaking...as is this online plea.

A Woman's Vocabulary

This funny stuff right here, courtesy of my friend Amy. I always said that when a woman tells a man she'll be ready in2 minutes, that's the same length of time a man means when he says there's 2 minutes left in the game (in neither case is it two actual minutes, it can range from 5-30 or more, lol)...this just proves my point. Enjoy!

> (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
>
> (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
>
> (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
>
> (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
>
> (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
>
> (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
>
> (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint...just say you're welcome.
>
> (8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying, up yours!
>
> (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong," for the woman's response refer to # 3.

Hezbollah Doesn't Have to Disarm OR Return the Kidnapped Israeli Soldier? The Hell You Say...

So yeah, after the U.N. resolution ending the Israel and Hezbollah fighting, said fighting sparked by a Hezbollah attack on Israel in which it kidnapped two Israeli soldiers, the resolution is broken, and nothing happens, including no mention whatsoever of the return of the kidnapped Israeli soldiers. Never mind that there was a prior resolution from the U.N. (# 1559) demanding that Hezbollah disarm. Just like the 17 resolutions on Iraq before that were never enforced , there was no attempt to enforce 1559 either, and there will be no attempt to enforce this resolution should it be broken (see today's events). I am Jack's complete lack of surprise, and the fact that Israel's PM bought this pig in a poke to begin with borders on a nice chunky mixture of stupidity and criminal negligence.

Not only did Hezbollah continue sending rockets at Israel today (albeit in lower numbers), the crux of this resolution was that the Lebanese army would take over southern Lebanon and disarm Hezbollah. On the day the ceasefire takes effect, the Lebanese army goes to take control of the border and disarm Hezbollah, and Hezbollah tells them to shove it and that there will be no disarming going on today or any other day. For extra added bonus fun, France, the "leader" of the U.N./Arab delegation, has said that it will not enforce the disarmament of Hezbollah, saying it is Lebanon's job. Just another day in Vichy France. You know how the old saying goes, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results." Israel got out of Lebanon, the Gaza Strip, and has done everything demanded by it of the enemies who preach its destruction except cease to exist as a country. Why anyone ever thought another worthless piece of diplomatic paper would ever work, much less solve anything, in the Middle East especially, is beyond me. Read the whole depressing thing, via Ed @ Captain's Quarters.

Maurice Clarett...A Sports Tragedy

By now just about everyone has heard the story of Maurice Clarett, a former Ohio State University star running back who came up from a rough upbringing to become friends with LeBron James and to arrive on the cusp of similar superstardom. Maurice, however, ran into trouble with the law at OSU, unsuccessfully challenged the NFL's rule that players must be out of high school three years before entering the league, became a 3rd round pick of the Denver Broncos, and was cut before the end of training camp. How could someone who almost single handedly led the Buckeyes to a national title over the 17 point favorite Miami Hurricanes in the Fiesta Bowl less than three years ago come to such an unfortunate end...? Now Clarett sits in an Ohio jail on a $5 million dollar bond, undergoing a mental evaluation, awaiting trial any day now for a robbery from 2005. He also faces a variety of state and federal charges, including weapons charges, from this year, with trial on those charges likely sometime in 2007. These 3 ESPN columns (here, here, and here) tell the cumulative story as well as anything I have read, and it's a sad cautionary tale of too much stardom and fame too soon combined with a lack of maturity and support system. Could Maurice Clarett have been the next Jim Brown? As the owl in the Tootsie Pop commercial says, "The world may never know." Read it all if you can stand it.

1.) "And now what? He had no money, although he claims he's made some periodic cash doing autograph sessions. His rap friends had financed him, with the idea he'd pay them back with his NFL riches. But there were no riches. He left for his hometown of Youngstown, thinking he'd go to NFL Europe and get himself back on the field, get himself financially liquid. But then there was his New Year's Eve arrest in 2006, and his pending court case. Not a team would touch him. "He'll never play again,'' said a league executive. So how was he going to pay these people back? How much did he owe? Were these people on his back? Were these the threats his lawyer spoke about? Does this explain the assault rifle? The bulletproof vest? The phone call to me?

So it all makes sense, all the contriteness, all the thank-yous, all the quasi-goodbyes. If someone was coming after Maurice Clarett, that meant someone was coming after his baby girl. And if someone was coming after his baby girl, he was going to do anything he could to stop it. If that meant carrying four guns and wearing a bulletproof vest, so be it. Maybe, Tuesday night, he knew it was over. Maybe that's why he told me, "I'm a young man going through stress. I'm a person who was scheduled to make millions and didn't make 'em."

2.) But once reports of this compensation began to leak into the media, Ohio State predictably wanted nothing more to do with Clarett. It had its national championship. It did not want NCAA probation.

"So Brown and several other people far smarter than Clarett encouraged him to challenge the NFL draft rules in court. He did. He won. District Judge Shira Sheindlein basically laughed the NFL's lawyers out of her courtroom. She basically said the NFL was denying Clarett his basic American right -- the opportunity to earn a living, to succeed or fail in pro football after no more than one year of college.

Clarett briefly was hailed as a crusader, a pioneer, college football's Curt Flood. But of course, the big, bad NFL took its case to appeals court and won. And eventually, the Supreme Court upheld that decision. The NFL didn't have a better argument than Clarett did, but it had better lawyers and more influence. He would have to sit out two full years before he could enter the draft. Two. long. years. And of course, a kid without much of a work ethic got fat, lost his football edge and his way, was lucky to be drafted in the third round by Denver's Mike Shanahan, then failed quickly for all the world to ridicule."

3.) "What if the fact that the police caught Clarett when they did turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to him in his life? Seeing the direction his life was going? The direction his SUV was headed?

What if all of this is his blessing?

"This arrest may save his life," XM radio's "House of Sports" host Terry Tuff said. "It's time for Maurice Clarett to stop dreaming about being a professional football player and start trying to become a professional human being. This situation, God might be working with him. He wasn't going to the cash station, that's for sure," continued Pruitt, who is now running the football program for the Chicago public schools. "This arrest saved him. The way he was dressed, the time of night, what he had in the car, he was a man on rage. If they hadn't gotten to him when they did, there's no telling how his night would have ended."

Four loaded guns, bulletproof vest, half-empty bottle of vodka, life-cleansing phone calls to a friend (LeBron), a writer (Tom Friend), his agent (Nick Mango), his former coach at OSU (Jim Tressel) and the owner of a team he had signed to play for in the Eastern Indoor Football League (Jim Terry), a holster in a backpack, a CD of children's songs sung by prison inmates, while only blocks away from the home of a woman who was slated to testify against (and identify) him in a pending case in which he was awaiting trial on two counts of aggravated battery, four counts of robbery and one count of carrying a concealed weapon.

All signs directed toward the end of something. His life or someone else's. Something only a blessing can block. Because at the rate Clarett's life was spiraling out of control, death was not far away. Not far from next. And he was not far from becoming a more highly celebrated version of Rae Carrruth. Or worse, the next O.J. ...

Two years before Clarett entered the halls of Ohio State University -- where some say his life began and others argue that it really ended -- Harry Edwards, in an interview with ColorLines magazine, discussed what eventually could be Clarett's eulogy. "The overwhelming majority of black athletes come out of the lower echelons of black society," the professor said. "I don't think it is accidental when you look at the inordinate number of blacks in jail and the proportionate number of blacks on athletic teams. You are essentially looking at the same guy. They both have numbers; they are both in uniforms, and they both belong to gangs. They only call one the Crips, or the Bloods, while they call the other team the 49ers, Warriors, A's, or the Giants. They are all in pursuit of respect. They all, at one level or another, keep score. The parallels are all there. It is the same guy."

A 6-foot, 230-pound running back who once wore the number 13 and rushed for 1,237 yards in a one-year career at football's second highest level, scoring 18 touchdowns and never losing a game, finds his way to the criminal justice system. To become a part of it. For possibly the next 10-15 years. Minimum time, maximum security."

Hopefully They Get This BEFORE Tel Aviv Glows in the Dark

Via Thinking Meat blog, we get some timely pearls of wisdom re: how a nation gets and keeps respect, especially in light of this most recent "ceasefire", which I wager will be worth about as much and last about as long as any one of Yasser Arafat's empty peace promises. Unfortunately, if Israel continues to play Mr. Nice Guy in attempts to maintain the "moral high ground", they will obtain such ground only at the cost of the lives of their citizens and the extinction of their freedom and country. Today's required reading, check out the whole thing.

... "You don't get respect by begging for it -- you get respect by showing that you respect yourself, and will take no crap from those who don't share that view. That's why China can mow down demonstrators on CNN, and get respect. It's why Iran can execute teenage girls for being raped, and get respect. It's why Saudi Arabia can be a privately owned backwards hellhole whose sole contribution to the world is Wahhabist terorrism, whose religious police shove girls into burning schools, and whose laws enshrine religious bigotry -- and they still get more respect than you. They don't ask for respect, they assume it, even though they hardly deserve it. You, on the other hand, permit yourself to be judged by a group 99f which isn't fit to be in the same room with decent nations. Well, if you don't respect yourself, don't expect it from others. That's just life.

... What does all of this mean, in practical terms? Are you really to start disregarding world opinion? Absolutely. Do what you and your citizens need. Right now, that means eradicating Hezbollah. So do that. Destroy them, without worrying about what happens to those they hide amongst -- it's sad that Lebanese innocents will die, but you are Israel, and your concern is with Israeli innocents.

Lebanon should have worried about its civilians when Hezbollah was parking missile bunkers under their schools -- but they chose not to, and the consequences of that choice aren't your problem. That doesn't mean you target civilians just because, Hezbollah-style; but you know that. On the other hand, if the Lebanese park a missile launcher in a nursery, you take out the missile launcher. The nursery is not your problem. If you can't deal with having blood on your hands, you won't have a nation for long. No nation can survive that kind of squeamishness. You'll note that Arabs have no issues with infanticide, and they have some two dozen nations. After all they've done to you for the last 50 years, you don't need to apologize to them. (No, that doesn't mean you stoop to their level. But don't be such high-minded elitists that they shoot you off your high horse, either. War is hell, and if they don't want to wear cement in the morning, perhaps they should accept their losses and your existence. Otherwise, they can die, making their feelings about your existence a purely academic question.)

Always remember: as Israelis, your job is to protect Israelis. Protecting Arabs from their own suicidal stupidity is not your job -- that's why they have their own governments and mental health facilities. Sacrificing your own people -- soldiers or civilians -- in order to protect Arabs from the consequences of their behavior is downright criminal negligence. Your people come first -- period.

There is no "third way" -- five thousand years of history prove that conclusively. To end conflicts, win them. World opinion isn't worth a warm cup of spit. Every "normal" country out there knows it. Figure it out, and you too will join the community of nations. And you won't have to sacrifice your people anymore."

And this 2004 post from the same blog, while obviously written partially tongue-in-cheek, contains tasty nuggets of truth on how to get "world opinion" on your side, if you think that sort of thing matters. It would also be sad if some of it weren't so true.

Best Birthday in Recent Memory

Even though I spent most of the day in court, stayed late at the office finishing up work and getting ahead for next week, and drove home in a monsoon, my birthday yesterday was really great. See, holidays are alright, and I certainly appreciate the breaks from work and such. Until I became a lawyer, however, I spent most of my adult life working around and even through the holidays, so holidays don't mean as much to me as most folks, and they probably won't until I have a family of my own.

For me, my birthday is like my own little special holiday, and since my family wasn't exactly rich growing up, presents are nice, but they are not nearly the most important thing to me on my birthday. I would prefer, by a wide margin, to hear from or spend time with my friends and loved ones on my birthday. I am a very giving person who will and does do anything I possibly can for the people I care about. On that day though, I am not ashamed to say that I want it to be about me, just for a little while. I saw my family the weekend before, and heard from my dad and brother yesterday. And my friends, what else can I say about them except that they are awesome...the well wishes and phone calls started about a half hour into my birthday, just after midnight (thanks Leanne!) and didn't let up throughout the day. Phone calls, text messages, myspace comments, or in person visits...I was very happy because everyone I truly cared about made it a point to get in touch with me and wish me happy birthday. Then today the folks at my office pitched in and took me to my favorite Chinese place for lunch.

Truly good times all around, thanks to everyone for making my birthday so wonderful, and to all my amigos out there, you are all a blessing and I am thankful and proud to call you my friends.

The Big 2-7

Today is the day that I turn 27, and I have court all day today so no big plans are in the works, at least for today. As I told a friend of mine earlier this week, birthdays are a reminder of the relentless march of time, but they are also useful to reflect back on all that has been accomplished. It sounds odd to say, but I have been an attorney for over two years now. I know this is an accomplishment for someone my age, as several of my clients have asked if I am a paralegal, because they thought I was too young to be an attorney, lol. I also got my first raise at my current job right before my birthday, which is awesome b/c every little bit helps. I have also, in the last year, grown substantially in my faith and made things right with God. He and I don't always agree on everything, and sometimes there is little more than an uneasy peace between us, but I know He is the boss, I trust Him, and the lines of communication are open. That's a big step and I am very proud of it. Finally, I have added some wonderful people to my stable of friends, and I am thankful for them all. There's tons more for me experience in this world, and I can't wait to see where God is taking me. :)

Move Along Nothing To See Here, No Muslim Takeover Going On

Via Michelle Malkin, we read about a virtual al-Qaeda safe haven up in Dearborn, Michigan (a.k.a. Dearbornistan), where a statistically disproportionate number of Islamic terrorists have already been convicted and many others charged for various terrorist offenses, including money laundering in support of Hezbollah, RICO violations, and tax evasion, among other things. Even greater numbers of people than that freely preach violent jihad against us in the very country in which they live, considering themselves Muslims first and Americans second. Yet too many people, our own authorities included, take a Chief Wiggum from The Simpsons approach, saying, "Move along, nothing to see here." In that episode, the full text of the line is, "Move along, nothing to see here, OHMYGOD, a terrible plane crash!" I simply hope that enough people wake up, pay attention, and address this threat before another terrible terrorist incident comes to visit us here at home courtesy of the jihadists already in our midst. That said, I am not hopeful that this will happen absent another attack. Read the whole thing, it's full of rich and creamy link-filled goodness.

A Mother's Love For and Her Responsibilty to Her Son

Great post here from the Leatherneck M31 here re: a mother's responsibility to her son. I personally believe that too many mothers, albeit with the best of intentions, and too much of society (radical feminists, I am looking in your direction) think that boys and girls are only different in terms of plumbing and should be treated as such. This is nonsense. Mothers should love their sons, but also should be especially careful not to cling too tightly to their sons (beginning around the age of 5) to avoid unhealthy attachments, a form of emotional incest if you will. Make sure they don't break any laws or hurt anyone, but let the boys be boys so they can turn into the kind of men who will make us all proud and who will be able to stand up and man up to the threats we as a country and civilization already and soon shall face. As they say, read the whole thing.

"First, regardless of his age, stop mollycodding your son right now. I mean it. Stop treating him like a louder version of your daughter, your niece, your neighbor's girls, or yourself. He is not a more rambunctious form of girl which you hope will settle down, damnit he is a male, an American male. He, your little boy, will in part be the difference in whether we survive as a culture, as a nation.

Thirty years of feminist indoctrination damn near ruined our country...we're now in a rebuilding program. The barbarians are at the gate.

Get him the hell out of soccer with its fake injuries and little red cards and its European influence. Your kid... YOUR Kid... needs a bloody nose. Best place to get one is the boxing ring or the gridiron. See to it. ...

Stop the damned TV, video games and the junk food... stop the text messaging crap and give him chores to do at home; he should have been doing them anyway. You don't carry a grocery bag, you don't make his rack, you don't pick up after him. He does his own damned laundry and his gets a job outside the home... tomorrow, if not tonight. ...

You tell him you're counting on him and that the family counts on him. It's different coming from you as opposed to his Dad or his coach. Men will do whatever it takes to protect women, home and hearth, the weak. It's you job to tell him this is his legacy, his duty... it is his honor, his country.

Set him apart. Tell him he is different from his soft, weak, gender-confused friends. The last thing he needs is hair products, expensive clothes and an emphasis on some piece of crap, left-wing college where he will waste his time and your money. ...

Put him in positions that prove to him that he can do more, go farther, work harder, be stronger than he ever thought. He would rather disappoint his father than you... use that to your advantage... and his."

This One's for All the Marbles Boys and Girls

Via Leatherneck M31 comes a cold and sobering assessment of the enemy we face and the coming war. This scuffle between Israel and Hezbollah is like the undercard for the main event, the appetizer to the entree. As always, key quotes provided, but do read the whole thing.

"It does not matter what John Kerry and his imaginary friends would do in his Bizzaro World of Fractured Reality. It doesn't matter who is president in '08, and it really doesn't matter where the greatest threat of the moment is to be found. This is not a political war; not even a "geographical war"... this is a war of survival, and our survival depends on killing enough IslamoNazis until they cease to be a threat. Kill a million? No; seven to 10 million is more like it, and that's just my conservative guess based on the estimated number of radical Muslims in the world. Nits breed lice. We are now in the Neo-Neville Chamberlain Era or "2NCE" as I call it... "too nice... get it?" Chamberlain announced "peace in our time" just before 62 million were slaughtered in WWII because no one stopped Hitler and the Japanese. ...

In this coming fight, some of these fools will learn far too little and far too late that this is for all the marbles. This time peace will not be secured by defeating a country or sending diplomats to run up their expense accounts with hookers and fattening French food.

It will be had by killing.

There is no exit strategy (see: Center, World Trade). It doesn't matter if gasoline is $11 a gallon; it only matters if your kids have a place to get out of the line of fire. Get onboard or miss the train."

A Simple Ceasefire Solution...Stop Killing Us!

This is so simple, the Muslim world, the U.N,. and all the king's diplomats would never figure it out in a thousand years: From Mike at Cold Fury, STOP KILLING US!

"Thats all; just stop killing us. Jew, American, decadent Western porn merchant, infidels anywhere and everywhere just stop killing us. If you do that, we can stop worrying about defending ourselves the only truly effective means of which seems to be killing you and all those resources that you and your oppressive theo-kleptocracies currently devote to killing us can be put to better use...like, say, buying more black fabric with which to swaddle those blank, subjugated women you're all so threatened by.

Stop lobbing missiles at Israel from the territory they've ceded you, and using the civilian populations of those areas (if any) as objects to cower behind. Perhaps you could turn instead to trying to develop one just one prosperously functioning economy in your hellish corner of the world. Stop sending freakazoid hate-fueled hypocrites to every corner of the world to sit in our titty bars lapping up our fine liquors and undertipping, until the cognitive dissonance gets to be too much for them and they simply can't resist blowing something along with themselves up. Just stop it. Stop insisting that the punishment for infidel dogs all over the world failing to conform to your diseased and hateful religious rules be death at your hands. Just let it go, stay in your own desert warrens or tacky, juiceless cities, and leave us the fu*k alone.

Sell us the oil our vigorous economies demand at market prices, and use the profits to continue the crucial work of flailing your population of howling savages into resentful submission. Or, alternatively, refuse to sell us the oil, and eat the stuff for all we care. Rest assured that well find other sources eventually; we'll find the stones to respond to the absurd demands of our resident enviro-nut leeches with the appropriate scorn and restart the drilling when our situation becomes dire enough to demand it. Meanwhile, stay out of our hair, and stop inflicting your humiliating societal failure and the resultant slavering psychosis on the rest of us.

If you'll just agree to do that, we'll be perfectly content to sit back and let you kill as many of each other as your innate cruelty and illogic demands. We'll watch quietly as your economies grind to a halt, your governments falter, your bitter religion turns inward and destroys itself, and your civilization withers and eventually fades away unlamented. But stop killing us. Otherwise, the bombing will continue until morale (yours) disappears entirely. Thank you so much for your cooperation."

The Will to Win and How We Fight

Columnist Henry Lamb provides as good a condensed version of current events and the possible roads that lie ahead as a result of these events as I've seen in recent memory. It is a sobering assessment, but it's necessary to first objectively define the problems in order to come up with and eventually implement the solutions. Willful ignoring of hard choices, painful realities, and in this case, relentless and fanatical enemies dedicated to our extermination, do not make them go away. When we as a country realize this, we will be more than halfway to winning this war.

Do We Have The Will To Win?
By Henry Lamb
August 4, 2006

"Whether we like it or not, we are at war. And we are not prepared. There's plenty of bombs and bullets in our arsenals, and there's plenty of high-priced, technology-driven machinery. But the most important ingredient for victory is sadly lacking - the will to win. Far too many Americans still deny that the United States is under attack. Far too many Americans would rather believe that the problems in the Middle East, Iran, Afghanistan, Somalia, and elsewhere, are the result of U.S. foreign policy, rather than the result of an emboldened enemy dedicated to our destruction.

Hezbollah, Hamas, the Taliban, Al Qeada, and countless other groups of Islamic fanatics share one goal: to kill the infidels who stand between them and Islamic rule. What the enemy lacks in armaments, is more than compensated for by their dedication and determination. They are prepared to use any weapon, any tactic, any means whatever, to inflict damage on the United States, and its allies. They have no reluctance at all to explode innocent women and children, even their own, if it will gain some public relations advantage. And they are good at what they do.

Far too many Americans, on the other hand, are more concerned about "getting out of Iraq," than recognizing that we are at war. Sensitive to approaching elections, politicians are torn between getting re-elected, and defending the country. The enemy knows us well and is exploiting the U.S. anti-war sentiment by filling the TV screens with the horrors of war.

The war that is now underway has been boiling for decades. Years of "opening shots" were ignored, or met with ridiculously unimpressive responses, until September 11. Even then, the anti-war crowd organized more quickly than did the forces for defense. This war will not end with a cease-fire in Lebanon, nor even a victory in Iraq. There will be no victory in the war until the Islamic fanatics are sent to meet their "virgins," or are driven back into their caves, cut off from their funding and access to the media.

This task will be far more difficult than has been imagined. The governments of Iran and Syria will have to be replaced - one way or another. Scores of terrorist organizations and cells will have to be identified and destroyed, some in countries not yet identified. This effort will take years, not months. It will take a determination not yet acquired by the majority of Americans.

Anti-war talking heads are beginning to say that the Iraqi conflict will soon be longer than World War II - with little or no indication that victory is near. Had America gone into Iraq with the same determination that launched its entry into World War II, The fighting might well be over, but the casualties - on both sides - would be substantially higher, and the land would be laid bare. Israel appears to be sufficiently determined to crush Hezbollah that it is not restrained by the fear of collateral damage. But much of the world condemns Israel for "disproportionate" response, and overlooks the fact that Hezbollah invaded Israel, killed her citizens, and kidnapped her soldiers, in an attack that mirrored an earlier attack by Hamas on the Gaza border.

Does anyone seriously think that these two events were spontaneous, in view of the pending U.N. Resolution calling on Iran to stop its nuclear enrichment program? What a masterful way to redirect the world media from Iran's nuclear program - just start a mini-war between Israel and anyone. Iran has succeeded in re-focusing the world media on Israel's destruction of innocent civilians, while it continues to enrich its uranium and defy the United Nations.

The United Nations, of course, is useless. It can no more stop Iran's enrichment program, than it prevented Hezbollah from taking control of Southern Lebanon during the last 28 years of so-called monitoring. The current drum-beating by the U.N. over the Israel-Lebanon battle is almost irrelevant. In the end, the United States will have to do whatever gets done. If there is not sufficient determination among the people, then government can do very little, and the Islamic fanatics will continue to spread their terror and influence.

If Americans will consider what is at stake, and muster the same degree of determination that defeated Hitler, and every other challenge, this threat to freedom can also be defeated. Make no mistake: this threat must be defeated. Cease-fires, negotiations, and endless U.N. Resolutions only postpone the inevitable. This enemy must be defeated. Anything less than a sweeping, total victory only kicks the can down the road, for another administration, or another generation to confront."

For further thoughts on the tough and unpleasant choices we must face in this long war, here's a good column from Vodkapundit, with a money quote:

Vodkapundit

"The question still remains for us: how do we fight? We don't want to stoop to the enemy's barbarism, but it's even less palatable to consider acquiescing to that very same barbarism. They must be defeated, but how, and at what cost, both to us or to innocents in between? In the end, I'm afraid the answer is still the terrible one: unwillingly harming innocents in the crossfire is still preferrable to surrender--especially when surrender means subjugation at best and annihilation at worst."

I Feel Like a Nomad...Wondering Where Home Might Be

The last few days have brought some interesting revelations and thoughts, and it started last Saturday when I went to my friend/co-worker's housewarming party at her new house that she and her soon-to-be fiancee just bought. Those two crazy kids seem to love each other and are doing well. It is a nice house, good neighborhood, awesome pool, it even has a movie room so good that if I lived there, I might never go to the theater again. Then this evening I went out with my friend Leigh and her boyfriend Dave for dinner and drinks, had a blast. This was my first time meeting Dave, and what can I say, I was impressed, and that doesn't happen often. There are far too few good, solid, and honorable men in this world as it is, so for one of my best friends to end up madly in love with such a guy and he with her, that's good stuff right there. So then I come home from dinner and check my e-mail and myspace to find another friend (maybe former friend, who knows at this point) went and got...MARRIED and didn't even tell me.

Just the way my mind works, maybe it's the lawyer in me, I always look for patterns in things, in life, whatever, try to discern meaning if any is there. All the folks I talked about just now are happy, they are in a good place and they're loved. I think the common thread in all three situations is that these people have found a situation where they truly belong, that feels like home to them...a place where they can settle in and be secure in dealing with whatever life throws their way and in chasing their dreams with all their might.

That's what has been missing with me, literally my whole life. Thinking back even to my childhood, I can't recall a single place, physical location or relationship, where I really fit in, where I felt like I belonged. I have always been too much of something or not enough of something else, the always square peg to many different round holes. Sports, school, friends, romance, even family, you name it, that's me. Moving around a lot geographically, not having any real roots to speak of, and having lots of goals and ambition from a young age probably didn't help much. It's difficult to explain to people, and maybe I am even sucking at trying to explain it right now, but going through life feeling merely tolerated and respected yet never as if you truly belong gets very hollow after a while.

On account of my faith, I certainly believe in God and His plan, and I certainly feel like I have been put here and likewise have been placed in the paths/lives of others for a reason and a season, but I don't think that's the same as belonging. I shouldn't really complain a whole bunch because, by any measurable worldly standard, my life is fine, better than fine even. Too bad fine doesn't cover human emotions or fill in the empty spots in my heart that I try desperately to ignore most of the time. This usually works until I have quiet time of some length, just me and my thoughts, usually before bed at night or on long drives on the interstate. But it's then, those times when it's just me, that's when the void of belonging in my life becomes most obvious and prominent.

I'm not saying my friends don't love me, because I surely believe they do, and ditto for my family, as jacked up as they sometimes are. For starters though, I think I might even settle temporarily for a job where I feel some sense of purpose, as if I truly belong there, just so I get used to the feeling and how great I'm sure it will be when my personal life finally catches up. I really believe my sense of belonging is somewhere out there, a fulfilling professional life, a place I can settle in and call home, and someone to love like crazy, the way my friends in this post are in love. As hard as it sometimes is, all I can do now is try to enjoy the journey as best I can until my time comes for these things to arrive, and trust God that they will.

The Ripley Response

Courtesy of Doc Russia, a former Marine and now a doctor, we have a very interesting strategy for dealing with the current crisis in the Middle East. Is it harsh? You bet. Would there be near-universal condemnation if it ever actually happened? Count on it. To my mind, however, it evokes memories of a question Johnny Smith asked his doctor in the original movie production of Stephen King's "The Dead Zone" in the 80s..."If you had the chance to go back in time and kill Hitler, would you do it?" If the answer is yes, then you should be on board here, as I am.

That's where we are now with Iran, whose President is no less crazy and no less set on the extermination of Israel and the rest of civilization as we know it. The only difference is Iran's leader wishes to see a global Islamic caliphate, while Hitler wanted an Aryan world order. This is where we are right now, because Iran doesn't yet have a nuclear weapon or the capability to inflict massive global harm. They are also the primary supporters of just about every Muslim terrorist group in the Middle East, so the only remaining question now is whether we kill them now, or let them gather strength for a clash of civilizations against a nuclear armed enemy, with the fate of civilization in the balance.

"The simple fact of the matter is that Muslims are out to destroy Western civilization. I intentionally didn't say "extremist Muslims are out to destroy western civilization" because that is a mythical group. Extremist Muslims are like extremist Christians, only with reversed ratios. ...

Want proof? Well, despite what Mel Gibson may say, the fact of the matter is that almost all of the religiously rooted violence in the world is taking place between Muslims, and fill-in-the-blanks. Muslims and Christians fighting in Bosnia. Muslims and Jews fighting in and around Israel. Muslims and Hindus fighting in Kashmir. There is also Muslim-spawned violence going on in Africa, Malaysia, France, the Netherlands, and other areas. Additionally, I cannot think of a single area where Christians and Jews are fighting, Or Hindus and Christians are fighting, or Seikhs and Jews are fighting, or where anybody else is fighting for religious reasons that does not have Muslims as part of the mix. ...

In the end, the killing of civilians either by accident or design is viewed quite differently depending upon who is the actor. As such, we are not winnning the hearts and minds by sparing civilians. We are in the impossible situation of being expected to avoid civilian casualties while still being chastised as morally inferior to the terrorists because they are fighting for "root causes." There is no way that a society so terminally entrenched will ever change their mind. So, as CPL Keeney used to say, "since they won't let us win their hearts and minds, it's time to burn their fuc*ing village down."

So, my dear readers, I am advocating the implementation of what I call the 'Ripley Strategy.' The 'Ripley Strategy' is named for the "Ripley" character played by Sigourney Weaver in the movie 'Aliens.' Ripley is interrogated, given her prior experience with the Aliens, as to what she thinks the best course of action is. Her response is the most pure of American simplicity:

"Nuke it from orbit; it's the only way to be sure".

NUKE IRAN. No UN Security Council, no mulit-bi-uni-lateral talks, no threats, no negotiating. Iran is the prime mover behind Muslim terrorists, and Muslim terrorists are the prime causes of violence on this planet in our day, so I say that we Nuke Iran first, and then instead of our usual policy of asking permission, we instead ask for forgiveness for making Lake Tehran with it's radioactive glass shores. ...

We really need to stick to what GWB said after 9-11. We really need to make no distinction between the terrorist organizations, and the countries that support them. Hezbollah attacked Israel. Hezbollah is allowed in Lebanon, ergo; Lebanon attacked Israel. Hezbollah killed 241 Marines in Beirut, Hezbollah is allowed in Lebanon. Therefore, Lebanon killed 241 Marines. There ain't no statute of limitations on murder, and I say that it's time we avenged those Marines, long past time for that, in fact. We still have the right, on behalf of those Marines, to demand that Lebanon dismantle and outlaw Hezbollah, or, on behalf of those Marines, we have the right to nuke them from orbit. (emphasis mine --Ed.)

We are past the time for half-measures. Nuke 'em from orbit; it's the only way to be sure."

Ever Wake Up Sometimes Wishing You Hadn't?

I don't mean this in the "life sucks" way, it's just that I have some dreams that are so intense and so powerful (some good, others scary), that when they are good, I find myself wishing I hadn't awakened, that I could just sleep and stay there a little longer, even if it isn't real.

The most frequent of these good dreams have to do with sports, oddly enough. In my awake, real-life world, I know I miss sports, competition, the field of battle, and the guys. Most of the time I deal with it fairly well, but sometimes, man, it literally hurts I miss it so bad. It isn't any one thing either, but it's a whole package of things, small ones for the most part...psyching yourself up before going onto the wrestling mat for a match, that deep breath and focus just before bearing down to strike out a tough hitter, or stepping it off, three steps straight back, three to the side, one last look at the goalposts and a nod to the holder to let him know you're ready for the snap just before kicking a field goal.

The dream I have had the most often since the end of my varsity sports days centers around football. I find myself getting off the bus and carrying my shoulder pads and helmet to the locker room outside the field. The only difference is, it's ME there, the me of now, knowing everything I know about life, myself, and most of all, how much I miss the game...only, no one else knows this. So I take it all in, slowly, just as I would if I really had it to do over again. Our school mascot was the Tigers, so, of course the press box played "Eye of the Tiger" before every game. I hear the first few chords of that famous song by Survivor, and my pulse quickens. The trainer helps me on with my pads and jersey, I walk around slapping shoulder pads with my teammates, telling them "Let's go boys!", then we walk out, captains (myself included) in the lead. Walking out through the gate, we slap hands with the crowd and students, the music rising, we work ourselves into a frenzy behind the paper banner built by the cheerleaders...and just as the last chorus of "Eye of the Tiger" hits, we burst through the paper to raucous cheers, yelling like wild men, sprinting to the sidelines, helmets lifted to the crowd in appreciation.

Then, dead silence. The team huddles on the sideline and we recite the Lord's Prayer, and ask for Him to watch over us, protect us from injury, and forgive us our sins. Then we spread out along the sideline, helmets in left hand behind the back, right hand over our hearts as the National Anthem plays, and it gives me chills, a lump in my throat, but it's different, deeper, more meaningful. This Chris knows about 9/11 and the aftermath, the valor of the soldiers who fight for the flag and our country, and that a quiet young man who is a teammate on the field with me this very night will die nine years later in the mountains of Afghanistan so football games like this one can continue take place. We win the toss and defer to the second half, meaning our team is kicking off. I was/am an All-Region and All-State Honorable Mention as a kicker and punter (also play(ed) wide receiver) so I pull on my helmet and lead the cheer, "Tigers! clap, clap Tigers! clap, clap yeeeaaaaahhhhh Tigers!!...and the kickoff team becomes a mob scene, then dashes onto the field, where we line up eleven strong.

As I step off my steps (seven back and seven to the side for kickoffs), I pause...breathe in the crisp autumn air, glance at the crowd, take a look at my teammates, all of us poised and ready for battle. For the next 60 minutes, all is right with the world and nothing else outside those sidelines matters...not my grandfather, my hero, strong, proud, in the stands cheering for me, who will be dead my sophomore year of college of a broken heart of his own from the death of my granny; not my stepdad, also in the stands, who was a wonderful male role model to me growing up, but who will finally have all he can stand of my biomom and leave her less than a year later to start a new family with a wife who loves him; and certainly not my own badly bruised heart, pounding in my chest, which sometimes feels 62 rather than 26.

Suddenly, reality snaps me back to consciousness in the form of the referee's whistle. I raise my arm, and then drop it to signal my teammates to begin the sprint downfield, and I kick the ball high, deep, hanging, and then we unleash hell. Grunts, sprinting bodies at kamikaze speeds hurtling downfield, the cracking of helmets and shoulder pads, and the crunch of a solid tackle as I hit the returner and save a touchdown. The dream isn't always exactly the same, sometimes we win, others we lose, but it always ends with me walking off the field, taking it all in, perfectly content...and then I wake up.

Although I have a pang of sadness because I realize it was a dream, I am thankful because God allowed me to have the experience at all, both in real life the first go-round and in my dreams now. It's things like this, these dreams, that lead me to believe there is more to life than this bag of bones and the mortal coil. Even though my playing days are done, I truly believe my heavenly father knows how much this experience(s) meant to me then and how much more it means to me now...and even if I only get to visit that place in my dreams now and only occasionally, I still get to go. What a wonderful gift that is...thanks Dad :).