Friday, October 30, 2009

The Job Search is 99.9% Over

I've been unemployed or employed only part-time since March of this year. After nearly 8 months, I finally got a call today offering me a job. The reason I say the search is 99.9% over is because my future boss told me the interview process is over, that he had checked my references, and that he would like me to come and work in his department.

He told me that he still has to get my final salary number, and thus my final hiring approval, from the Personnel Department. As soon as the has that, I will get a start date, an office, and a firm salary figure. At that time, and not before, the search will be 100% over. I had a celebratory dinner at home with the wife tonight, but we will do something bigger and nicer to celebrate after I start my job and get my first paycheck.

I can't wait to get back to work, and a post full celebration of new job/reflection on my time between jobs will be coming in the very near future. But for now, today was a really good day, and it was a long time coming. Thank you Lord, for everything.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Jason Whitlock on Changing the Rules about Strange Tang

His recent attacks on Rush Limbaugh based on "quotes" that Limbaugh never actually said, FOXSports.com's Jason Whitlock is one of my favorite columnists about contemporary issues that have to do with sports and athletes. His columns are so interesting because they almost always have a new, unique angle or perspective that you will never hear from the mainstream media. Whether Whitlock himself personally holds these beliefs is irrelevant, because the job of a writer is to write interesting things that people will read with enthusiasm, and putting conventional wisdom down on paper won't get you there very often.

Most recently, ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips was fired from ESPN for his extramarital affair with a woman half his age. His mistress flipped out when he tried to end the affair, contacted his wife, and even tried to mess with his kids at school, but at least she didn't kill him like Steve McNair's mistress did. Although my faith and personal beliefs don't really permit me the luxury of believing in what Whitlock suggests as an actual solution to the affair pandemic for men (athletes and non-athletes alike), his suggestion to remove some of the taboo and social shame that comes with an affair at least makes some intellectual sense. Whitlock first brought up how destructive affairs can sometimes be (he calls the other woman phenomenon Strange Tang or Pussy Galore) in the case of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino, who banged a woman not his wife on the table of a restaurant and then had the woman try to extort money from him...not good times. Strange Tang has also claimed Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton, former Indiana Pacers hoops star Reggie Miller, and Dallas Mavericks superstar NBA F Dirk Nowitzki as its victims, and for every 3-4 of these cases we hear about, there are many more that we don't. The impact on the families of these men is inexcusable and even having an affair demonstrates terrible judgment, but as Whitlock says, affairs have absolutely no bearing on whether someone is a good coach, commentator, or athlete, and it's time to stop pretending otherwise.

Here are the money quotes from Whitlock's article, read and decide for yourself:

"There are moments in our history when common sense forces us to change the rules in deference to a unique, unprecedented force of nature. In the aftermath of ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips' sordid affair with Monica Lewinsky II, we can no longer deny the inadequacies of America's current relationship rules as they pertain to the battle against Pussy Galore.

It's time to change the rules of the game. There's been too much carnage. She shredded Rick Pitino's reputation. She pushed Josh Hamilton off the wagon. She sweet-talked Charles Barkley into driving drunk. She hoodwinked Dirk Nowitzki into falling in love with a fugitive. And now a 22-year-old slump-buster has apparently cost Steve Phillips his marriage and his credibility to analyze baseball. It's not right. A little off-the-books nookie should not infringe on man's ability to discuss bats and balls in October. Enough is enough. It's time we had an adult conversation about Ms. Galore and her ability to ruin lives, careers and reputations. We have given her this power and it's obvious she's abusing it.

...Let's put an end to the sexual madness. Let's recognize where we're at as a society and open our borders. Technological, medical and sociological advances have rendered monogamy a theory/fantasy attained solely by men without options and even less self-confidence. Sexual prohibition for a healthy American man is as futile as alcohol prohibition. Man was meant to eat, drink and be merry, and a heterosexual man's happiness is directly tied to his visitation privileges with PG. Man is most happy when he is free to experience her pleasure in her varied forms, textures and styles of dress.

I like steak. Capital Grille is my favorite steakhouse. I could eat at Capital Grille seven nights a week. But, especially when I'm traveling, I like to experience different steakhouses. My occasional trips to Shula's, Morton's, Ruth's Chris and Smith and Wollensky in no way infringe upon my undying love and support of Capital Grille. In fact, shortly after I've digested my meal at a different steakhouse, I'm reminded just how much I love Cap Grille.

Consequently, if a man can afford a no-disease, no-pregnancy occasional night on the town without it affecting his financial and lovemaking responsibilities at home, as mature adults we must reach the point where we can allow this without breaking up the family or running a man from political office/off the set of a popular TV show.

It's simply not personal. It's physical. And in many ways it's a weakness magnified by societal evolution. Monogamy was invented before women entered the workplace, text messaging, cell phones, Viagra, exercise, makeup, perfume, hair extensions, shaved legs, clothes that revealed cleavage, Internet porn and on and on. Seriously, think about it. Let's just go back 50 or 60 years. The typical American man didn't exercise and smoked cigarettes. By age 45 he was almost completely out of the game. Stress, hypertension and just being fat and lazy knocked about all the starch out of his little man. Marilyn Monroe could proposition him, and there was a 75 percent chance he couldn't answer the call to duty.


...Gender equality has given men more access to women. This is not a good thing for fidelity. Madonna, Britney, Paris and Lil' Kim haven't helped much, either. Women are far more sexually aggressive than they used to be. They'll describe in graphic detail exactly what they'll do that your wife can't or won't, and they'll back it up by texting you a naked cell-phone pic.

...It's long past time to change the rules. We have to quit judging married men by their ability or inability to keep it in their pants. Women are looking for love in the wrong place. It's not in our crotch. We keep lust there. Only humans are dumb enough to place such importance on sexual monogamy. It's unnatural. It's emotionally crippling. It destroys families. And it's wreaked havoc on ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" set. Harold Reynolds and Steve Phillips were arguably my two favorite baseball analysts.

Let's redefine marriage by putting sex in its proper place. Reproduction should remain sacred between a married man and woman. Sex should be enjoyed between consenting, mature adults.

I say a moderately famous man earning between $250K and $500K a year should be allowed a mistress he can see weekly, one week-long, $8,000 vacation he can take with his mistress and five strip club nights with his boys a year. A moderately famous man earning between $500K and $1 million a year should be allowed a mistress he can see weekly and every other weekend, a 10-day, $15,000 vacation with his mistress, a $1,500-a-month, fully-furnished apartment for his mistress and seven strip club nights with his boys.

Any man earning more than $1 million a year should come and go as he damn well pleases."

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Rules of Bedroom Golf

I found this list of "rules" on the Tall Cool Drink of Water blog...truly hilarious!

The Rules of Bedroom Golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at tall times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owners is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

We Had a Miscarriage

Ever since I was a teenager, I have looked forward to the day I would be a father myself. As a younger man, that desire had a lot to do with not repeating the same mistakes raising my own child(ren) that my father made. As I got older, it became more about passing on all the love I have to give, and the knowledge, experience, and wisdom I have gained in my 30 years (so far) on this planet...and of course, I'd still like to avoid the mistakes of past generations.

From a purely selfish perspective, I always wanted to wait a few years and enjoy my new marriage before having kids. However, Althea is a few years older than me, and is already a statistical outlier for a healthy pregnancy, so we had to start trying to get pregnant right after the wedding.

Given those desires, I was so happy when Althea told me she had a positive pregnancy test a couple of weeks ago. When we went to her OB/GYN appointment, the doctor told us her hormone levels were low and that she couldn't see much on the ultrasound, which was a cause for concern, so we made an appointment to come back in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, we never made that appointment. Over the weekend, Althea started to have bleeding and severe stomach cramps, neither of which are supposed to happen when a woman is pregnant. Althea has one of the highest tolerances for pain of anyone I have ever known, so I knew that it was time to go to the hospital when she was curled up in the fetal position in our bedroom and unable to move.

We called her OB/GYN doctor, and she was so great, helping us even though it was the weekend. She called ahead and cleared the way for Althea to be admitted to the hospital as soon as we got there. We got to the hospital, and Althea got some pain medicine, but the bleeding didn't stop. We stayed the night at the hospital, and Althea was discharged the next day. At her next OB/GYN appointment a couple of days later, the doctor confirmed what we already knew...Althea had a miscarriage. One the one hand, I am glad she wasn't farther along in the pregnancy (i.e., long enough to know the sex, pick out a name, see the baby's features, etc.). On the other hand, it doesn't make me (or us) any less sad. I'm not sure why this happened...the doctor says miscarriages often happen when there will be major problems that might injure, deform, or kill the baby-to-be. I prefer to think that maybe God just needed our baby up in heaven with Him and the angels more than we needed him or her down here.

Regardless of the reason, all we can do is grieve, pray, heal, and try again when the doctor says we can. In the meantime, we will give thanks to God for allowing us to contribute one more beautiful soul to heaven. Even if we didn't get to meet this child here in this life, we will get to meet him or her one day in heaven, and I can't wait.