This list includes a lot of the same stuff as everyone else's, but it's mine, and I have a story to tell too. My family, though few in number, very much flawed and human, and far too rarely seen...I love them, my brother and 5 year old nephew and my Dad especially. I will leave this morning for Alabama with Dad to go see his older brother (an uncle I haven't seen in a couple of years) and maybe some cousins I haven't seen since we were kids...should be interesting.
As for my friends...wow, what can I say other than you guys rock and I love each and every one of you. Our professional/adult lives have definitely put us farther apart in geography than I would like, but I still wouldn't trade you for anything. You're there for me when no one else is, and my life wouldn't be the same without you...it is my honor to call such good people my friends, and I pray they do and would say the same for me. Watching the physical maladies of quite a few people around me, as I get older, I become more thankful every year for my health. I might get sick twice a year when the weather changes and the occasional bout of food poisoning, but that's really about it. Perhaps most of all though I am thankful for my spiritual revival in this past year...it hasn't been easy, and it has cost me some things, but it has been worth it. It's allowed me to see more good in people, to give the credit to God he is so richly due, and it has allowed me to grow up a lot and see the big picture of my life in a way I never thought possible. Lord, it's your show, we just live and play here, and for all of this, thank you.
Another thing I am thankful for is my job, in spite of the craziness and personal ethics dilemmas it sometimes inspires. I have always struggled financially, and this goes back at least 3 generations in my family. If I have anything to say about it, that struggle ends here, with me. Although slower than I would like, my current job has allowed me to make some solid financial progress (I just wish that made my credit score go up faster, lol). Being an Asst. Public Defender is not all sunshine and happiness though, that is for sure. Frankly, most of my clients are guilty as sin, they will tell me so, and it really comes down to what kind of deal I can get them. Worse yet, over half of them are what I refer to as lifers, career offenders who aren't going to quit breaking the law or appreciate my efforts on their behalf, no matter what I do for them. There are some times though, where the job itself brings some non-monetary benefits, I am thankful for that, and that's the topic of my story today.
On Tuesday at arraignments, I was appointed to represent a young woman with a post-Thanksgiving court date. I had a bit of time to talk with her about her case before my cases for the morning were called, and it was just a heartbreaking story. She was originally in court on minor driving charges, offenses that carried fines, no jail time, and at worst, a temporary driver's license suspension. Now, because she twice failed to appear in court (the second of those being a felony), she was looking at as much as three YEARS in jail if she received the maximum sentence.
This young woman was 20 years old, orginally born several states away, and had temporarily come to TN for a fresh start after a horrific childhood. Before her 18th birthday, this girl had been raped, beaten, and abused drugs. She had also been to drug rehab and to a psychiatrist for self-mutilation issues. She had begun to get her life together when her driver's license problems began earlier this year, but things fell apart in a hurry. She became engaged to a man who is on felony probation, missed court the first time because she overslept, and missed it the second time because her best friend was killed in a car accident. Oh, and as for how she got arrested...? Someone broke into her apartment, breaking down her entire living room wall to do so, and stole everything she owned. When she filed a police report, the police ran her name through the computer and found her active warrants for missing court. She was arrested and had a $20,000 bail set because she was deemed a flight risk due to missing 2 court dates.
By the time I got to talk with her in private, she was a mess, sobbing uncontrollably. It was as if the events of her entire life were crashing down on her all at once, like she was finally getting an idea how bad things had gotten and could yet be. More than that, she looked every bit the kid she actually is rather than the hardened young woman she tried to portray herself as of late. In talking to her, I could tell that she was intelligent, not a serious criminal, trying very hard to improve her life, and that she had potential. As a matter of fact, she reminded me of a female version of my brother (before he became a father to my nephew and turned his life around in a major way, and he's now doing great)...so my heart definitely went out to her.
After speaking with the D.A. and telling her all the circumstances, I secured her a plea agreement on misdemeanor charges only, and a sentence of only a few days in jail and the rest of a year on unsupervised probation...not bad for someone facing 3 years if I say so myself. Although my client was scared of staying in jail for any amount of time and missing her fiancee' terribly, she was appreciative of me and thanked me for my time and efforts. God laid it on my heart to do so, so I stuck around a little longer than I normally do with my clients...I told her about some of my personal struggles, things that had happened in my family, and how, despite hard times, we managed to make it through OK thanks to God's grace. By the time we were done speaking, she seemed to have calmed down a bit, and I promised her I would call her mom (who still lived several states away, where my client was born) and her fiancee'.
Since court ran a little long that afternoon, I stopped to call her mother from a gas station on my drive home to see my family. My conversation (where I learned most of the details about my client's past from earlier this post) with my client's mother lasted for almost an hour, and it was some of the best cell phone time I've ever spent. I told her about her daughter's legal situation, the deal I had worked out for her, and even our shared Christian faith. I could hear her mom's voice cracking telling me about all the things her daughter had been through, her efforts to help as best she could, and her own personal pain at not being able to do more. She also told me repeatedly how grateful she was for my help, how thankful she was that someone like me had been appointed to help her daughter, and even that she had prayed for a Christian attorney to represent her baby once she learned of the legal problems. Moreover, she thanked me for taking time out of my life, my schedule, and my trip home to call her and to answer her questions.
I won't lie, I was more than a little choked up myself, but I managed to keep my composure while telling her that I was just doing my job, that I would continue helping her daughter with her legal issues as best I could, and that I would pray for her and the entire family that God would help things turn around for this young woman. I also told her that I was simply paying it forward and helping to build good karma...heaven forbid a son or daughter of mine might find themselves in a similar situation somewhere down the line (in trouble with the law, several states away, basically broke, and me unable to do anything immediate to help them), but if they did, I can only pray that my child would be appointed a competent, discerning attorney with a good heart who would do everything in his/her power to comfort them and help with their legal situation.
Let's be real people, these lifers I spoke about earlier, they don't have a chance and aren't going to be productive citizens no matter what I do. I do the best I can with what I have, providing them a competent and Constitutional defense consistent with the oath I swore as an attorney and my duty to my clients. Attorneys have a sacred trust and a mountain of responsibilities, but no matter what you've heard, most of us aren't heartless, money-grubbing parasites...we are just like everyone else, decent, hard-working people hoping our career is not just a job and a paycheck, but rather that our efforts make a difference in the lives of others and that we leave the world and the people in it better than we found them.
That said, any lawyer will tell you that it's times like this, the story I just told, that make practicing law worthwhile. Being able to help this young lady, to stand up and advocate for her, to comfort her mother, and maybe even to help her pull her life out of this death spiral before it's too late...but even more than that, to be sincerely appreciated and thanked for it, well, it's a feeling I can't describe. It isn't enough to make me forget about the lifers or to practice this type of law forever, but this has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my young legal career. So, on this Thanksgiving Day, I thank God for all the wonderful things and people in my life, for the trust He has placed in me to do things as important as this, and for the path He yet has for me to walk. Life is good, and I'm excited to see what the Lord will do next...Happy Turkey Day to everyone, eat as much as you can and love even more than that!
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