The Proper Care and Feeding of Servers

A friend forwarded this to me, and I seriously think everyone should read it, and that goes double for anyone who has never waited tables before. I think if everyone had to wait tables for even a week or two, then the food service world would be a much more pleasant and patient place in which to do business and relax. I am totally sympathetic to all these tips and have added some notes of my own. Follow these rules and your server will love you...and unless you have that one in a billion uber-rude server who deserves whatever is coming to them, ignore these tips at your own peril.

If you're a Christian and you don't tip at least 15%, then shame on you! Did you know that Sundays are the worst days to wait tables, especially in the mornings, because the "after church rush" are some of the consistently worst tippers ever...how pathetic! It's OK if you gave all your money to Jesus, it really is, but if this is the case, then you should go home and eat a sandwich. Also, tip your car-hop at Sonic! Don't tell me she doesn't really do anything...oh yes she does! She brings your food to you no matter what the weather is like, she runs her butt off, she's answering the speaker, making ice cream, making sure you have extra ketchup, napkins, etc., and bagging orders! Don't tell me she isn't doing anything but bringing you your food!

Also, if your steak comes out cooked at the wrong temperature, the vegetables are cold, or something is wrong with your drink, more often than not, that isn't the server's fault. Unless it's very obvious that the server got your order wrong, don't take it out on them by docking their tip for something the kitchen, the bar staff, or even the computers might have been responsible for...give them the benefit of the doubt. Finally, if you know the place closes at 10 P.M., do NOT bring a party of 10 in at 9:57 and ask, "Hey you guys still open?" with a smile on your face. Servers, esp. the ones who are closing, will hate you for this because that means they have to go home another hour or so later...ditto for the kitchen guys. If you must eat out late, go someplace that's open 24 hours or somewhere you know the hours and can get there at least a few minutes before closing.

1. IF you can afford to go out to eat., but you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to go out to eat.

2. This is 2006...10% or less than $2 is not acceptable anymore. Standard tipping for AVERAGE service should be 15%, GOOD service is between 18 and 20%, and GREAT service should start at 25% and go up. If your service was bad enough that you feel compelled to tip less than 15%, discreetly find a manager and tell them why...most are very understanding and will try to help make you happy, because they want you to come back.

3. I understand that 10% is good enough for God. That's fine, but this isn't church.

4. If you wanted fast food, you should have gone through a drive-thru. If you order a well-done steak, your ticket time will be longer because it takes longer to cook a steak all the way through. If you order a filet well done, I will hand you a Slim Jim, mock and ridicule you without mercy, and eat the 30 dollar steak myself...you have been warned.

5. It's really not necessary to snap at me or wave your hand in the air like you're having a spasm or get up and follow me. I saw you, I acknowledged you, and you saw me acknowledge you. Hold on and sit down...I am coming, I promise.

6. When I take the time to be courteous and introduce myself, please don't be rude and cut me off...manners people!

7. I follow a strict rule that you should never reward bad service with a good tip; however, you should also never punish excellent service with a crappy tip because you're a cheap jerk or because of something that wasn't the server's fault.

8. Please don't take it out on me because you have had a bad day. I'm here to make it better, so relax.

9. When I deliver your food and ask if there is anything else, you can tell me. I asked. didn't I? Don't get all bent out of shape because I'm not psychic and cannot read your mind. How the heck am I supposed to know you needed A-1 unless you speak up?

10. I know sometimes you can't help it, but do you really have to ask for something every single time I walk past the table?! I mean really, Jessica Simpson is not even that high-maintenance.

11. Hi! Look around you, and notice that you are one of probably twenty people I am waiting on...so if you have to wait for a minute, be patient. I promise I will take care of you as soon as I possibly can.

12. Treating a server like a piece of crap and the scum of the earth because we are serving you is the quickest way to get the worst service you ever thought possible. We are people too and you are no better than me... I don't give a crap what you do.

13. Just think about it like this...your tip left on the table is how I pay my bills. I am making $2.13 an hour. No, I don't get a paycheck. After taxes and claiming tips, I'm lucky if I even see one. Remember that next time you decide to be cheap.

14. Servers are usually serving to get through college and will probably one day have a better job than the jerk that thinks she's better than you...it's not a career.

15. Last but certainly not least... Don't assume that my job is easier than yours and I am some dumbsh*t who can't get a better job. The restaurant business is a fast-paced environment with a high stress level, and you don't even see all the things we do behind the scenes. So have some respect. I don't come to your office and treat you like sh*t for sitting on your a$$ all day do I?! No. I don't.

16. Most people do not know that we pay taxes based upon what we claim to make. News flash: we have to claim at least about 10% of our sales. What this means is if you are one of the scum of the earth that doesn't tip, I just paid taxes on your meal that I worked to serve you. This means I just paid to serve you. Better yet, if you walk out on your tab, chances are I just paid for your meal! Karma people...Karma!