I Have a Gift, in a Manner of Speaking...

In the movie, "You've Got Mail", Tom Hanks says to Meg Ryan, "I have this gift of being able to say the exact thing I mean to say at the exact moment I mean to say it. It's inevitably followed up by an overwhelming sense of guilt afterwards." I have this so-called gift, and it serves me well at times. For example, when some idiot starts talking smack, this puts me in the 99th percentile of being able to regulate on such a fool and put him/her in the appropriate place...or when one of my clients verbally abuses me for not making his charges disappear after telling me he did EXACTLY what he was accused of.

On the other hand, it sometimes comes back to bite me when it comes to romantic relationships and people I care about. The reason this happens is because I haven't quite located the off switch for this ability just yet. The bluntness and honesty of my words sometimes carry more sting than I mean for them to, and even when I am simply trying to present my point of view and let the other person know where I am coming from, I sometimes zing the person I am talking to without even meaning to. And as bad as that zinging might feel, what I can't seem to get across is that I am not trying to do this...that if it were my intention to hurt them deeply, knowing these folks as well as I do, well, let's just say that would be a very easy thing to make happen.

On top of a lost off switch, my gift comes with an extra added bonus feature of impeccably poor timing. These zingers seem to pop up at the most inappropriate moments, times when I should be making a conscious effort to consider the person's feelings and be easy with them. I can always seem to write out what I mean to say here better than I can communicate it in real time and real life...don't know what that says about me except that my relationship skills sometimes jive better with the screen of an idiot box rather than people, lol...not good. All that said, I just hope the people I care for most in the world can accept my apologies, freely grant forgiveness even though I don't deserve it, and love me anyway in spite of it all when this "gift" makes its appearances. Even if they don't know it yet, it will be worth their while...I will see to it ;).