This Goes Out to Everyone Who Takes Religion a Liiitle Too Seriously

I am a Christian, and I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at this story...from the archives of one of my favorite "just for fun/life" blogs, Robservations:

"Today well, something both interesting and funny happened. Did you know that there are Jehovah's witnesses in Germany? Well I didn't. Those annoying, yet persistent rat bastards that have survived many an attempt at humiliation standing outside my front door are here as well. They're the religious/pseudo-human equivalent of cockroaches. If there is a nuclear war (thanks Israel...asses) the only people left will be Jehovah's witnesses with their white shirts, black ties, and bicycles. ...

Anyway, I was resting from an especially hard run this morning on a small bench in what is usually a very quiet and tranquil spot of the park. By 6am the sun has typically risen in this part of Germany, but it is a slow rise and combined with the high clouds, the colors and breezes produced are like a defibrillator for the soul. I had just begun to catch my breath, eyes closed, listening to the park's birds waking up from their slumber and communicating where the tastiest meals of the morning are located when all of this beauty and tranquility was shattered. A rather heavy-set young man was standing in front of me holding a flyer and a Bible.

Witness: (in German) My name is Heinrich. I would love to tell you some wonderful news!

Me: (in German as well) I'm sorry. I don't speak German.

Looking puzzled, young Heinrich continued in English.

Heinrich: I'd like to give you my story of how I found happiness and fulfillment!

Me: Sure, I'll listen if youll change clothes with me.

Heinrich: I'm sorry, I do not understand.

Me: Change clothes with me. I've been running from the police and I need a change of clothes.

Heinrich: The police?!? What did you do?

Me: I beat the sh*t out of a guy on the other side of the park. The police saw me and came chasing after me so I ducked through the middle of the park and I think I lost them.

Heinrich: (eyeing me suspiciously) Why would you do such a thing?

Me: Ehh this guy approached me and started babbling on about God and salvation something about finding peace with Jehovah or some other such nonsense. (looking a little wilder) The guy just wouldn't SHUT UP! Man, I think I hurt my leg kicking him!

(a long pause)

Me: So you wanted to tell me some good news?

Heinrich: No sir, I'm afraid I was mistaken, have a good day!

At this point he started walking away and as I got up to follow him yelling "...but, but the good news!", he took off in a fat-man sprint down the sidewalk running alongside the park."