Where Do I Sign Up for THIS Ambassador Job?

Courtesy of The Zero Boss and The U.K. Daily Mail comes a hysterical report of ambassadorial shenanigans by an Israeli ambassador. Apparently not to be outdone by his prior counterpart from 2000 who died of cardiac arrrest while engaged in extramarital relations with a woman who wasn't his wife, this guy takes the first prize for stupidity and depravity in acts engaged in during the course of "official duties". All emphasis below is mine, I haven't stopped laughing yet, and be sure to read the commentary of The Zero Boss (which I endorse wholeheartedly because my mind works much like his)...but if this is what ambassadors get to do for a living, I want to know where I sign up to get that job (without the idiocy of getting caught of course).

The Zero Boss

"God, how I love people. And this story does nothing but cement my lust affair with the ever-evolving concoction of crazy that is the human species. Tsuriel Raphael, the Israeli ambassador to El Salvador, had to be recalled because he engaged in “conduct unbecoming of a diplomat.” And here I thought that all ambassadors liked to get drunk, bound and gagged, and then summarily dumped on the front lawn of their official residence, surrounded by a passel of sex toys.

Apparently, “diplomatic immunity” only earns you so long a leash.

See, now I’m dying for the rest of the story. Who was he with? What went down that night? Was it all a setup? How many of the sex toys had actually been used? (I don’t envy the forensics team assigned to this one…) At what point in the evening did things go from “let’s all have a wild and crazy time together” to Raphael’s acquaintances deciding, “Now let’s really fuck up his life”? Was this terrorism - an assault against the Jewish state? Was Osama bin Laden involved?

How I only wish. I’d love for nothing better than for Islamic extremists to set aside their exploding shoes and suicide belts, and wage war against Israel using ball gags and dildos instead. As for Tsuriel Raphael: Sir, you are my kind of people. Just do yourself a favor, and choose your friends more wisely in the future."

The Daily Mail

"Israel has recalled its ambassador in El Salvador after he was found drunk, gagged and naked with sex toys lying nearby in the yard of his official residence.

A foreign ministry spokeswoman confirmed that the ambassador, Tsuriel Raphael, was recalled but offered no details. "The ministry sees his behaviour as unbecoming of a diplomat," said Zehavit Ben-Hillel.

Israeli media reported that local police found Raphael in the yard of the official residence in San Salvador. The reports said he was drunk, naked, and bound and gagged with a rubber ball in his mouth and sex toys lying near him.

The foreign ministry spokeswoman said the incident took place two weeks ago. "As soon as the episode was brought to attention of the foreign ministry it reacted and the ambassador was recalled to Israel. He is going to remain in Israel."

The embarrassing affair was one of several involving Israeli diplomats in recent years. In 2000, Israel's ambassador to France died of cardiac arrest in a Paris hotel under circumstances the Foreign Ministry refused to publicise. Reports said he was with a woman who was not his wife.

Last year, Israel replaced its ambassador to Australia, Naftali Tamir, after he said Israel and Australia were "like sisters" because both are in Asia and their peoples do not have the Asian characteristics of "yellow skin and slanted eyes".