One of my presents to Althea this year for Valentine's Day was a pair of tickets for us to see Chris Daughtry and Lifehouse live in concert at Bridgestone Arena in Nashville. Before the concert, I took Althea to dinner at Toyama (our favorite Japanese hibachi restaurant), and dinner was just as good there as it is every other time we eat there. The concert was earlier tonight, and here is my review.
The opening band (whose name escapes me) was a rock-ish sort of band, and as opening acts go, they weren't that bad. Still, the fact that I can't remember their name can't be a good thing. Lifehouse was up next, and they were fabulous as always. They are perhaps my favorite overall band of all time, and Althea likes them too, one of the few musical acts for which we both share an affinity. They played about 8 songs, including their biggest hits ("First Time", "Whatever it Takes", Hanging by a Moment"). I really hope (and have heard) that Lifehouse will be headlining a tour later this year and that they will come to Nashville. For reasons I don't know or understand, Lifehouse hasn't played Nashville as a headliner in quite some time (if ever). I saw them play in Knoxville a couple of years ago and earlier tonight as an opening act, but that's pretty much it.
Chris Daughtry was the main act of the evening, and his overall performance was pretty good. The only real issue I had with his performance is that Chris has a bad habit of taking his mouth too far away from the microphone on big notes. My guess is that this tendency is an unfortunate side effect from his American Idol days. On the show, if he kept his mouth close to the microphone, it would sound too much like a scream and sometimes the microphone would screech out feedback on the big notes. That's too bad because he's one of the few rock artists who can actually sing well enough to hit the loud notes with the correct pitch in the proper key.
Since Daughtry hasn't been a big hit or a headliner for very long, he pretty much had to play all his hit songs. I am sure that if I were a bigger fan and/or had listened to each CD of his in its entirety, I would have been more into the show all night. Even so, my favorite song of his ("No Surprise") was a big hit with the crowd, and I enjoyed it immensely right along with them. Perhaps just as (or even more) noteworthy as the performance quality of Chris's songs was the quality of Chris's special guests and cover songs. Chris did a better than serviceable, mostly acoustic rendition of "In the Air Tonight", by Phil Collins, and the accompanying light show was neat to watch. He also performed a cover of "Whipping Post" (originally by The Allman Brothers) as a duet with Brad, the lead singer from Three Doors Down. Although the song itself isn't something I was inspired to run out and buy or listen to, Brad stole the show with his performance of his part of the song. Listening to the relatively vapid and shallow lyrics of the recent work of Three Doors Down, I hadn't really heard anything to indicate any real vocal skill on the part of their lead single. However, Brad's performance of "Whipping Post" was outstanding, showing excellent range, great passion, and good stage presence...I was pleasantly surprised.
For me though, the biggest hit of the show was Chris Daughtry's band-less, acoustic duet with Kelly Clarkson. Both Kelly and Chris said that "Fast Car", by Tracy Chapman, was and is one of their favorite songs of all time. I like the song it very much too, and I was initially concerned that they would mangle it. Fortunately, my concern was misplaced, as both Chris and Kelly turned in stellar performances. Chris played the acoustic guitar and sang his part well, and Kelly sang even better than him. Kelly Clarkson seems like a genuinely real and good person in real life, which makes her success easy to root for. That said, I believe she is at her best when she does slower songs and power ballads. She has the vocal chops for the faster, more pop-heavy songs, but for whatever reason, the emotion doesn't really come through her in those kind of songs, so they come over as somewhat forced and unenjoyable (for her and, in turn, for her fans). Her portion of this performance was striking in its quality, and the feeling with which she sang bordered on hauntingly believable, as if she had experienced the story of the song herself...really a good showing for Kelly.
On the whole, this was an enjoyable show worth the price of admission, and I'm glad I went, but I don't think I would go to see another Daughtry-headlined show again.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Vickie Jones, R.I.P.
My parents divorced when I was 6 years old, and from birth until about my 11th birthday, my brother, my father, and I moved around to several different cities in different states. We eventually settled in Lewisburg, Tennessee, a small town about 45 minutes south of Nashville and 25 minutes north of the Alabama/Tennessee state line. Shortly after we got to Lewisburg, my dad started dating a woman about 9 years his junior named Vickie Jones. After about 6 weeks of dating, Vickie moved into our house and never left. My brother and I didn't agree with it at the time, and we weren't asked, but it happened anyway. My Dad and Vickie never officially tied the knot and got married, mostly because Vickie's state-provided medical insurance and other government benefits would have been cut off if they had. Whether my brother and I liked it or not, we had a stepmother in substance if not in fact.
Vickie had a hard life and a hard childhood before she met my dad, but she was basically a good woman with a big heart. I certainly didn't always agree with Vickie, and I had my share of issues with her, but she contributed financially to raising my brother and I, she put up with my biological mother's shenanigans, and she did love my dad and put up with him for the better part of 2 decades, which should qualify her for some sort of sainthood. Also, as I have gotten older, I have learned (for the most part) not to speculate on what goes on between a man and a woman or why 2 people love each other. The fact that she and my father said they loved each other and stayed together all those years was good enough for me.
Unfortunately, Vickie was sick for a very long time. She suffered from a laundry list of ailments, including heart, lung, and breathing problems, and she got progressively sicker over the past 4 years. For the last couple of years, she required in-home care, at-home breathing treatments, and multiple hospital stays. Vickie was admitted to the hospital a couple of weeks ago, and my Dad thought she would come out of the hospital this time just like the other half-dozen times before, until she took a turn for the worse on Monday. The doctors told my Dad she wasn't expected to make it, and her health deteriorated rapidly over the next 24 hours. Vickie passed away with her family and friends at her side just before 2:00 P.M. on Wednesday, February 17, 2010. She was 46 years old.
I spent the next few days helping my dad through the fog that comes with losing a life partner. I set up the arrangements for Vickie's cremation and memorial service, helped Dad with some legal issues surrounding Vickie's will, and made sure that Vickie's crazy, white trash family didn't act a fool at the hospital or the memorial service. I was so glad to be able to be with and there for my dad when he needed me. Even so, it was surreal because I saw and heard my father cry more in the last week than I did during my entire childhood.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention how great and understanding my job was about allowing me to leave work and take bereavement leave to be with my family. Also, Dad's co-workers at Federal Express were wonderful. They came to the hospital, sent flowers, and turned out en masse for Vickie's memorial service. It was also great to see my Uncle Dave (my dad's older brother) and my cousins Van and Valerie (my Uncle Dave's kids, who are close to my age). I hope that we are able to see more of each other in the future.
As for Vickie, I was able to talk with her in the hospital the last time she was in the hospital before she died. She told me that she was saved, that she had accepted the Lord as her savior, and that she knew she was going to heaven. Where someone spends eternity is far and away the most important of any of the things I have discussed here, and it is the most important decision of anyone's life. In the hospital, a few minutes before she died, I read Psalm 23 to her, and I like to think that maybe it helped calm her down and kept her from being scared about dying. Our flesh clings to life because we don't know what the great beyond of this life holds for us. I am glad that Vickie is at rest and that she isn't suffering anymore, and she died surrounded by the people who cared about her the most. We should all be so lucky. To Vickie, I would say thank you for helping to raise me, thank you for loving my father, and enjoy heaven until we get there...we will see you again someday.
Vickie had a hard life and a hard childhood before she met my dad, but she was basically a good woman with a big heart. I certainly didn't always agree with Vickie, and I had my share of issues with her, but she contributed financially to raising my brother and I, she put up with my biological mother's shenanigans, and she did love my dad and put up with him for the better part of 2 decades, which should qualify her for some sort of sainthood. Also, as I have gotten older, I have learned (for the most part) not to speculate on what goes on between a man and a woman or why 2 people love each other. The fact that she and my father said they loved each other and stayed together all those years was good enough for me.
Unfortunately, Vickie was sick for a very long time. She suffered from a laundry list of ailments, including heart, lung, and breathing problems, and she got progressively sicker over the past 4 years. For the last couple of years, she required in-home care, at-home breathing treatments, and multiple hospital stays. Vickie was admitted to the hospital a couple of weeks ago, and my Dad thought she would come out of the hospital this time just like the other half-dozen times before, until she took a turn for the worse on Monday. The doctors told my Dad she wasn't expected to make it, and her health deteriorated rapidly over the next 24 hours. Vickie passed away with her family and friends at her side just before 2:00 P.M. on Wednesday, February 17, 2010. She was 46 years old.
I spent the next few days helping my dad through the fog that comes with losing a life partner. I set up the arrangements for Vickie's cremation and memorial service, helped Dad with some legal issues surrounding Vickie's will, and made sure that Vickie's crazy, white trash family didn't act a fool at the hospital or the memorial service. I was so glad to be able to be with and there for my dad when he needed me. Even so, it was surreal because I saw and heard my father cry more in the last week than I did during my entire childhood.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention how great and understanding my job was about allowing me to leave work and take bereavement leave to be with my family. Also, Dad's co-workers at Federal Express were wonderful. They came to the hospital, sent flowers, and turned out en masse for Vickie's memorial service. It was also great to see my Uncle Dave (my dad's older brother) and my cousins Van and Valerie (my Uncle Dave's kids, who are close to my age). I hope that we are able to see more of each other in the future.
As for Vickie, I was able to talk with her in the hospital the last time she was in the hospital before she died. She told me that she was saved, that she had accepted the Lord as her savior, and that she knew she was going to heaven. Where someone spends eternity is far and away the most important of any of the things I have discussed here, and it is the most important decision of anyone's life. In the hospital, a few minutes before she died, I read Psalm 23 to her, and I like to think that maybe it helped calm her down and kept her from being scared about dying. Our flesh clings to life because we don't know what the great beyond of this life holds for us. I am glad that Vickie is at rest and that she isn't suffering anymore, and she died surrounded by the people who cared about her the most. We should all be so lucky. To Vickie, I would say thank you for helping to raise me, thank you for loving my father, and enjoy heaven until we get there...we will see you again someday.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Individual 2010 New Year's Goals
Too many people these days get married and lose any sense of self and individuality, which I don't think is healthy. So, even though the wife and I have our own joint goals for 2010, I have a couple of individual goals of my own that I intend to complete. My experience has taught me that, the more measurable and simple the goal is, the more likely I am to achieve it. With that in mind, here are my individual goals for 2010:
1.) Over the course of my engagement, honeymoon, and first year of marriage, I put on some unwanted pounds that were the complete opposite of muscle and which were located in the worst possible place (stomach). At one point, I was up to 252 pounds, which is a couple of pounds more than I weighed while I was playing college football, only the distribution of weight was all wrong and didn't look nearly as nice. During my 8+ months of unemployment, I began to limit my calorie intake and really step up my workouts, and I managed to lose a total of 22 pounds, getting down to 230. 230 is much more manageable, and helped some of my clothes to fit better, but it isn't where I want to be weight-wise for the long term. Eventually, I would like to be down under 200 pounds (185-195 would be ideal). Taking into consideration that I don't have a celebrity trainer, and that I have to live in the real world, I want to set a goal that will make real progress toward my target weight, but which won't be so unreasonable that I throw up my hands and quit in disgust (which has happened before).
My minimum weight loss goal is 15 pounds for the year (slightly over 1 pound per month), which would put me at 215 pounds. That said, I would be thrilled to make it to 210 or lower.
2.) I intend to pay off all of my small debts (5 debts, all $ 2,500.00 and lower) by the end of this year, but preferably no later than June or July. Other than money that goes to vacations and recurring bills, after the smaller debts (approximately $ 5,500.00 total) are paid off, the money I was using to pay off those debts will then be directed toward my larger debts.
3.) From time to time, I look at my full bookshelves of all the books I have read and just shake my head. I know most of what I read is stored someplace deep in my brain, but sometimes I can't bring what I have read immediately to mind, especially if it has been a while since I read the book I am trying to remember. Obviously, I can't spend my entire life reading the same books over and over if I expect to learn anything new.
Therefore, going forward, I have decided to write brief summaries of all the books I read. That way, I can pull up the summary I wrote back when I read the book, read it, and hopefully jog my memory as to most of the details of the book in question. Additionally, my book reading goal for this year is to average one book per week, which would be at least 52 books for the year.
If I can complete these goals (and then some), I think this is going to be a great year...so, Happy New Year to all, and I wish you great success on your own goals in the first year of the new decade!
1.) Over the course of my engagement, honeymoon, and first year of marriage, I put on some unwanted pounds that were the complete opposite of muscle and which were located in the worst possible place (stomach). At one point, I was up to 252 pounds, which is a couple of pounds more than I weighed while I was playing college football, only the distribution of weight was all wrong and didn't look nearly as nice. During my 8+ months of unemployment, I began to limit my calorie intake and really step up my workouts, and I managed to lose a total of 22 pounds, getting down to 230. 230 is much more manageable, and helped some of my clothes to fit better, but it isn't where I want to be weight-wise for the long term. Eventually, I would like to be down under 200 pounds (185-195 would be ideal). Taking into consideration that I don't have a celebrity trainer, and that I have to live in the real world, I want to set a goal that will make real progress toward my target weight, but which won't be so unreasonable that I throw up my hands and quit in disgust (which has happened before).
My minimum weight loss goal is 15 pounds for the year (slightly over 1 pound per month), which would put me at 215 pounds. That said, I would be thrilled to make it to 210 or lower.
2.) I intend to pay off all of my small debts (5 debts, all $ 2,500.00 and lower) by the end of this year, but preferably no later than June or July. Other than money that goes to vacations and recurring bills, after the smaller debts (approximately $ 5,500.00 total) are paid off, the money I was using to pay off those debts will then be directed toward my larger debts.
3.) From time to time, I look at my full bookshelves of all the books I have read and just shake my head. I know most of what I read is stored someplace deep in my brain, but sometimes I can't bring what I have read immediately to mind, especially if it has been a while since I read the book I am trying to remember. Obviously, I can't spend my entire life reading the same books over and over if I expect to learn anything new.
Therefore, going forward, I have decided to write brief summaries of all the books I read. That way, I can pull up the summary I wrote back when I read the book, read it, and hopefully jog my memory as to most of the details of the book in question. Additionally, my book reading goal for this year is to average one book per week, which would be at least 52 books for the year.
If I can complete these goals (and then some), I think this is going to be a great year...so, Happy New Year to all, and I wish you great success on your own goals in the first year of the new decade!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
2009 Year in Review
Pre-2009 Overview:
Coming into 2009, my marriage was about 3 months old, and I had a good-paying job that I'd been working for over a year and a half, and I was beginning to make some progress in getting some of my smaller bills paid off.
The 2009 Bad News:
Unfortunately (in most ways), I lost my job only a few weeks into the year, which set back almost all of the financial progress I made and put so much stress on my marriage that I sometimes wondered whether it would survive. There were times I felt like I was a broke student again, living on $ 20 for a full 2 weeks, eating off the dollar menu at fast-food places, and questioning my progress in life and place in this world.
The 2009 Good News:
Thankfully, as He has always done, God helped me to survive and brought me through the other side as a smarter man into a better place than I could have imagined when times were at their worst. Despite the hardships, I trust God with my life more now than I ever have before. No matter how bad things get, He proves time and again that He will never put more on me than I can bear, and that he will never let me slip over the edge into such a bad place that he can never bring me back.
I've been at my new job about 6 weeks now, and I like it pretty well. My co-workers and bosses are great, the work I am doing is tough but interesting, and I think my career and finances are back on track. I am extremely grateful that my marriage survived the beating it took in its first year, and even though there is work yet to be done, the survival of my marriage through such tough times gives me hope for a better marital future.
2009 Conclusion:
2009 was definitely an interesting and eventful year, but all things being equal, I am glad it's in the books, and I am hopeful that 2010 will be much, much better.
Coming into 2009, my marriage was about 3 months old, and I had a good-paying job that I'd been working for over a year and a half, and I was beginning to make some progress in getting some of my smaller bills paid off.
The 2009 Bad News:
Unfortunately (in most ways), I lost my job only a few weeks into the year, which set back almost all of the financial progress I made and put so much stress on my marriage that I sometimes wondered whether it would survive. There were times I felt like I was a broke student again, living on $ 20 for a full 2 weeks, eating off the dollar menu at fast-food places, and questioning my progress in life and place in this world.
The 2009 Good News:
Thankfully, as He has always done, God helped me to survive and brought me through the other side as a smarter man into a better place than I could have imagined when times were at their worst. Despite the hardships, I trust God with my life more now than I ever have before. No matter how bad things get, He proves time and again that He will never put more on me than I can bear, and that he will never let me slip over the edge into such a bad place that he can never bring me back.
I've been at my new job about 6 weeks now, and I like it pretty well. My co-workers and bosses are great, the work I am doing is tough but interesting, and I think my career and finances are back on track. I am extremely grateful that my marriage survived the beating it took in its first year, and even though there is work yet to be done, the survival of my marriage through such tough times gives me hope for a better marital future.
2009 Conclusion:
2009 was definitely an interesting and eventful year, but all things being equal, I am glad it's in the books, and I am hopeful that 2010 will be much, much better.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Back to Work Full-Time and Loving It
I have been employed full-time pretty much my entire adult life, even through college and law school. The last time I had a full-time attorney job was in early March of this year, now over 8 months ago.
That is the longest period of time I have ever been without a full-time job in my entire life, and it sucked more than I can possibly put into words. There are so many things I took for granted up until recently, mainly having money of my own, being able to afford a few luxuries in life, working as a professional, and most importantly, being able to pay my bills. These things sound so small, right up until the minute they are taken away.
I was able to find part-time work as a softball umpire and flag football referee, which I sincerely enjoyed. The job paid better than most menial labor positions, and it did make a dent in my bills. However, the truth is that I would not have been able to pay my bills without the financial support from my family and friends, and I would have been homeless or living with my Dad if it weren't for my wife. I have already told my family and friends how much I appreciate their help during this difficult time, but I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to express how truly wonderful my wife was over these last 8+ months. We had some disagreements about money, but she never once failed to help me when it was absolutely necessary. Althea, no matter what happens in the future, I will never forget how supportive you were when I needed you the most, so thank you, and I love you.
As you may have guessed by now, after putting out more than 250 application packages for jobs from Hawaii to Italy, I am blessed to be back working full-time at a job in downtown Nashville. My starting salary is about 10% less than I was making back in March, but I think that is a fair trade given the increased quality of life, good bosses, seemingly cool co-workers, and potential for advancement that comes with this position. Also, this job is actually closer to home than my last job, a nice little bonus. Today was my first day back to work, and it felt great being back at work as an attorney again. I have to give a big shout out to Terrance for getting me the interview that led to this job...brother, if you need my last can of pork and beans, you need only to ask. :) Although I know I have a lot to learn working in an area of the law I don't know much about (yet), I am eager to learn and willing to work hard, and that should serve me well. As an aside, I bear no ill will toward my last employer...they gave me a great opportunity and paid me fairly for my hard work, it was simply time for both of us to move on.
I haven't always done the best job handling money, but that is something upon which I sincerely intend to improve this time around, especially when it comes to rendering unto God what is rightfully His. When I was unemployed, I made a promise to God that, if he put me back to work, I would be faithful in my tithing, and that is something I have never done before. I truly believe that God keeps His word, so I look forward with interest to see what God will do when I am faithful with my finances. Lord, thank you for putting me back to work. I promise to work as hard as I can, and to do my work with integrity in a manner befitting your kingdom and showing appreciation for your blessings.
That is the longest period of time I have ever been without a full-time job in my entire life, and it sucked more than I can possibly put into words. There are so many things I took for granted up until recently, mainly having money of my own, being able to afford a few luxuries in life, working as a professional, and most importantly, being able to pay my bills. These things sound so small, right up until the minute they are taken away.
I was able to find part-time work as a softball umpire and flag football referee, which I sincerely enjoyed. The job paid better than most menial labor positions, and it did make a dent in my bills. However, the truth is that I would not have been able to pay my bills without the financial support from my family and friends, and I would have been homeless or living with my Dad if it weren't for my wife. I have already told my family and friends how much I appreciate their help during this difficult time, but I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to express how truly wonderful my wife was over these last 8+ months. We had some disagreements about money, but she never once failed to help me when it was absolutely necessary. Althea, no matter what happens in the future, I will never forget how supportive you were when I needed you the most, so thank you, and I love you.
As you may have guessed by now, after putting out more than 250 application packages for jobs from Hawaii to Italy, I am blessed to be back working full-time at a job in downtown Nashville. My starting salary is about 10% less than I was making back in March, but I think that is a fair trade given the increased quality of life, good bosses, seemingly cool co-workers, and potential for advancement that comes with this position. Also, this job is actually closer to home than my last job, a nice little bonus. Today was my first day back to work, and it felt great being back at work as an attorney again. I have to give a big shout out to Terrance for getting me the interview that led to this job...brother, if you need my last can of pork and beans, you need only to ask. :) Although I know I have a lot to learn working in an area of the law I don't know much about (yet), I am eager to learn and willing to work hard, and that should serve me well. As an aside, I bear no ill will toward my last employer...they gave me a great opportunity and paid me fairly for my hard work, it was simply time for both of us to move on.
I haven't always done the best job handling money, but that is something upon which I sincerely intend to improve this time around, especially when it comes to rendering unto God what is rightfully His. When I was unemployed, I made a promise to God that, if he put me back to work, I would be faithful in my tithing, and that is something I have never done before. I truly believe that God keeps His word, so I look forward with interest to see what God will do when I am faithful with my finances. Lord, thank you for putting me back to work. I promise to work as hard as I can, and to do my work with integrity in a manner befitting your kingdom and showing appreciation for your blessings.
Friday, October 30, 2009
The Job Search is 99.9% Over
I've been unemployed or employed only part-time since March of this year. After nearly 8 months, I finally got a call today offering me a job. The reason I say the search is 99.9% over is because my future boss told me the interview process is over, that he had checked my references, and that he would like me to come and work in his department.
He told me that he still has to get my final salary number, and thus my final hiring approval, from the Personnel Department. As soon as the has that, I will get a start date, an office, and a firm salary figure. At that time, and not before, the search will be 100% over. I had a celebratory dinner at home with the wife tonight, but we will do something bigger and nicer to celebrate after I start my job and get my first paycheck.
I can't wait to get back to work, and a post full celebration of new job/reflection on my time between jobs will be coming in the very near future. But for now, today was a really good day, and it was a long time coming. Thank you Lord, for everything.
He told me that he still has to get my final salary number, and thus my final hiring approval, from the Personnel Department. As soon as the has that, I will get a start date, an office, and a firm salary figure. At that time, and not before, the search will be 100% over. I had a celebratory dinner at home with the wife tonight, but we will do something bigger and nicer to celebrate after I start my job and get my first paycheck.
I can't wait to get back to work, and a post full celebration of new job/reflection on my time between jobs will be coming in the very near future. But for now, today was a really good day, and it was a long time coming. Thank you Lord, for everything.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Jason Whitlock on Changing the Rules about Strange Tang
His recent attacks on Rush Limbaugh based on "quotes" that Limbaugh never actually said, FOXSports.com's Jason Whitlock is one of my favorite columnists about contemporary issues that have to do with sports and athletes. His columns are so interesting because they almost always have a new, unique angle or perspective that you will never hear from the mainstream media. Whether Whitlock himself personally holds these beliefs is irrelevant, because the job of a writer is to write interesting things that people will read with enthusiasm, and putting conventional wisdom down on paper won't get you there very often.
Most recently, ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips was fired from ESPN for his extramarital affair with a woman half his age. His mistress flipped out when he tried to end the affair, contacted his wife, and even tried to mess with his kids at school, but at least she didn't kill him like Steve McNair's mistress did. Although my faith and personal beliefs don't really permit me the luxury of believing in what Whitlock suggests as an actual solution to the affair pandemic for men (athletes and non-athletes alike), his suggestion to remove some of the taboo and social shame that comes with an affair at least makes some intellectual sense. Whitlock first brought up how destructive affairs can sometimes be (he calls the other woman phenomenon Strange Tang or Pussy Galore) in the case of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino, who banged a woman not his wife on the table of a restaurant and then had the woman try to extort money from him...not good times. Strange Tang has also claimed Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton, former Indiana Pacers hoops star Reggie Miller, and Dallas Mavericks superstar NBA F Dirk Nowitzki as its victims, and for every 3-4 of these cases we hear about, there are many more that we don't. The impact on the families of these men is inexcusable and even having an affair demonstrates terrible judgment, but as Whitlock says, affairs have absolutely no bearing on whether someone is a good coach, commentator, or athlete, and it's time to stop pretending otherwise.
Here are the money quotes from Whitlock's article, read and decide for yourself:
"There are moments in our history when common sense forces us to change the rules in deference to a unique, unprecedented force of nature. In the aftermath of ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips' sordid affair with Monica Lewinsky II, we can no longer deny the inadequacies of America's current relationship rules as they pertain to the battle against Pussy Galore.
It's time to change the rules of the game. There's been too much carnage. She shredded Rick Pitino's reputation. She pushed Josh Hamilton off the wagon. She sweet-talked Charles Barkley into driving drunk. She hoodwinked Dirk Nowitzki into falling in love with a fugitive. And now a 22-year-old slump-buster has apparently cost Steve Phillips his marriage and his credibility to analyze baseball. It's not right. A little off-the-books nookie should not infringe on man's ability to discuss bats and balls in October. Enough is enough. It's time we had an adult conversation about Ms. Galore and her ability to ruin lives, careers and reputations. We have given her this power and it's obvious she's abusing it.
...Let's put an end to the sexual madness. Let's recognize where we're at as a society and open our borders. Technological, medical and sociological advances have rendered monogamy a theory/fantasy attained solely by men without options and even less self-confidence. Sexual prohibition for a healthy American man is as futile as alcohol prohibition. Man was meant to eat, drink and be merry, and a heterosexual man's happiness is directly tied to his visitation privileges with PG. Man is most happy when he is free to experience her pleasure in her varied forms, textures and styles of dress.
I like steak. Capital Grille is my favorite steakhouse. I could eat at Capital Grille seven nights a week. But, especially when I'm traveling, I like to experience different steakhouses. My occasional trips to Shula's, Morton's, Ruth's Chris and Smith and Wollensky in no way infringe upon my undying love and support of Capital Grille. In fact, shortly after I've digested my meal at a different steakhouse, I'm reminded just how much I love Cap Grille.
Consequently, if a man can afford a no-disease, no-pregnancy occasional night on the town without it affecting his financial and lovemaking responsibilities at home, as mature adults we must reach the point where we can allow this without breaking up the family or running a man from political office/off the set of a popular TV show.
It's simply not personal. It's physical. And in many ways it's a weakness magnified by societal evolution. Monogamy was invented before women entered the workplace, text messaging, cell phones, Viagra, exercise, makeup, perfume, hair extensions, shaved legs, clothes that revealed cleavage, Internet porn and on and on. Seriously, think about it. Let's just go back 50 or 60 years. The typical American man didn't exercise and smoked cigarettes. By age 45 he was almost completely out of the game. Stress, hypertension and just being fat and lazy knocked about all the starch out of his little man. Marilyn Monroe could proposition him, and there was a 75 percent chance he couldn't answer the call to duty.
...Gender equality has given men more access to women. This is not a good thing for fidelity. Madonna, Britney, Paris and Lil' Kim haven't helped much, either. Women are far more sexually aggressive than they used to be. They'll describe in graphic detail exactly what they'll do that your wife can't or won't, and they'll back it up by texting you a naked cell-phone pic.
...It's long past time to change the rules. We have to quit judging married men by their ability or inability to keep it in their pants. Women are looking for love in the wrong place. It's not in our crotch. We keep lust there. Only humans are dumb enough to place such importance on sexual monogamy. It's unnatural. It's emotionally crippling. It destroys families. And it's wreaked havoc on ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" set. Harold Reynolds and Steve Phillips were arguably my two favorite baseball analysts.
Let's redefine marriage by putting sex in its proper place. Reproduction should remain sacred between a married man and woman. Sex should be enjoyed between consenting, mature adults.
I say a moderately famous man earning between $250K and $500K a year should be allowed a mistress he can see weekly, one week-long, $8,000 vacation he can take with his mistress and five strip club nights with his boys a year. A moderately famous man earning between $500K and $1 million a year should be allowed a mistress he can see weekly and every other weekend, a 10-day, $15,000 vacation with his mistress, a $1,500-a-month, fully-furnished apartment for his mistress and seven strip club nights with his boys.
Any man earning more than $1 million a year should come and go as he damn well pleases."
Most recently, ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips was fired from ESPN for his extramarital affair with a woman half his age. His mistress flipped out when he tried to end the affair, contacted his wife, and even tried to mess with his kids at school, but at least she didn't kill him like Steve McNair's mistress did. Although my faith and personal beliefs don't really permit me the luxury of believing in what Whitlock suggests as an actual solution to the affair pandemic for men (athletes and non-athletes alike), his suggestion to remove some of the taboo and social shame that comes with an affair at least makes some intellectual sense. Whitlock first brought up how destructive affairs can sometimes be (he calls the other woman phenomenon Strange Tang or Pussy Galore) in the case of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino, who banged a woman not his wife on the table of a restaurant and then had the woman try to extort money from him...not good times. Strange Tang has also claimed Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton, former Indiana Pacers hoops star Reggie Miller, and Dallas Mavericks superstar NBA F Dirk Nowitzki as its victims, and for every 3-4 of these cases we hear about, there are many more that we don't. The impact on the families of these men is inexcusable and even having an affair demonstrates terrible judgment, but as Whitlock says, affairs have absolutely no bearing on whether someone is a good coach, commentator, or athlete, and it's time to stop pretending otherwise.
Here are the money quotes from Whitlock's article, read and decide for yourself:
"There are moments in our history when common sense forces us to change the rules in deference to a unique, unprecedented force of nature. In the aftermath of ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips' sordid affair with Monica Lewinsky II, we can no longer deny the inadequacies of America's current relationship rules as they pertain to the battle against Pussy Galore.
It's time to change the rules of the game. There's been too much carnage. She shredded Rick Pitino's reputation. She pushed Josh Hamilton off the wagon. She sweet-talked Charles Barkley into driving drunk. She hoodwinked Dirk Nowitzki into falling in love with a fugitive. And now a 22-year-old slump-buster has apparently cost Steve Phillips his marriage and his credibility to analyze baseball. It's not right. A little off-the-books nookie should not infringe on man's ability to discuss bats and balls in October. Enough is enough. It's time we had an adult conversation about Ms. Galore and her ability to ruin lives, careers and reputations. We have given her this power and it's obvious she's abusing it.
...Let's put an end to the sexual madness. Let's recognize where we're at as a society and open our borders. Technological, medical and sociological advances have rendered monogamy a theory/fantasy attained solely by men without options and even less self-confidence. Sexual prohibition for a healthy American man is as futile as alcohol prohibition. Man was meant to eat, drink and be merry, and a heterosexual man's happiness is directly tied to his visitation privileges with PG. Man is most happy when he is free to experience her pleasure in her varied forms, textures and styles of dress.
I like steak. Capital Grille is my favorite steakhouse. I could eat at Capital Grille seven nights a week. But, especially when I'm traveling, I like to experience different steakhouses. My occasional trips to Shula's, Morton's, Ruth's Chris and Smith and Wollensky in no way infringe upon my undying love and support of Capital Grille. In fact, shortly after I've digested my meal at a different steakhouse, I'm reminded just how much I love Cap Grille.
Consequently, if a man can afford a no-disease, no-pregnancy occasional night on the town without it affecting his financial and lovemaking responsibilities at home, as mature adults we must reach the point where we can allow this without breaking up the family or running a man from political office/off the set of a popular TV show.
It's simply not personal. It's physical. And in many ways it's a weakness magnified by societal evolution. Monogamy was invented before women entered the workplace, text messaging, cell phones, Viagra, exercise, makeup, perfume, hair extensions, shaved legs, clothes that revealed cleavage, Internet porn and on and on. Seriously, think about it. Let's just go back 50 or 60 years. The typical American man didn't exercise and smoked cigarettes. By age 45 he was almost completely out of the game. Stress, hypertension and just being fat and lazy knocked about all the starch out of his little man. Marilyn Monroe could proposition him, and there was a 75 percent chance he couldn't answer the call to duty.
...Gender equality has given men more access to women. This is not a good thing for fidelity. Madonna, Britney, Paris and Lil' Kim haven't helped much, either. Women are far more sexually aggressive than they used to be. They'll describe in graphic detail exactly what they'll do that your wife can't or won't, and they'll back it up by texting you a naked cell-phone pic.
...It's long past time to change the rules. We have to quit judging married men by their ability or inability to keep it in their pants. Women are looking for love in the wrong place. It's not in our crotch. We keep lust there. Only humans are dumb enough to place such importance on sexual monogamy. It's unnatural. It's emotionally crippling. It destroys families. And it's wreaked havoc on ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" set. Harold Reynolds and Steve Phillips were arguably my two favorite baseball analysts.
Let's redefine marriage by putting sex in its proper place. Reproduction should remain sacred between a married man and woman. Sex should be enjoyed between consenting, mature adults.
I say a moderately famous man earning between $250K and $500K a year should be allowed a mistress he can see weekly, one week-long, $8,000 vacation he can take with his mistress and five strip club nights with his boys a year. A moderately famous man earning between $500K and $1 million a year should be allowed a mistress he can see weekly and every other weekend, a 10-day, $15,000 vacation with his mistress, a $1,500-a-month, fully-furnished apartment for his mistress and seven strip club nights with his boys.
Any man earning more than $1 million a year should come and go as he damn well pleases."
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