Speaking Truth to Inaction

This is a post from a strictly internet buddy of mine, nicknamed Chickpea. She lives up close to the DC area and we're unlikely to ever meet in person. We actually got to know each other as a result of a mutual headcase we both knew a few years back (her as a friend, me as someone I thought I might be interested in romantically). We stay in touch sometimes, but mostly we keep up with one another by reading each other's blogs. Hers is much more personal and detailed than mine, but I know brutal honesty and good writing when I see them...and I appreciate both.

Her post sums up well some of the inherent difficulties with, and maybe some solid, mandatory ground rules for internet dating. Different things work for different people and all, but these are valid points here...talking only gets you so far, period, end of sentence, end of conversation. I think you can start the process of something real developing online, but it can't be completed or consumated there. As Kevin Spacey astutely pointed out in "The Negotiator", "There is a time limit on these negotiations."

I think the amount of allowance for time, etc. necessarily varies from situation to situation, but it eventually comes down to whether the person on the other end decides you are enough of a priority to make the time for you (even if they are busy)...if they are, perfect, and if they aren't, well, then that tells you everything you need to know right there. It isn't a matter of meanness or lack of understanding of someone's situation, it's a matter of taking a detached, rational look at the situation as it really is and not as you wished it would be.

In closing, I will illustrate my point using the last season of "The Bachelor". Dr. Travis chose Sarah at the end of the show's taping, but there was 4 MONTHS of separation in between him choosing her and them getting to hang out again due to the show's air dates. By the time the "After the Final Rose" special rolled around, they weren't together anymore, and they both said that it was because whatever they had together on the show died on the vine due to all that time not seeing and being able to communicate properly with one another. This being reality TV, who the heck knows if they would have made it without the delay? That said, they did prove that too much of a delay/time apart can kill even the most promising and wonderful of things. The real world doesn't have television delays, so the moral of the story, children, is: if you think someone is a worthy candidate, give them their chance or give them their freedom...it really is that simple.

"Another area where my standards are higher? My limits on time.

Actions speak volumes louder than words.

You can start with talk, you can flatter, you can get to know each other, but until you make the movement and meet face to face and interact on a human level, it's simply that. It's all talk. It's not real until you hear the voice, touch the skin, breathe the same air, and share the same field of energy.

It takes more than words to be with me and I have a time limit on the talk.

I will not sit around pining away for you if you won't make an ounce of effort. I will give you a certain amount of time that is proportional to the distance we live apart, the current situations we are in, our work schedules, etc. But if after that reasonable amount of time nothing has changed, then I say sayonara. Adios. Peace out. Hasta luego, etc."