This, ladies and gentlemen, is the ONLY appropriate response to a law enforcement official who wants to talk to you about anything more serious than a traffic ticket. Sure, you might get arrested, but as Kim DuToit correctly points out, that answer will not get you charged with a separate "crime" of lying to a law enforcement official. Think it can't happen...? Just ask Martha Stewart. Police do a difficult, dirty, and dangerous job for not nearly enough money, but my interest in those things end where my constitutional rights, including my freedom, begin.
Heck, I'm a lawyer myself, and that's the answer I would give them...so take the advice from your friendly criminal defense lawyer here. If the police, state or federal, start asking questions that make you even suspect that you might be a target of their investigation, pretend your lips are stuck together with superglue until you have an attorney present who is on your side...because in this situation, the authorities may be lots of things (including liars who can lie to you with impunity if they think it will get them the information they're after), but on your side ain't one of them.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Now I Know How the Troops in Iraq Must Feel
The only difference, apparently, between the National Guard "force" sent to the Mexican border and the troops in Iraq is that the Guard don't have overeager, P.C. JAG officers breathing down their necks every second. Both groups, on the other hand, are hamstrung by rules of engagement so ridiculous that it prohibits them doing their jobs and renders their presence wherever they are a sad joke. As this article shows, there are consequences for this kind of madness. In this case, a bunch of Mexican drug dealers forced U.S. forces from a guard post. This can only embolden these thugs and encourage international terrorists to try the same thing to penetrate our borders...oh wait, they don't have to, they can just walk right across under the guise of "doing jobs Americans won't do". People think I am joking when I say both Presidents Clinton and Bush should be impeached for the deterioration of the situation on the border, but I am dead serious. Their neglect borders on the criminal, because they both failed miserably to secure our borders and to protect the citizens of this country. Unfortunately, outside of a few voices in the wilderness, they are enabled by Congress on both sides of the aisle, so if you ask me, every last one of them could go home tomorrow and I don't think the country would be any the worse for it.
CAUSE: "The Guard troops are not allowed to apprehend illegal entrants."
EFFECT: "National Guard troops working at an observatory post near Sasabe were approached by a group of armed individuals late Wednesday night and forced to flee, said Border Patrol and National Guard officials Thursday."
CAUSE: "The Guard troops are not allowed to apprehend illegal entrants."
EFFECT: "National Guard troops working at an observatory post near Sasabe were approached by a group of armed individuals late Wednesday night and forced to flee, said Border Patrol and National Guard officials Thursday."
Friday, January 5, 2007
Tap Dancing Through Life
With me, up until about two years ago, the focus of life ever since I could remember had always been about something else first and foremost rather than Chris. First, it was getting good grades in high school and excelling in sports, then finishing with a certain GPA and rank, then getting into college. After HS, it was rinse, lather, and repeat that same process at undergraduate school...charging after good grades, doing extracurriculars, playing D-1 football, and working two jobs at a time. Then it was on to law school, and although I wasn't playing ball anymore, school was much more demanding, and I worked full-time to help pay for school. I was basically in survival mode for those three years. Then, I got my first attorney job, which paid so poorly I had to wait tables on top of that to make the bills, so still, no time for much else.
I think what I've described above occurs most frequently in young people, especially those with ambition who are driven to succeed professionally. I don't think anyone ever intentionally sets out to tap dance their way through life, but we all do, and we all have at some point. Tap dancing occurs when we are so focused on something, usually external, that we lose at least part of who we are. Or, in the case of young people, especially those in survival mode and/or trying to make a name and a place for themselves in the world, maybe they don't have or take the time to figure out lots of important things they never knew to begin with. In the process, we forget to take care of ourselves and figure out what we want, what's important to us, and who we are. Living life this way is very likely the genesis of many quarter-life crises, because once school is done and the world is here, the journey of defining one's self begins in earnest, whether we want it to or not.
Back to my story, a couple of years ago now, I landed my current job as an Assistant Public Defender. I moved all the way across the state to a strange place, knowing no one, and taking a job I had last learned anything substantive about 4 years ago in a single law school class. Fortunately, I got the hang of my job pretty easily, and I have learned a lot in addition to getting some good trial experience. Moreover, while it won't make me rich, this is the highest paying job I've ever had, and it has provided me a little financial breathing room and does not necessitate me taking a second job. :)
What's especially noteworthy about this job, however, is that it's a state position, meaning I basically work 8-4:30 and that's it. I'd never, EVER had this kind of free time in my life, and frankly, it scared the crap out of me because I had no idea what to do with it. Accordingly, I once thought that getting this job, with all the free time it brings, was one of the worst things that had ever happened to me. As I would soon find out, it ended up being one of the best and most vitally necessary times in the life of me.
The more free time I had that passed, I soon realized there were a lot of things I didn't know about myself, and these were important things! Not only that, I now had the time to figure this stuff out, and these questions were demanding answers. What does Chris want from life? What makes him happy? Where do I place my hope, faith, and trust? It was certainly high time for the journey to find those answers to begin, but it hasn't always been easy or fun. While my learning curve has (thankfully) been pretty sharp and steep, there's been more than my share of sad, painful, and/or uncomfortable times, plenty of mistakes, and lots of soul searching...in addition to the many amazing experiences I've had and the wonderful people God has brought into my life.
"Life is a journey, not a destination" is definitely a cheesy motivational poster saying, but it makes more sense to me now than it ever has. There will be plenty of landmarks, accomplishments, and heartbreaks in life, but one of the secrets of leading a happy and fulfilled life is to never get complacent and rest on any of those things...it's about walking out the journey God has for us, savoring each and every experience along the way, always being willing to learn from both our successes and failures, and adapting our lives accordingly.
I think what I've described above occurs most frequently in young people, especially those with ambition who are driven to succeed professionally. I don't think anyone ever intentionally sets out to tap dance their way through life, but we all do, and we all have at some point. Tap dancing occurs when we are so focused on something, usually external, that we lose at least part of who we are. Or, in the case of young people, especially those in survival mode and/or trying to make a name and a place for themselves in the world, maybe they don't have or take the time to figure out lots of important things they never knew to begin with. In the process, we forget to take care of ourselves and figure out what we want, what's important to us, and who we are. Living life this way is very likely the genesis of many quarter-life crises, because once school is done and the world is here, the journey of defining one's self begins in earnest, whether we want it to or not.
Back to my story, a couple of years ago now, I landed my current job as an Assistant Public Defender. I moved all the way across the state to a strange place, knowing no one, and taking a job I had last learned anything substantive about 4 years ago in a single law school class. Fortunately, I got the hang of my job pretty easily, and I have learned a lot in addition to getting some good trial experience. Moreover, while it won't make me rich, this is the highest paying job I've ever had, and it has provided me a little financial breathing room and does not necessitate me taking a second job. :)
What's especially noteworthy about this job, however, is that it's a state position, meaning I basically work 8-4:30 and that's it. I'd never, EVER had this kind of free time in my life, and frankly, it scared the crap out of me because I had no idea what to do with it. Accordingly, I once thought that getting this job, with all the free time it brings, was one of the worst things that had ever happened to me. As I would soon find out, it ended up being one of the best and most vitally necessary times in the life of me.
The more free time I had that passed, I soon realized there were a lot of things I didn't know about myself, and these were important things! Not only that, I now had the time to figure this stuff out, and these questions were demanding answers. What does Chris want from life? What makes him happy? Where do I place my hope, faith, and trust? It was certainly high time for the journey to find those answers to begin, but it hasn't always been easy or fun. While my learning curve has (thankfully) been pretty sharp and steep, there's been more than my share of sad, painful, and/or uncomfortable times, plenty of mistakes, and lots of soul searching...in addition to the many amazing experiences I've had and the wonderful people God has brought into my life.
"Life is a journey, not a destination" is definitely a cheesy motivational poster saying, but it makes more sense to me now than it ever has. There will be plenty of landmarks, accomplishments, and heartbreaks in life, but one of the secrets of leading a happy and fulfilled life is to never get complacent and rest on any of those things...it's about walking out the journey God has for us, savoring each and every experience along the way, always being willing to learn from both our successes and failures, and adapting our lives accordingly.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
An Entire Political Party as a Not-So-Sleeper Cell
Ann Coulter, writing at Human Events Online lays out a pretty compelling comparison of the Democrats of today as the exact clones of their predecessors from the 70's, the only difference being that our enemies to whom they wanted to surrender and who they were rooting for were Asian and Communist back then, whereas they are Islamic and Middle Eastern right now. The thing of it is, they can't be really classified as a sleeper cell in spite of their obfuscation of their intentions and their running on a platform of no substance whatsoever. This is because they've always been clear that they oppose the Iraq war (and every other war in history save WWII), that they are unwilling or unable to recognize evil when confronted with it, and that they believe America as currently constituted to be a country unworthy of its status, success, or even its continued existence in the world. Disregarding their words, their every action is based on this fundamental belief. Their self-hatred, guilt, and delusions of adequacy will be chief among the things that eventually brings this entire country to its knees. I only pray that, when this happens, the richly deserved consequences that flow therefrom will be visited upon them.
"Liberals spent the Vietnam War rooting for the enemy and clamoring for America's defeat, a tradition they have brought back for the Iraq war. They insisted on calling the Soviet-backed Vietcong "the National Liberation Front of Vietnam," just as they call Islamic fascists killing Americans in Iraq "insurgents." Ho Chi Minh was hailed as a "Jeffersonian Democrat," just as Michael Moore compares the Islamic fascists in Iraq to the Minute Men. ...
More troops, fewer troops, different troops, "redeployment"—all the Democrats' peculiar little talking points are just a way of sounding busy. Who are they kidding? Democrats want to cut and run as fast as possible from Iraq, betraying the Iraqis who supported us and rewarding our enemies—exactly as they did to the South Vietnamese under Ford. The passing of Gerald Ford should remind Americans that Democrats are always lying in wait, ready to force a humiliating defeat on America. ...
Three months after Nixon was gone, we got the Watergate Congress and with it, the new Democratic Party. In lieu of the old Democratic Party, which lost wars out of incompetence and naiveté, the new Democratic Party would lose wars on purpose. Just one month after the Watergate Congress was elected, North Vietnam attacked the South.
Even milquetoast, pro-abortion, detente-loving Gerald R. Ford knew America had to defend South Vietnam or America's word would be worth nothing. As Ford said, "American unwillingness to provide adequate assistance to allies fighting for their lives could seriously affect our credibility throughout the world as an ally." He pleaded repeatedly with the Democratic Congress simply to authorize aid to South Vietnam—no troops, just money. But the Democrats turned their backs on South Vietnam, betrayed an ally and trashed America's word. Within a month of Ford's last appeal to Congress to help South Vietnam, Saigon fell. The entire world watched as American personnel desperately scrambled into helicopters from embassy rooftops in Saigon while beating back our own allies, to whom we could offer no means of escape. It was the most demeaning image of America ever witnessed, until Britney Spears came along.
Southeast Asia was promptly consumed in a maelstrom of violence that seems to occur whenever these "Jeffersonian Democrats" come to power. Communist totalitarians swept through Laos, Cambodia and all of Vietnam. They staged gruesome massacres so vast that none other than Sen. George McGovern called for military intervention to stop a "clear case of genocide" in Cambodia. Five years after that, Islamic lunatics in Iran felt no compunction about storming the embassy of what was once the greatest superpower on Earth and taking American citizens hostage for 14 months. To this day, al Qaeda boosts the flagging morale of its jihadists by reminding them of America's humiliating retreat from Vietnam. In addition to being wrong about Ford's pardon of Nixon, liberals were wrong about a few other things from that era. Democrats haven't admitted error in rejecting Ford's pleas on behalf of South Vietnam because there are still dangerous foreigners trying to kill Americans. Nixon is safely interred in the ground, but the enemies of America continue to need the Democrats' help."
"Liberals spent the Vietnam War rooting for the enemy and clamoring for America's defeat, a tradition they have brought back for the Iraq war. They insisted on calling the Soviet-backed Vietcong "the National Liberation Front of Vietnam," just as they call Islamic fascists killing Americans in Iraq "insurgents." Ho Chi Minh was hailed as a "Jeffersonian Democrat," just as Michael Moore compares the Islamic fascists in Iraq to the Minute Men. ...
More troops, fewer troops, different troops, "redeployment"—all the Democrats' peculiar little talking points are just a way of sounding busy. Who are they kidding? Democrats want to cut and run as fast as possible from Iraq, betraying the Iraqis who supported us and rewarding our enemies—exactly as they did to the South Vietnamese under Ford. The passing of Gerald Ford should remind Americans that Democrats are always lying in wait, ready to force a humiliating defeat on America. ...
Three months after Nixon was gone, we got the Watergate Congress and with it, the new Democratic Party. In lieu of the old Democratic Party, which lost wars out of incompetence and naiveté, the new Democratic Party would lose wars on purpose. Just one month after the Watergate Congress was elected, North Vietnam attacked the South.
Even milquetoast, pro-abortion, detente-loving Gerald R. Ford knew America had to defend South Vietnam or America's word would be worth nothing. As Ford said, "American unwillingness to provide adequate assistance to allies fighting for their lives could seriously affect our credibility throughout the world as an ally." He pleaded repeatedly with the Democratic Congress simply to authorize aid to South Vietnam—no troops, just money. But the Democrats turned their backs on South Vietnam, betrayed an ally and trashed America's word. Within a month of Ford's last appeal to Congress to help South Vietnam, Saigon fell. The entire world watched as American personnel desperately scrambled into helicopters from embassy rooftops in Saigon while beating back our own allies, to whom we could offer no means of escape. It was the most demeaning image of America ever witnessed, until Britney Spears came along.
Southeast Asia was promptly consumed in a maelstrom of violence that seems to occur whenever these "Jeffersonian Democrats" come to power. Communist totalitarians swept through Laos, Cambodia and all of Vietnam. They staged gruesome massacres so vast that none other than Sen. George McGovern called for military intervention to stop a "clear case of genocide" in Cambodia. Five years after that, Islamic lunatics in Iran felt no compunction about storming the embassy of what was once the greatest superpower on Earth and taking American citizens hostage for 14 months. To this day, al Qaeda boosts the flagging morale of its jihadists by reminding them of America's humiliating retreat from Vietnam. In addition to being wrong about Ford's pardon of Nixon, liberals were wrong about a few other things from that era. Democrats haven't admitted error in rejecting Ford's pleas on behalf of South Vietnam because there are still dangerous foreigners trying to kill Americans. Nixon is safely interred in the ground, but the enemies of America continue to need the Democrats' help."
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Peace Through Bold Outreach
Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life", sends out a daily e-mail devotional piece, which usually includes some scripture and thoughts for daily living. Catching up on my e-mail after the holidays, I came across the devotional from 12/26, written by John Fischer. In it, he speaks of attempting to make peace through avoidance, and how it hasn't really worked out for him the way he thought it would. It's often scary and difficult to put ourselves out there in an attempt to make peace in any situation, and that goes double (or more) when it's someone we have wronged and/or care for. Fischer is right when he says that it takes two to want to reconcile, and in saying it is up to us to make the first move to create the environment for reconciliation. I think that's all God really asks of any of us, whether in relationships with others or in our relationship with Him...to reach out and take the first step(s) toward healing in faith and with boldness and let Him take care of the rest.
"If I know a conflict exists in a particular area, I will avoid the subject altogether, or if I am in conflict with a certain person, I will avoid them altogether. This is not being a peacemaker...it’s being a coward. A peacemaker who works for peace by avoiding conflict says that I am not willing to put forth the effort necessary to face into a problem, I am too afraid to face into it, or I don’t care enough for the other person to want to seek peace. Do I care enough for myself to want to live in peace instead of conflict and denial?
Peace is never found in walking away from our fears, but in walking into them. Like the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz, courage comes when you care enough for someone that you will face into your fears on their behalf. It takes this kind of work to be a peacemaker.
Think about where there is conflict in your life and ask God to show you how you can make peace. It’s true that a relationship is made up of two people, and if there is a conflict, both have to want to make peace in order to achieve it. We can’t change the other person, but we can do our part to create the environment for reconciliation.
If there is a chasm in a relationship, you may have to reach all the way across to establish peace, but won’t it be worth it? God didn’t stay on his throne of righteousness, but reached all the way through the cross to bridge the chasm to us. Halfway is probably not far enough."
"If I know a conflict exists in a particular area, I will avoid the subject altogether, or if I am in conflict with a certain person, I will avoid them altogether. This is not being a peacemaker...it’s being a coward. A peacemaker who works for peace by avoiding conflict says that I am not willing to put forth the effort necessary to face into a problem, I am too afraid to face into it, or I don’t care enough for the other person to want to seek peace. Do I care enough for myself to want to live in peace instead of conflict and denial?
Peace is never found in walking away from our fears, but in walking into them. Like the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz, courage comes when you care enough for someone that you will face into your fears on their behalf. It takes this kind of work to be a peacemaker.
Think about where there is conflict in your life and ask God to show you how you can make peace. It’s true that a relationship is made up of two people, and if there is a conflict, both have to want to make peace in order to achieve it. We can’t change the other person, but we can do our part to create the environment for reconciliation.
If there is a chasm in a relationship, you may have to reach all the way across to establish peace, but won’t it be worth it? God didn’t stay on his throne of righteousness, but reached all the way through the cross to bridge the chasm to us. Halfway is probably not far enough."
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Saddam, Say Hi to Your Sons, Room and Temperature, for Me
With all that's gone on the last few days in my own life, I failed to mention that Saddam Hussein, serial murderer, dictator, and torturer, was finally sent packing to his own warm corner of the afterlife where he can join his equally murderous and evil sons, killed by coalition forces a couple of years ago. After a trial where he had a right to counsel, a right to present evidence on his behalf, a right to be innocent until proven guilty, and a right not to be tortured or murdered (all things he denied his victims), he was sentenced to hanging by an Iraqi judge, and that sentence was carried out over the weekend. It certainly won't solve all of Iraq's problems, but it does close a horrific chapter in Iraqi history...here's to hoping 2007 brings better times for Iraq.
As Leatherneck M31 pointed out:
"Interesting contrast this weekend... the deaths and funerals of two national leaders. One (former U.S. President Gerald Ford) was given the full honors of his nation and the respect of his countrymen. He returned to the nation's capitol to lie in repose with the pomp and circumstance rendered as only the U.S. military can.
The other shuffled to the gallows where his countrymen roughly placed a noose around his neck and intentionally provoked him during his final moments. With absolutely no warning, he was dropped to his fate and without ceremony, zipped into a rubber bag, then tossed in the back of a van.
Sic semper tyrannis."
As Leatherneck M31 pointed out:
"Interesting contrast this weekend... the deaths and funerals of two national leaders. One (former U.S. President Gerald Ford) was given the full honors of his nation and the respect of his countrymen. He returned to the nation's capitol to lie in repose with the pomp and circumstance rendered as only the U.S. military can.
The other shuffled to the gallows where his countrymen roughly placed a noose around his neck and intentionally provoked him during his final moments. With absolutely no warning, he was dropped to his fate and without ceremony, zipped into a rubber bag, then tossed in the back of a van.
Sic semper tyrannis."
Monday, January 1, 2007
2006 Reflections and 2007 Resolutions
Wow, I can't believe an entire year has gone by so quickly! Seems like just yesterday, I was wondering how 2006 got here so fast, but such is life. The beginning of 2006 brought about, hands down, the change of my entire life...my spiritual reawakening and making things right with the Lord after having been far away from Him for quite some time. As good a writer and speaker as I am, words simply fail when attempting to express how thankful I am that God never quit on me...so a simple "Thank You Father" will have to do. If that was all I accomplished in 2006, it would be a resounding success of a year by any measure.
As I look back on the year past, I honestly can't believe how much things have changed for me in so many ways, how much I really have accomplished (if only I give God the glory and myself some credit), and how much there still is yet to be done. It is on that note and in that spirit that I begin 2007, broken of my delusions of being able to do anything on my own and humbled before God, but resolved and cautiously optimistic inside in a way that has never been before.
I truly feel that Satan did everything in his awful power to try to strangle my relationship with God in its crib and kill me in the process...HE HAS FAILED! I now understand that my spiritual awakening was not the end, but rather the beginning. To those whom much is entrusted by God, much more is expected of them, and that means me. He has trusted me with so much...it's high time I started thinking, acting, and living like it. If I do that, I am confident that everything else will work out. So here goes, Chris's 2007 New Year's Resolutions...
1.) Stretching- OK, so this has nothing to do with my faith, lol, but if it makes me healthier and feel physically better, then it certainly can't hurt the mental and spiritual side of things. My workouts with weights and cardio are more or less where I'd like them to be, but as my days of competitive sports get farther in the rear view mirror, my flexibility has decreased quite a bit. I feel my muscles tighten too quickly during periods of exertion, and I cramp up far more than I should. So if I can even take 5 minutes a day to do some quality stretching, it should help a lot...and as of today, I am one for one on the year, WOO-HOO! :)
2.) Learning to Better Forgive Myself, Grieve Losses, Let Go, and Move Forward- These things are all inextricably linked, and as I've discovered the hard way, especially these last couple of months, they are some of the things the Enemy was using to hold me back and keep me down. Since re-dedicating my life to the Lord and my Boot Camp experience, I have made substantial progress in the area of forgiving others, grieving whatever pain was caused or loss suffered by me due to their actions, and then moving on. For that, I am more thankful than I can adequately express, and that progress certainly lifted some heavy weights of the past from me. There's just one little thing...somehow I forgot to follow this process on/with myself. I know beyond any doubt that God has forgiven me the mistakes I have made, whether stumbling in my faith, hurting others, etc. That's all well and good, but it doesn't really count for a whole lot if you are sabotaging yourself from within with a lack of self-forgiveness...besides, it only makes sense that if God commands us to forgive others and if He forgives us freely, then we should treat ourselves no differently.
Imagine this for a moment: picture yourself in your daily life, and then imagine that with every action you take, you feel the entire weight of the past 26+ years of mistakes you've ever made weighing down upon you. Now, if that isn't heavy enough, try adding this on top of it...when you do make a mistake (and you will), imagine replaying in your mind every ounce of pain and regret you've ever experienced in similar situations past, and that should give you a glimpse of how I've lived my life up to, well, until yesterday. The biggest problems caused by thinking and living this way are twofold: a.) living with and in a spirit of fear to the point of near-paralysis; and b.) then once you realize the mistake you've made, trying to correct an entire life's worth of miscues in a single response, throwing faith and patience right out the window, and actually making things worse by overcompensating badly in the process. Anyone who knows me well can attest to the havoc this has wrought in my life (especially in the area of romantic relationships), and it simply must end. Leave it to God to use the one area of my life with which I struggle most and which I used to try to withhold from him to affect the biggest changes in my life for the good; He's an interesting fellow like that, and that's just how He rolls, yo! :)
Again, as with resolution #1, I started today. Driving back home today, I left the radio off and just talked to God for most of the trip. I literally sat and thought of every mistake I could think of having made, every loss I had suffered and not yet grieved for, and everything for which I hadn't yet forgiven myself, and I just gave it to Him. It certainly isn't the end and there's more to be done I'm sure, but it was a fine beginning. It's a good thing for me that life is lived in the present and experienced moment to moment, because that means there is always fresh opportunity for a change in both behavior and direction, even when I mess up in the future. It isn't going to be an easy process, but if I lean on God moment to moment, each hour, each day, and even more so during times I am feeling down or weak, then His word says that I am guaranteed success, so that is where I put my trust and hope.
3.) Getting off the Bench and Learning About my Spiritual Gifts- The first step here is attending church more regularly than I have been...I think it's time. After Boot Camp, I was so spiritually full and had so much to process that I took a brief hiatus from formal church until I could figure some things out. If I am completely honest with myself and with God, however, I think that once I accomplished that, I inadvertently and unitentionally lapsed into a state of spiritual atrophy that bred laziness. With no place to go to get spiritually replenished on a regular basis and no use of the gifts God has given me, that's really not so surprising. I don't know exactly what God wants me to do, where He wants me to do it, or what I would specifically be good at, but it's awful hard to find these things out if you aren't actively looking, isn't it? I have some ideas though about how I might fit in...for example, I know I have a spirit of service. Rare and implausible though it may be this day and age, it actually makes my heart smile to serve, fulfill, encourage, and lift up others. Given that Christ came to us as a servant, that seems like something He could put to good use, no? ;) Perhaps in exercising my spiritual muscles with which I've been gifted, I can find my ministry...again, by leaning on God, I'm guaranteed success, and that gives me hope.
As I sit here writing this post, I don't have the foggiest idea of exactly what my life will look like as the next year unfolds. There's much to do and experience, and no time like the present to get started. One thing is certain though...in sticking to these resolutions, it is sure to be an interesting ride if nothing else, and I am genuinely excited to see where God takes it. So, in closing, in the words of our President, I say to this upcoming year, "Bring it on!"; and to the Enemy, because the Lord is in my corner and you have no chance, I quote the famous ring announcer Michael Buffer, "Let's get ready to rummmmmbllllle!" ;)
As I look back on the year past, I honestly can't believe how much things have changed for me in so many ways, how much I really have accomplished (if only I give God the glory and myself some credit), and how much there still is yet to be done. It is on that note and in that spirit that I begin 2007, broken of my delusions of being able to do anything on my own and humbled before God, but resolved and cautiously optimistic inside in a way that has never been before.
I truly feel that Satan did everything in his awful power to try to strangle my relationship with God in its crib and kill me in the process...HE HAS FAILED! I now understand that my spiritual awakening was not the end, but rather the beginning. To those whom much is entrusted by God, much more is expected of them, and that means me. He has trusted me with so much...it's high time I started thinking, acting, and living like it. If I do that, I am confident that everything else will work out. So here goes, Chris's 2007 New Year's Resolutions...
1.) Stretching- OK, so this has nothing to do with my faith, lol, but if it makes me healthier and feel physically better, then it certainly can't hurt the mental and spiritual side of things. My workouts with weights and cardio are more or less where I'd like them to be, but as my days of competitive sports get farther in the rear view mirror, my flexibility has decreased quite a bit. I feel my muscles tighten too quickly during periods of exertion, and I cramp up far more than I should. So if I can even take 5 minutes a day to do some quality stretching, it should help a lot...and as of today, I am one for one on the year, WOO-HOO! :)
2.) Learning to Better Forgive Myself, Grieve Losses, Let Go, and Move Forward- These things are all inextricably linked, and as I've discovered the hard way, especially these last couple of months, they are some of the things the Enemy was using to hold me back and keep me down. Since re-dedicating my life to the Lord and my Boot Camp experience, I have made substantial progress in the area of forgiving others, grieving whatever pain was caused or loss suffered by me due to their actions, and then moving on. For that, I am more thankful than I can adequately express, and that progress certainly lifted some heavy weights of the past from me. There's just one little thing...somehow I forgot to follow this process on/with myself. I know beyond any doubt that God has forgiven me the mistakes I have made, whether stumbling in my faith, hurting others, etc. That's all well and good, but it doesn't really count for a whole lot if you are sabotaging yourself from within with a lack of self-forgiveness...besides, it only makes sense that if God commands us to forgive others and if He forgives us freely, then we should treat ourselves no differently.
Imagine this for a moment: picture yourself in your daily life, and then imagine that with every action you take, you feel the entire weight of the past 26+ years of mistakes you've ever made weighing down upon you. Now, if that isn't heavy enough, try adding this on top of it...when you do make a mistake (and you will), imagine replaying in your mind every ounce of pain and regret you've ever experienced in similar situations past, and that should give you a glimpse of how I've lived my life up to, well, until yesterday. The biggest problems caused by thinking and living this way are twofold: a.) living with and in a spirit of fear to the point of near-paralysis; and b.) then once you realize the mistake you've made, trying to correct an entire life's worth of miscues in a single response, throwing faith and patience right out the window, and actually making things worse by overcompensating badly in the process. Anyone who knows me well can attest to the havoc this has wrought in my life (especially in the area of romantic relationships), and it simply must end. Leave it to God to use the one area of my life with which I struggle most and which I used to try to withhold from him to affect the biggest changes in my life for the good; He's an interesting fellow like that, and that's just how He rolls, yo! :)
Again, as with resolution #1, I started today. Driving back home today, I left the radio off and just talked to God for most of the trip. I literally sat and thought of every mistake I could think of having made, every loss I had suffered and not yet grieved for, and everything for which I hadn't yet forgiven myself, and I just gave it to Him. It certainly isn't the end and there's more to be done I'm sure, but it was a fine beginning. It's a good thing for me that life is lived in the present and experienced moment to moment, because that means there is always fresh opportunity for a change in both behavior and direction, even when I mess up in the future. It isn't going to be an easy process, but if I lean on God moment to moment, each hour, each day, and even more so during times I am feeling down or weak, then His word says that I am guaranteed success, so that is where I put my trust and hope.
3.) Getting off the Bench and Learning About my Spiritual Gifts- The first step here is attending church more regularly than I have been...I think it's time. After Boot Camp, I was so spiritually full and had so much to process that I took a brief hiatus from formal church until I could figure some things out. If I am completely honest with myself and with God, however, I think that once I accomplished that, I inadvertently and unitentionally lapsed into a state of spiritual atrophy that bred laziness. With no place to go to get spiritually replenished on a regular basis and no use of the gifts God has given me, that's really not so surprising. I don't know exactly what God wants me to do, where He wants me to do it, or what I would specifically be good at, but it's awful hard to find these things out if you aren't actively looking, isn't it? I have some ideas though about how I might fit in...for example, I know I have a spirit of service. Rare and implausible though it may be this day and age, it actually makes my heart smile to serve, fulfill, encourage, and lift up others. Given that Christ came to us as a servant, that seems like something He could put to good use, no? ;) Perhaps in exercising my spiritual muscles with which I've been gifted, I can find my ministry...again, by leaning on God, I'm guaranteed success, and that gives me hope.
As I sit here writing this post, I don't have the foggiest idea of exactly what my life will look like as the next year unfolds. There's much to do and experience, and no time like the present to get started. One thing is certain though...in sticking to these resolutions, it is sure to be an interesting ride if nothing else, and I am genuinely excited to see where God takes it. So, in closing, in the words of our President, I say to this upcoming year, "Bring it on!"; and to the Enemy, because the Lord is in my corner and you have no chance, I quote the famous ring announcer Michael Buffer, "Let's get ready to rummmmmbllllle!" ;)
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