ESPN columnist D.J. Gallo has written a hysterical piece about the zoo that is the major league baseball winter meetings. This is where most of the wheeling and dealing, major trades, and big free-agent signings happen in baseball's off season. It never fails that there are ridiculous rumors, funny stories, and several sad but true cases, of "Wait, they paid how much for that stiff with a bad arm, no bat, and/or who can't catch a cold playing defense...?" This quasi-parody definitely good for a laugh.
Monday
6:55 a.m. My flight just arrived here in Orlando for the winter meetings. This is so exciting. I've never been to Orlando before. It's thrilling to think that I could be walking in exactly the same steps a famous Orlandoan like Scott Stapp or one of the Backstreet Boys has walked in before. I can almost hear their music in my ears as I walk along. It sounds like my soul dying.
9:15 a.m. I was just let in on a little secret on my way into the meetings: The Brewers are about to complete a trade for Manny Ramirez. Pretty nice scoop, if I do say so myself. However, the same guy told me I need to repent because the end is near, then he threw trash at me. Hmm … I'm starting to think maybe he wasn't a general manager.
11:27 a.m. Scott Boras (MLB superagent version of NFL's Drew Rosenhaus...he also might be the Devil --Ed.) is representing many of this year's big free agents, and I have an interview scheduled with him at 11:30.
11:30 a.m. Oh … gotta go. I think Boras has arrived in the building because all the plants just died and the temperature dropped a good 20 degrees...more in an hour or so when the interview is over.
11:33 a.m. The interview didn't happen. Boras demanded a 30 percent cut of all ESPN.com's future profits before he would sit down for a conversation. Plus, he tried to reach into my chest and remove my heart. I found that to be really unprofessional, so I canceled the interview.
Tuesday
11:55 a.m. I just got off the phone with Brian Cashman. I called to ask him if he is "dangling Johnson or dangling Wang" in any deals. He didn't laugh. I bet he wasn't anywhere near as popular as I was in middle school. I think I might call him back to see if his refrigerator is running. That one is classic, man. Classic.
6:11 p.m. A weird little Korean guy with big hair showed up here today saying he heard there were some big spenders in town and asked whether anyone wanted to buy some weapons-grade plutonium. He also claims he once struck out 47 batters in a nine-inning game.
Wednesday
11:14 a.m. Mike Piazza's agent says the only thing keeping his client from signing with Oakland right now is that Piazza is worried Oakland doesn't have any good salons where he can get his tips frosted.
2:44 p.m. I hear the Dodgers are trying to write into Schmidt's contract that the entire deal will be voided if he tests positive for steroids. Supposedly, there are some people in the Dodgers organization who are concerned he could have gotten some sort of contact high from playing with Bonds for six years.
Thursday
10:11 a.m. I just got off the phone with Manny Ramirez. He doesn't seem affected by all the trade rumors. In fact, he said he hasn't thought about them at all. Apparently, he recently had a ceiling fan installed in his living room, and he has just been watching that go round and round all week.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
The Worthless Baker Study Group Report
Via Emperor Misha, we get a proper take on the infamous Baker Report, or as future generations might call it if followed, The Great Surrender Document of 2006. Just like evacuating the last people off the embassy roof in Saigon during Vietnam (without the helicopters) right before handing the Vietnamese people over to their communist butchers, our betters in Washington appear poised to once again snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Now James Baker, an utterly worthless "diplomat" who not only fathered the idea to leave Saddam in power in the first Iraq war, but is also the name partner in a law firm representing Saudi Arabia against lawsuits filed by the families of murdered 9/11 victims, says we should talk to Iran and Syria (who are helping cause the problems in Iraq), set a timetable to get out (giving the enemy a heads-up as to when to attack), and to leave the Iraqis at the mercy of al-Qaida and other assorted Islamic butchers. I hope the President takes this "report" with a giant grain of salt, and that he sends a few thousand more troops in to crush the trouble areas...killing al-Sadr and wiping out his "army" would help too, but apparently he doesn't have the stones for that. I'm not sure the U.S. or anyone else can soothe or resolve the seething hatred between various Muslim groups. Frankly, at this point, I'm just about prepared to stand back, let the ululating savages kill each other, and us go in the aftermath to negotiate with the winner in the best "you either live with the world in peace or go meet Allah right now" tone we can muster.
"Ah, but of course. Merely creating a defeat and handing the ululating apes an enormous victory over the Great Satanic Paper Tiger isn't enough for Baker's Bunch of Frenchies. Oh no, we have to make absolutely sure that Ahmadinnerjacket and Pencilneck Assad know that they've won by making concessions and granting them legitimacy by groveling before them.
The only rational way of "dealing directly" with psychotic regimes like those of Syria and Iran is by force. Overwhelming, uncompromising force. If you start negotiating with the pathologically insane, you only buy them time to perfect the plans they're going to carry out anyway, making the cost of the inevitable confrontation much more horrible with every passing day of inactivity. I thought that we learned that back in the 1930s, but obviously some people are exceedingly slow learners.
It's not enough for the Baker group to manufacture a total defeat for the U.S., they have to drag Israel down with them too. ... I can't WAIT for that whole generation of worthless, selfish, cowards (bush, Olmert, Baker, et al.) to point up their toes and quit wasting our oxygen. ... Unfortunately, the damage will have already be done, and generations to come will spend decades cursing the spineless weasels for the horrendous costs that their pathological fear of doing their jobs and confronting evil imposed upon them."
Now James Baker, an utterly worthless "diplomat" who not only fathered the idea to leave Saddam in power in the first Iraq war, but is also the name partner in a law firm representing Saudi Arabia against lawsuits filed by the families of murdered 9/11 victims, says we should talk to Iran and Syria (who are helping cause the problems in Iraq), set a timetable to get out (giving the enemy a heads-up as to when to attack), and to leave the Iraqis at the mercy of al-Qaida and other assorted Islamic butchers. I hope the President takes this "report" with a giant grain of salt, and that he sends a few thousand more troops in to crush the trouble areas...killing al-Sadr and wiping out his "army" would help too, but apparently he doesn't have the stones for that. I'm not sure the U.S. or anyone else can soothe or resolve the seething hatred between various Muslim groups. Frankly, at this point, I'm just about prepared to stand back, let the ululating savages kill each other, and us go in the aftermath to negotiate with the winner in the best "you either live with the world in peace or go meet Allah right now" tone we can muster.
"Ah, but of course. Merely creating a defeat and handing the ululating apes an enormous victory over the Great Satanic Paper Tiger isn't enough for Baker's Bunch of Frenchies. Oh no, we have to make absolutely sure that Ahmadinnerjacket and Pencilneck Assad know that they've won by making concessions and granting them legitimacy by groveling before them.
The only rational way of "dealing directly" with psychotic regimes like those of Syria and Iran is by force. Overwhelming, uncompromising force. If you start negotiating with the pathologically insane, you only buy them time to perfect the plans they're going to carry out anyway, making the cost of the inevitable confrontation much more horrible with every passing day of inactivity. I thought that we learned that back in the 1930s, but obviously some people are exceedingly slow learners.
It's not enough for the Baker group to manufacture a total defeat for the U.S., they have to drag Israel down with them too. ... I can't WAIT for that whole generation of worthless, selfish, cowards (bush, Olmert, Baker, et al.) to point up their toes and quit wasting our oxygen. ... Unfortunately, the damage will have already be done, and generations to come will spend decades cursing the spineless weasels for the horrendous costs that their pathological fear of doing their jobs and confronting evil imposed upon them."
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
No Koran for Keith Ellison at His Swear-in to Congress
Townhall.com columnist Dennis Prager has angered the radical Islamists, CAIR, and the usual multiculturalist suspects by suggesting that Islamic Congressman-elect Keith Ellison (D-MN) not be allowed to take his oath of office on the Koran. I completely agree with Dennis, but for somewhat different reasons. I don't want any Congressman being sworn in swearing to uphold or be loyal to ANY holy book...not the Koran, not the Bible, none of those things.
The oath they take is to uphold the Constitution of the United States, and the reason I would object to Mr. Ellison being sworn in with his hand on the Koran is because we are involved in a death struggle for the future of this nation with a huge number of radical adherents of that religion. Muslims, Christians, and everyone else are guaranteed freedom of religion in this country by virtue of The Constitution. Whether ceremonial or not, none of these religions have the right to demand that elected representatives being sworn into office to uphold and protect the U.S. Constitution be allowed to be so sworn in with their hand on a holy book, implying that somehow their religious beliefs and obligations stand superior to the duties required of them as elected representatives. A Muslim congressman was inevitable, but Mr. Ellison, CAIR, and the Nation of Islam are nuts if they think Americans will allow this to be another step toward American dhimmitude and submission to Islam.
"First, it is an act of hubris that perfectly exemplifies multiculturalist activism -- my culture trumps America's culture. What Ellison and his Muslim and leftist supporters are saying is that it is of no consequence what America holds as its holiest book; all that matters is what any individual holds to be his holiest book. ...
So why are we allowing Keith Ellison to do what no other member of Congress has ever done -- choose his own most revered book for his oath?
The answer is obvious -- Ellison is a Muslim. And whoever decides these matters, not to mention virtually every editorial page in America, is not going to offend a Muslim. In fact, many of these people argue it will be a good thing because Muslims around the world will see what an open society America is and how much Americans honor Muslims and the Koran. This argument appeals to all those who believe that one of the greatest goals of America is to be loved by the world, and especially by Muslims because then fewer Muslims will hate us (and therefore fewer will bomb us).
But these naive people do not appreciate that America will not change the attitude of a single American-hating Muslim by allowing Ellison to substitute the Koran for the Bible. In fact, the opposite is more likely: Ellison's doing so will embolden Islamic extremists and make new ones, as Islamists, rightly or wrongly, see the first sign of the realization of their greatest goal -- the Islamicization of America.
When all elected officials take their oaths of office with their hands on the very same book, they all affirm that some unifying value system underlies American civilization. If Keith Ellison is allowed to change that, he will be doing more damage to the unity of America and to the value system that has formed this country than the terrorists of 9-11. It is hard to believe that this is the legacy most Muslim Americans want to bequeath to America. But if it is, it is not only Europe that is in trouble."
The oath they take is to uphold the Constitution of the United States, and the reason I would object to Mr. Ellison being sworn in with his hand on the Koran is because we are involved in a death struggle for the future of this nation with a huge number of radical adherents of that religion. Muslims, Christians, and everyone else are guaranteed freedom of religion in this country by virtue of The Constitution. Whether ceremonial or not, none of these religions have the right to demand that elected representatives being sworn into office to uphold and protect the U.S. Constitution be allowed to be so sworn in with their hand on a holy book, implying that somehow their religious beliefs and obligations stand superior to the duties required of them as elected representatives. A Muslim congressman was inevitable, but Mr. Ellison, CAIR, and the Nation of Islam are nuts if they think Americans will allow this to be another step toward American dhimmitude and submission to Islam.
"First, it is an act of hubris that perfectly exemplifies multiculturalist activism -- my culture trumps America's culture. What Ellison and his Muslim and leftist supporters are saying is that it is of no consequence what America holds as its holiest book; all that matters is what any individual holds to be his holiest book. ...
So why are we allowing Keith Ellison to do what no other member of Congress has ever done -- choose his own most revered book for his oath?
The answer is obvious -- Ellison is a Muslim. And whoever decides these matters, not to mention virtually every editorial page in America, is not going to offend a Muslim. In fact, many of these people argue it will be a good thing because Muslims around the world will see what an open society America is and how much Americans honor Muslims and the Koran. This argument appeals to all those who believe that one of the greatest goals of America is to be loved by the world, and especially by Muslims because then fewer Muslims will hate us (and therefore fewer will bomb us).
But these naive people do not appreciate that America will not change the attitude of a single American-hating Muslim by allowing Ellison to substitute the Koran for the Bible. In fact, the opposite is more likely: Ellison's doing so will embolden Islamic extremists and make new ones, as Islamists, rightly or wrongly, see the first sign of the realization of their greatest goal -- the Islamicization of America.
When all elected officials take their oaths of office with their hands on the very same book, they all affirm that some unifying value system underlies American civilization. If Keith Ellison is allowed to change that, he will be doing more damage to the unity of America and to the value system that has formed this country than the terrorists of 9-11. It is hard to believe that this is the legacy most Muslim Americans want to bequeath to America. But if it is, it is not only Europe that is in trouble."
Monday, December 4, 2006
Titans over Colts on a SIXTY Yard Figgie at the Gun
Sorry for the lack of football picks in advance for this weekend, but I really didn't have too much invested in the college games going on over the weekend, and sometimes, there are definitely more important things in life that require our attention, as was the case this weekend :).
After sleeping in thanks to coming home late from Nashville, I got up in time to watch the Titans play the Colts in Nashville on TV yesterday. Having beaten the Titans sevent straight times by an average of 17 points, yesterday should have been an easy win for the Colts, and as they went up 14-0 in the first half, it looked like it might be 8 in a row...BUT, the Titans had gone 4-4 with Vince Young as the starting QB after starting 0-5, they played the Colts very tough at Indy a few weeks ago, and they pulled off a miraculous comeback against the Giants last week, so I wasn't ready to count them out. Slowly, they began chipping away at the lead, they came up with a few defensive stops they needed, and found themselves tied with the mighty Colts in the final minute. Vince Young drove them down the field, but on the last play before the field goal, he slipped, hurt his ankle, and limped off the field...not a good omen if they have to play OT.
As they set up for the final play, it would be a 60 yard FG try for Titans' PK Rob Bironas (who had a career long of 53 coming in), and I had a sinking feeling that if he missed it and the game went to OT, the Colts would steal this one...BUT, the Titans are a young team playing with confidence and the wind was at his back. I actually was a place kicker, among other things, when I played football in HS and college. The longest kick I ever made was 50 yards, and that was in practice, with no rush, and certainly not with 60,000+ fans screaming in my ear...so I knew it would be a tough kick. I watched the kick attempt unfold, the snap was good, the kick looked solid, it cleared the line (always a concern with long FGs b/c the ball comes out at a lower trajectory), and I thought, hey, it looks accurate, wait, it could make it, HOLY CRAP, the guy behind the goalposts caught it...IT'S GOOD!!! Titans' color man Mike Keith was just about as speechless as I was, I ran around my hotel room like a little kid, yelling, "No way, he made it, Oh my God, no freakin' way, I can't believe what I just saw!" That, my friends, was a fun game to watch. Now, the Titans are 5-4 since Vince Young took over, the D is starting to come together, and the special teams are among the best in the league. They won't make the playoffs this year, but they are a legitimately frisky and dangerous young team that is going places in 2007 and that no one wants to play down the stretch this season...should be interesting and fun to watch.
After sleeping in thanks to coming home late from Nashville, I got up in time to watch the Titans play the Colts in Nashville on TV yesterday. Having beaten the Titans sevent straight times by an average of 17 points, yesterday should have been an easy win for the Colts, and as they went up 14-0 in the first half, it looked like it might be 8 in a row...BUT, the Titans had gone 4-4 with Vince Young as the starting QB after starting 0-5, they played the Colts very tough at Indy a few weeks ago, and they pulled off a miraculous comeback against the Giants last week, so I wasn't ready to count them out. Slowly, they began chipping away at the lead, they came up with a few defensive stops they needed, and found themselves tied with the mighty Colts in the final minute. Vince Young drove them down the field, but on the last play before the field goal, he slipped, hurt his ankle, and limped off the field...not a good omen if they have to play OT.
As they set up for the final play, it would be a 60 yard FG try for Titans' PK Rob Bironas (who had a career long of 53 coming in), and I had a sinking feeling that if he missed it and the game went to OT, the Colts would steal this one...BUT, the Titans are a young team playing with confidence and the wind was at his back. I actually was a place kicker, among other things, when I played football in HS and college. The longest kick I ever made was 50 yards, and that was in practice, with no rush, and certainly not with 60,000+ fans screaming in my ear...so I knew it would be a tough kick. I watched the kick attempt unfold, the snap was good, the kick looked solid, it cleared the line (always a concern with long FGs b/c the ball comes out at a lower trajectory), and I thought, hey, it looks accurate, wait, it could make it, HOLY CRAP, the guy behind the goalposts caught it...IT'S GOOD!!! Titans' color man Mike Keith was just about as speechless as I was, I ran around my hotel room like a little kid, yelling, "No way, he made it, Oh my God, no freakin' way, I can't believe what I just saw!" That, my friends, was a fun game to watch. Now, the Titans are 5-4 since Vince Young took over, the D is starting to come together, and the special teams are among the best in the league. They won't make the playoffs this year, but they are a legitimately frisky and dangerous young team that is going places in 2007 and that no one wants to play down the stretch this season...should be interesting and fun to watch.
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Amnesty and Mexico Can Both Go Pound Sand
Via World Net Daily, Emperor Misha (language alert!), and Congressman Steve King (R-IA), we get a disturbing report of the havoc wrought on American citizens every day throughout the year by illegal immigrant criminals (yes, I know, I repeat myself). Ask yourself why in the name of Beelzebub's left testicle we should give any of these lawbreakers amnesty and citizenship. I don't care how many good, hard working people want to get in this country...I'd sooner keep 10,000 of them out than run the risk of a single American citizen getting murdered, killed by a drunk driver, or raped by an illegal immigrant. The death toll of Americans killed by illegals in a single year outstrips the number of American soldiers killed in Iraq since the beginning of the war! Build that fence and militarize the border, and then MAYBE we talk about what to do with the lawbreakers already here...not a second before.
Emperor Misha
"And don't anybody out there even pretend to be shocked, SHOCKED at the crime rate among illegal aliens. What did you expect? Their very first act in this country was to break the law by entering illegally. Why would you expect people who have already shown complete disregard for the law to turn into model citizens? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I welcome immigration...LEGAL immigration. If you don't have the common courtesy or most BASIC of respects for the country you wish to move to, then WE DON'T NEED YOU HERE.
If somebody walked into your company and applied for a job, telling you proudly that his first achievement in the workforce was embezzling his employer into bankruptcy, would you hire him? Then why the FU*K would we want to grant full amnesty and citizenship to people whose first act in this country was to violate our laws and who have been violating them ever since?
Explain THAT to me."
World Net Daily and Congressman King
"Twelve Americans are murdered every day by illegal aliens, according to statistics released by Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa. If those numbers are correct, it translates to 4,380 Americans murdered annually by illegal aliens. That's 21,900 since Sept. 11, 2001. Total U.S. troop deaths in Iraq as of last week were reported at 2,863. Total U.S. troop deaths in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Uzbekistan during the five years of the Afghan campaign are currently at 289, according to the Department of Defense. But the carnage wrought by illegal alien murderers represents only a fraction of the pool of blood spilled by American citizens as a result of an open border and un-enforced immigration laws.
While King reports 12 Americans are murdered daily by illegal aliens, he says 13 are killed by drunk illegal alien drivers – for another annual death toll of 4,745. That's 23,725 since Sept. 11, 2001. While no one – in or out of government – tracks all U.S. accidents caused by illegal aliens, the statistical and anecdotal evidence suggests many of last year's 42,636 road deaths involved illegal aliens.
A report by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Study found 20 percent of fatal accidents involve at least one driver who lacks a valid license. In California, another study showed that those who have never held a valid license are about five times more likely to be involved in a fatal road accident than licensed drivers. Statistically, that makes them an even greater danger on the road than drivers whose licenses have been suspended or revoked – and nearly as dangerous as drunk drivers.
King also reports eight American children are victims of sexual abuse by illegal aliens every day – a total of 2,920 annually. Based on a one-year in-depth study, Deborah Schurman-Kauflin of the Violent Crimes Institute of Atlanta estimates there are about 240,000 illegal immigrant sex offenders in the United States who have had an average of four victims each. She analyzed 1,500 cases from January 1999 through April 2006 that included serial rapes, serial murders, sexual homicides and child molestation committed by illegal immigrants.
As the number of illegal aliens in the U.S. increases, so does the number of American victims. According to Edwin Rubenstien, president of ESR Research Economic Consultants, in Indianapolis in 1980, federal and state correctional facilities held fewer than 9,000 criminal aliens. But at the end of 2003, approximately 267,000 illegal aliens were incarcerated in all U.S. jails and prisons.
While the federal government doesn't track illegal alien murders, illegal alien rapes or illegal alien drunk driving deaths, it has studied illegal aliens incarcerated in U.S. prisons. In April 2005, the Government Accountability Office released a report on a study of 55,322 illegal aliens incarcerated in federal, state, and local facilities during 2003. It found the following:
The 55,322 illegal aliens studied represented a total of 459,614 arrests – some eight arrests per illegal alien;
Their arrests represented a total of about 700,000 criminal offenses – some 13 offenses per illegal alien;
36 percent had been arrested at least five times before.
"While the vast majority of illegal aliens are decent people who work hard and are only trying to make a better life for themselves and their families, (something you or I would probably do if we were in their place), it is also a fact that a disproportionately high percentage of illegal aliens are criminals and sexual predators," states Peter Wagner, author of a new report called "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration." "That is part of the dark side of illegal immigration and when we allow the 'good' in we get the 'bad' along with them. The question is, how much 'bad' is acceptable and at what price?"
Emperor Misha
"And don't anybody out there even pretend to be shocked, SHOCKED at the crime rate among illegal aliens. What did you expect? Their very first act in this country was to break the law by entering illegally. Why would you expect people who have already shown complete disregard for the law to turn into model citizens? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I welcome immigration...LEGAL immigration. If you don't have the common courtesy or most BASIC of respects for the country you wish to move to, then WE DON'T NEED YOU HERE.
If somebody walked into your company and applied for a job, telling you proudly that his first achievement in the workforce was embezzling his employer into bankruptcy, would you hire him? Then why the FU*K would we want to grant full amnesty and citizenship to people whose first act in this country was to violate our laws and who have been violating them ever since?
Explain THAT to me."
World Net Daily and Congressman King
"Twelve Americans are murdered every day by illegal aliens, according to statistics released by Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa. If those numbers are correct, it translates to 4,380 Americans murdered annually by illegal aliens. That's 21,900 since Sept. 11, 2001. Total U.S. troop deaths in Iraq as of last week were reported at 2,863. Total U.S. troop deaths in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Uzbekistan during the five years of the Afghan campaign are currently at 289, according to the Department of Defense. But the carnage wrought by illegal alien murderers represents only a fraction of the pool of blood spilled by American citizens as a result of an open border and un-enforced immigration laws.
While King reports 12 Americans are murdered daily by illegal aliens, he says 13 are killed by drunk illegal alien drivers – for another annual death toll of 4,745. That's 23,725 since Sept. 11, 2001. While no one – in or out of government – tracks all U.S. accidents caused by illegal aliens, the statistical and anecdotal evidence suggests many of last year's 42,636 road deaths involved illegal aliens.
A report by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Study found 20 percent of fatal accidents involve at least one driver who lacks a valid license. In California, another study showed that those who have never held a valid license are about five times more likely to be involved in a fatal road accident than licensed drivers. Statistically, that makes them an even greater danger on the road than drivers whose licenses have been suspended or revoked – and nearly as dangerous as drunk drivers.
King also reports eight American children are victims of sexual abuse by illegal aliens every day – a total of 2,920 annually. Based on a one-year in-depth study, Deborah Schurman-Kauflin of the Violent Crimes Institute of Atlanta estimates there are about 240,000 illegal immigrant sex offenders in the United States who have had an average of four victims each. She analyzed 1,500 cases from January 1999 through April 2006 that included serial rapes, serial murders, sexual homicides and child molestation committed by illegal immigrants.
As the number of illegal aliens in the U.S. increases, so does the number of American victims. According to Edwin Rubenstien, president of ESR Research Economic Consultants, in Indianapolis in 1980, federal and state correctional facilities held fewer than 9,000 criminal aliens. But at the end of 2003, approximately 267,000 illegal aliens were incarcerated in all U.S. jails and prisons.
While the federal government doesn't track illegal alien murders, illegal alien rapes or illegal alien drunk driving deaths, it has studied illegal aliens incarcerated in U.S. prisons. In April 2005, the Government Accountability Office released a report on a study of 55,322 illegal aliens incarcerated in federal, state, and local facilities during 2003. It found the following:
The 55,322 illegal aliens studied represented a total of 459,614 arrests – some eight arrests per illegal alien;
Their arrests represented a total of about 700,000 criminal offenses – some 13 offenses per illegal alien;
36 percent had been arrested at least five times before.
"While the vast majority of illegal aliens are decent people who work hard and are only trying to make a better life for themselves and their families, (something you or I would probably do if we were in their place), it is also a fact that a disproportionately high percentage of illegal aliens are criminals and sexual predators," states Peter Wagner, author of a new report called "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration." "That is part of the dark side of illegal immigration and when we allow the 'good' in we get the 'bad' along with them. The question is, how much 'bad' is acceptable and at what price?"
Saturday, December 2, 2006
The Sports Gal on Christmas Gifts
Bill Simmons, my favorite ESPN.com writer, goes by the handle "The Sports Guy", so natch, his wife is "The Sports Gal". This year, during his weekly Friday NFL football pick columns, she makes picks too and gets to tell a story, give advice, or some other such thing that appeals to female readers of the column. This time, she gives her advice on holiday gift tips for guys re: women...much hilarity ensues, and it's not to be missed...by the way, she is leading him by four games worth of NFL picks this season with about 5 weeks left to go until the playoffs. If she beats him, his manhood may never recover, and his readers, myself included, will never let him hear the end of it.
"There are two kinds of bad Xmas gifts: Copout Gifts and Just Plain Bad Gifts. Every guy reading this needs to avoid them both. Some examples:
Copout Gifts: (1) a gift certificate to a spa (screams, "I put no thought whatsoever into this"); (2) a vacation to any locale that just so happens to have gambling (we're not stupid); (3) a homemade gift certificate promising stuff like taking out the trash, walking the dog, dates or back rubs (cute idea, but they never get turned in and from my experience, they expire); (4) a box of candy (makes us mad because we can't resist and we're already worried about holiday weight); and, of course, (5) cash.
Just Plain Bad Gifts: (1) Any household items like blenders, toasters or anything that has potential to be on a bridal registry (this will really anger a girl if you're not engaged yet); (2) nothing from a mall chain jewelry store unless you're broke (and if you have to, change the box); (3) a sports car for your wife that you know you'll end up driving once you knock her up and she's stuck driving an SUV or minivan; (4) Victoria's Secret nighties that would only look good on one of the mannequins in the store; (5) gym memberships, Jenny Craig or Trim Spa (unless you want to be killed in your sleep).
While we're here, four gifts that will work: (1) a Nano IPod with 100 of her favorite songs already on there; (2) quality cashmere anything (scarf, sweater, hat, gloves); (3) a thoughtful book with a nice note inside; and (4) the "Grey's Anatomy" box set (it's the new "Sex and the City"). Also, please don't e-mail Bill to say that I "mailed it in" this week because this stuff is super important. If you still plan on e-mailing him to say that, go to hell."
"There are two kinds of bad Xmas gifts: Copout Gifts and Just Plain Bad Gifts. Every guy reading this needs to avoid them both. Some examples:
Copout Gifts: (1) a gift certificate to a spa (screams, "I put no thought whatsoever into this"); (2) a vacation to any locale that just so happens to have gambling (we're not stupid); (3) a homemade gift certificate promising stuff like taking out the trash, walking the dog, dates or back rubs (cute idea, but they never get turned in and from my experience, they expire); (4) a box of candy (makes us mad because we can't resist and we're already worried about holiday weight); and, of course, (5) cash.
Just Plain Bad Gifts: (1) Any household items like blenders, toasters or anything that has potential to be on a bridal registry (this will really anger a girl if you're not engaged yet); (2) nothing from a mall chain jewelry store unless you're broke (and if you have to, change the box); (3) a sports car for your wife that you know you'll end up driving once you knock her up and she's stuck driving an SUV or minivan; (4) Victoria's Secret nighties that would only look good on one of the mannequins in the store; (5) gym memberships, Jenny Craig or Trim Spa (unless you want to be killed in your sleep).
While we're here, four gifts that will work: (1) a Nano IPod with 100 of her favorite songs already on there; (2) quality cashmere anything (scarf, sweater, hat, gloves); (3) a thoughtful book with a nice note inside; and (4) the "Grey's Anatomy" box set (it's the new "Sex and the City"). Also, please don't e-mail Bill to say that I "mailed it in" this week because this stuff is super important. If you still plan on e-mailing him to say that, go to hell."
Friday, December 1, 2006
Never Close the Blinds
Slagle Rock blog explains why we fight...so our children will never have to close the blinds.
"The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation. My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window.
He said, "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"
"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses," he replied.
"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush."
Our son giggled and said "OK."
"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.
"OK Dad, I'm pretending."
"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death. Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this, son....what do you do?"
"Dad?"
"What do you do son?"
"I'd call the police, Dad."
"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call. They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?"
"Dad...but the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine.
"They don't want to, son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.
"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.
"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children."
"Daddy...he kills them?"
"Yes, son, he does. What do you do?"
"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him," our son says.
"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.
"But Dad, I NEED help! I can't stop him by myself!"
"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry. "OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next, son?"
"What Daddy?"
"He walks across the street to the old lady's house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"
"Daddy..."
"WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, "I'd close the blinds, Daddy."
My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him, "Why?"
"Because, Daddy...the police are supposed to help people who need them...and they won't help...You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself, Daddy...I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and do nothing...so...I'm just going to close the blinds...so I can't see what he's doing...and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening."
I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says..."Son?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Open the blinds because that man.... He's at your front door..."WHAT DO YOU DO?"
My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in the eyes, without hesitation he says: "I DEFEND MY FAMILY, DAD! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!"
I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his chest and hugs him tight, and says, "It's too late to fight him, he's too strong and he's already at YOUR front door son.....you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady across the way. You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it alone, before its too late," my husband whispers.
That scenario I just gave you is WHY we are at war with Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen, son, THAT is the greatest atrocity in the world. You must never be afraid to do what is right, even if you have to do it alone. Be proud to be an American and be proud of our troops...support them and support America, so that in the future, our children will never have to close the blinds."
"The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation. My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window.
He said, "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"
"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses," he replied.
"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush."
Our son giggled and said "OK."
"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.
"OK Dad, I'm pretending."
"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death. Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this, son....what do you do?"
"Dad?"
"What do you do son?"
"I'd call the police, Dad."
"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call. They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?"
"Dad...but the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine.
"They don't want to, son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.
"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.
"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children."
"Daddy...he kills them?"
"Yes, son, he does. What do you do?"
"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him," our son says.
"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.
"But Dad, I NEED help! I can't stop him by myself!"
"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry. "OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next, son?"
"What Daddy?"
"He walks across the street to the old lady's house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"
"Daddy..."
"WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, "I'd close the blinds, Daddy."
My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him, "Why?"
"Because, Daddy...the police are supposed to help people who need them...and they won't help...You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself, Daddy...I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and do nothing...so...I'm just going to close the blinds...so I can't see what he's doing...and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening."
I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says..."Son?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Open the blinds because that man.... He's at your front door..."WHAT DO YOU DO?"
My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in the eyes, without hesitation he says: "I DEFEND MY FAMILY, DAD! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!"
I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his chest and hugs him tight, and says, "It's too late to fight him, he's too strong and he's already at YOUR front door son.....you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady across the way. You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it alone, before its too late," my husband whispers.
That scenario I just gave you is WHY we are at war with Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen, son, THAT is the greatest atrocity in the world. You must never be afraid to do what is right, even if you have to do it alone. Be proud to be an American and be proud of our troops...support them and support America, so that in the future, our children will never have to close the blinds."
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