OK, since yesterday's pre-election post was all serious, here's something extremely funny that sums up how I think most average Americans really feel about election day anytime it happens (Hat Tip: Amanda's blog)...read it all, I haven't stopped laughing yet. Remember, things don't change much from politician to politician!
"A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Singular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?!"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog!"
Tuesday, November 7, 2006
Monday, November 6, 2006
2006 Mid-Term Election Predictions
Tomorrow is going to be an interesting midterm election day, and it should come right down to the wire...I'm definitely curious to see how it turns out. If this election had been held when the Mark Foley scandal broke, or even a week ago, then it would have been the Democrat landslide predicted by the media for months now. My uneducated (at least in the vote prediction realm) guesses take into account the electorate's dissatisfaction with Iraq, anger from the GOP base at its party not acting like conservatives for the most part, and the GOP's superior voter turnout efforts. Forgive the length and skip it if it bores you...my feelings won't be hurt.
In terms of the House races, I've seen predictions of the GOP losing anywhere from 8-30 seats, with the Dems needing 15 to take control. The GOP will lose some seats, and this bloger believes it will be about 13 seats, with the GOP retaining a razor-thin majority. Say what you want about Karl Rove, but he hasn't been wrong in his election predictions yet...the GOP hasn't lost one with him at the helm. So, until the Dems prove him wrong, the talk of Speaker Nancy Pelosi should be put on hold.
Regarding the Senate, I just don't think the Dems have enough to take over the chamber, although, as with the House, the GOP majority will definitely shrink. Washington state is just too blue, so Maria Cantwell (D) should win re-election there by about 8 points. Ditto for Minnesota, although if this were 2004, Rep. Mark Kennedy (R) might spring the upset. Although Kennedy is the far superior candidate and Amy Klobuchar (D) is a lightweight and an empty vessel save Democrat talking points, she will probably win, and she'll likely be bounced in 2012. In New Jersey, Robert Menendez (D) and Tom Kean, Jr. (R) are in a statistical dead heat. New Jersey is also a blue state, but there has been a wave of dissatisfaction there due to oppressive taxes, etc. If anyone can win, it's Kean, Jr., because his father has a very popular name in N.J. politics, but I think Menendez, corrupt though he may be, will probably pull out a squeaker of a win (2-4 points).
Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) is one of the better senators in the GOP in terms of his voting record on things like judges, taxes, illegal immigration, and national defense. Unfortunately, he represents a blue state that went to Kerry in 2004. And although his opponent Bob Casey (D) is a lightweight just like Amy Klobuchar in MN, he has a famous family name in PA politics on which to trade, and he'll likely oust Sen. Santorum for the Dems first pickup. In deep blue Maryland, Paul Sarbanes (D) is retiring, and African-American Lt. Gov. Michael Steele (R) is vying with (white) Rep. Ben Cardin (D) for the open seat. Until as late as a week ago, this was thought to be a safe Democrat seat, but Steele has picked up some major endorsements from prominent black leaders and officials, he has run a dynamite campaign, and now the race is a dead heat and the Dems are in panic mode. If Steele can get even 1/4 to 1/3 of the black vote, he will upset Cardin, and I think he pulls it off in the shocker of the election.
In Ohio, Sen. Mike DeWine (R) has consistently trailed Rep. Sherrod Brown (D) throughout the campaign. DeWine is getting killed because of the GOP corruption at the state level (GOP governor) and federal level (former Rep. Bob Ney in the Abramoff scandal), and while the GOP vote turnout efforts will close the gap, he still loses, maybe by as much as 10 points. In a vicious race in Virginia, George Allen (R) has been locked in a dirty campaign with Jim Webb (D), a former Reagan Administration official. Although this race dashed any hopes Allen had of running for President in 2008, Virginia is a red state, Webb is a lightweight with his own baggage, and he'll fall short in the end, with Allen winning a little bigger than expected (6 points or so).
Missouri is also a slightly red state, where incumbent Jim Talent (R) is locked in a heated campaign with upstart Claire McCaskill (D), who has run a better than expected campaign, including the Michael J. Fox commercials, which played fast and loose with the truth at best. McCaskill may get within a point or two, but Talent will win a close one. In Rhode Island, Lincoln Chafee (RINO) has close the gap on Sheldon Whitehouse (D), and in truth, I really don't care who wins this one because the votes will be almost identical, so I think Whitehouse wins a close one and no one cares unless the balance of the Senate hangs on the result, in which case the GOP is dead anyway. Pres. Bush took Montana by about 20 points in 2004, and Jon Tester (D) has run a reasonably mistake-free race against incumbent Conrad Burns (R), who is hurt by his ties to the Abramoff scandal. It could go either way and it wouldn't surprise me, b/c Montana already has one Democrat senator, but I don't think it's ready for two, so take Burns in a mild upset to keep the seat.
Finally, in Tennessee, it's Harold Ford, Jr. (D) vs. Bob Corker (R). Let me start by saying that if I had my choice of anyone from the primaries, it would be Rep Ed Bryant (R), but he lost to Corker, so that isn't a possibility. This race has gotten testy as the weeks went on, with personal attacks akin to those in VA (neither of which have any place in politics) and overhyped accusations of racism against Corker. As Democrats go, Ford is not terrible, nothing like Nancy Pelosi and her ilk anyway. His votes on illegal immigration and some other important issues were correct, but he's still a bit too fond of high taxes for most TN voters. Also, I think his crashing of one of Corker's press conferences reflected very poorly on him as a professional. Corker reminds a lot of people of Bill Frist, a solid Republican without much in the way of passion, etc. If this election were in 2008, I think Ford would win going away, but this year, Corker will eke out a close win, no more than a point or two.
So, per the split and polarization of voters nationwide, in the House, the GOP should have something like a 220-215 or 219-216 majority, and the Senate should go about 52-48 or 51-49 in favor of the GOP.
In terms of the House races, I've seen predictions of the GOP losing anywhere from 8-30 seats, with the Dems needing 15 to take control. The GOP will lose some seats, and this bloger believes it will be about 13 seats, with the GOP retaining a razor-thin majority. Say what you want about Karl Rove, but he hasn't been wrong in his election predictions yet...the GOP hasn't lost one with him at the helm. So, until the Dems prove him wrong, the talk of Speaker Nancy Pelosi should be put on hold.
Regarding the Senate, I just don't think the Dems have enough to take over the chamber, although, as with the House, the GOP majority will definitely shrink. Washington state is just too blue, so Maria Cantwell (D) should win re-election there by about 8 points. Ditto for Minnesota, although if this were 2004, Rep. Mark Kennedy (R) might spring the upset. Although Kennedy is the far superior candidate and Amy Klobuchar (D) is a lightweight and an empty vessel save Democrat talking points, she will probably win, and she'll likely be bounced in 2012. In New Jersey, Robert Menendez (D) and Tom Kean, Jr. (R) are in a statistical dead heat. New Jersey is also a blue state, but there has been a wave of dissatisfaction there due to oppressive taxes, etc. If anyone can win, it's Kean, Jr., because his father has a very popular name in N.J. politics, but I think Menendez, corrupt though he may be, will probably pull out a squeaker of a win (2-4 points).
Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) is one of the better senators in the GOP in terms of his voting record on things like judges, taxes, illegal immigration, and national defense. Unfortunately, he represents a blue state that went to Kerry in 2004. And although his opponent Bob Casey (D) is a lightweight just like Amy Klobuchar in MN, he has a famous family name in PA politics on which to trade, and he'll likely oust Sen. Santorum for the Dems first pickup. In deep blue Maryland, Paul Sarbanes (D) is retiring, and African-American Lt. Gov. Michael Steele (R) is vying with (white) Rep. Ben Cardin (D) for the open seat. Until as late as a week ago, this was thought to be a safe Democrat seat, but Steele has picked up some major endorsements from prominent black leaders and officials, he has run a dynamite campaign, and now the race is a dead heat and the Dems are in panic mode. If Steele can get even 1/4 to 1/3 of the black vote, he will upset Cardin, and I think he pulls it off in the shocker of the election.
In Ohio, Sen. Mike DeWine (R) has consistently trailed Rep. Sherrod Brown (D) throughout the campaign. DeWine is getting killed because of the GOP corruption at the state level (GOP governor) and federal level (former Rep. Bob Ney in the Abramoff scandal), and while the GOP vote turnout efforts will close the gap, he still loses, maybe by as much as 10 points. In a vicious race in Virginia, George Allen (R) has been locked in a dirty campaign with Jim Webb (D), a former Reagan Administration official. Although this race dashed any hopes Allen had of running for President in 2008, Virginia is a red state, Webb is a lightweight with his own baggage, and he'll fall short in the end, with Allen winning a little bigger than expected (6 points or so).
Missouri is also a slightly red state, where incumbent Jim Talent (R) is locked in a heated campaign with upstart Claire McCaskill (D), who has run a better than expected campaign, including the Michael J. Fox commercials, which played fast and loose with the truth at best. McCaskill may get within a point or two, but Talent will win a close one. In Rhode Island, Lincoln Chafee (RINO) has close the gap on Sheldon Whitehouse (D), and in truth, I really don't care who wins this one because the votes will be almost identical, so I think Whitehouse wins a close one and no one cares unless the balance of the Senate hangs on the result, in which case the GOP is dead anyway. Pres. Bush took Montana by about 20 points in 2004, and Jon Tester (D) has run a reasonably mistake-free race against incumbent Conrad Burns (R), who is hurt by his ties to the Abramoff scandal. It could go either way and it wouldn't surprise me, b/c Montana already has one Democrat senator, but I don't think it's ready for two, so take Burns in a mild upset to keep the seat.
Finally, in Tennessee, it's Harold Ford, Jr. (D) vs. Bob Corker (R). Let me start by saying that if I had my choice of anyone from the primaries, it would be Rep Ed Bryant (R), but he lost to Corker, so that isn't a possibility. This race has gotten testy as the weeks went on, with personal attacks akin to those in VA (neither of which have any place in politics) and overhyped accusations of racism against Corker. As Democrats go, Ford is not terrible, nothing like Nancy Pelosi and her ilk anyway. His votes on illegal immigration and some other important issues were correct, but he's still a bit too fond of high taxes for most TN voters. Also, I think his crashing of one of Corker's press conferences reflected very poorly on him as a professional. Corker reminds a lot of people of Bill Frist, a solid Republican without much in the way of passion, etc. If this election were in 2008, I think Ford would win going away, but this year, Corker will eke out a close win, no more than a point or two.
So, per the split and polarization of voters nationwide, in the House, the GOP should have something like a 220-215 or 219-216 majority, and the Senate should go about 52-48 or 51-49 in favor of the GOP.
Sunday, November 5, 2006
Saddam Hussein, The Bell Tolls for Thee...and for UT
An Iraqi court today found deposed dictator, murderer, and torturer Saddam Hussein guillty of crimes against humanity. Although there is a mandatory appeals process for all death sentences in the new Iraq, it looks like he will ultimately be hanged for his crimes. No matter your feelings on the war, this is a day of justice for the victims of his merciless crimes. Pajamas Media has one of the better roundups in the blogosphere of the news of and worldwide reaction to Saddam's verdict and sentence. My favorite part...? Even the biased MSM says he was "visibly shaken"...I hope he lives every moment of the rest of his miserable life in utter fear, because after the life he has led and the lives he has ended, the hangman's noose will feel like a motherly hug compared to that which awaits him in the afterlife. Read it all, especially the Prime Minister of Iraq's statement, which I have excerpted below.
"The days of Saddam and tyranny is over. These are the days of rules of law. No sector will have supremacy over another….Saddam's crimes belong to no sector and the track record of his regime is a disgrace in history of those who have inflicted pain on the Iraqi people all over the sountry. We are surprised that anybody calls for the release of a dictator since it is the Iraqi court that decides fates."
As for the weekend in Tennessee football, my prediction for UT to lose a heartbreak to the Tigers was spot on. In losing on a TD pass with 9 seconds left, which is tough for anyone, the bell tolled on their national championship and SEC title hopes for the year. In this case, it wasn't that the refs screwed them, it wasn't bad weather, or anything else for that matter. They just went toe-to-toe with a very good LSU football team and came up short for the same reasons the Vols almost always come up short when it matters...inability to run the football in crunch time against great defenses, inability to get off the field on third down, playing a prevent defense with the game on the line, and, as always, the lack of killer instinct needed to put away teams on the ropes. Backup QB Jonathan Crompton played a fine ballgame for a redhsirt freshman after Erik Ainge went down, but he can't do it all on his own. As for the Titans, just an absolute train wreck...QB Vince Young threw three embarrassingly easy INTs, two of them returned for touchdowns. The Titans looked badly overmatched in just about every area of the game, and at this rate, it may be 2008 before they even sniff .500 again.
"The days of Saddam and tyranny is over. These are the days of rules of law. No sector will have supremacy over another….Saddam's crimes belong to no sector and the track record of his regime is a disgrace in history of those who have inflicted pain on the Iraqi people all over the sountry. We are surprised that anybody calls for the release of a dictator since it is the Iraqi court that decides fates."
As for the weekend in Tennessee football, my prediction for UT to lose a heartbreak to the Tigers was spot on. In losing on a TD pass with 9 seconds left, which is tough for anyone, the bell tolled on their national championship and SEC title hopes for the year. In this case, it wasn't that the refs screwed them, it wasn't bad weather, or anything else for that matter. They just went toe-to-toe with a very good LSU football team and came up short for the same reasons the Vols almost always come up short when it matters...inability to run the football in crunch time against great defenses, inability to get off the field on third down, playing a prevent defense with the game on the line, and, as always, the lack of killer instinct needed to put away teams on the ropes. Backup QB Jonathan Crompton played a fine ballgame for a redhsirt freshman after Erik Ainge went down, but he can't do it all on his own. As for the Titans, just an absolute train wreck...QB Vince Young threw three embarrassingly easy INTs, two of them returned for touchdowns. The Titans looked badly overmatched in just about every area of the game, and at this rate, it may be 2008 before they even sniff .500 again.
Saturday, November 4, 2006
November Football Separates the Men From the Boys
I don't know if it's a trend, but the NFL has gone the past couple of weeks having more big-time, upper tier games than the NCAA. Not to say there aren't some meaningful and exciting college games, especially the Louisville-W. Virginia slugfest from Thursday night, it's just that the last couple of weekends there have been more games in the NFL with intriguing matchups where I think, "Man, I really want to see that game." I am skipping playing my weekly football pool this week because I've really stunk up the joint the last couple of weeks with all the upsets (haven't even broken .500 two weeks straight), so I could use a break. OK, now on with the picks...
NCAA
Florida vs Vanderbilt- Florida has the worst part of its schedule over and came out of it better than anyone could have imagined at 7-1...all they have to do is win out and the SEC East is theirs. It'll be tough, but I think they'll get by South Carolina and Steve Spurrier next week and Vanderbilt this week. The game is in Nashville, and Vandy QB Chris Nickson is more mobile than Jay Cutler, but he doesn't have Cutler's arm and makes more mistakes. Figure on a couple of killer interceptions thrown by Nickson, a solid defensive effort by the Florida D, and just enough Gator offense to walk out of Nashville with a close win...Gators 28-21.
Florida Atlantic vs. MTSU- Florida Atlantic has a better than average Sun Belt defense and a below average offense. MTSU has a good enough run D to shut down FAU and should muster enough offense to win...I just don't think the Blue Raiders will be beaten in Murfreesboro, not by this team this time...take the Blue Raiders here, 20-9.
LSU vs. Tennessee- I've gone back and forth on this game all week, and it mostly depends on how Erik Ainge's ankle holds up and who wins the turnover battle. LSU has one of the top defenses in the country, and UT has had real trouble mustering a running game against top-flight competition without LaMarcus Coker, who is still out. I want UT to win, I think they have the athletes for it, I wouldn't be surprised if they did win, and it is at home in Knoxville, but I just can't pick them. They've looked subpar the last couple of weeks, and they couldn't get it done against Florida when it mattered most, so until they prove they can, I have to pick against them...LSU 19, UT 17...in a heartbreaker.
NFL
Baltimore at Cincinnati- Steve McNair has been just plain lucky this season, catching more breaks this season with the Ravens than all his Titans seasons combined. The Ravens' D comes and goes, but their secondary is consistently vulnerable. Carson Palmer is a better QB than McNair, and the Bengals receivers are better top to bottom than the Ravens' secondary. Look for Chad Johnson to be mostly clamped down, but the other receivers should have a big day if Palmer can keep his jersey clean. With the home crowd behind them, the Bengals take control of the AFC North with a hard fought 23-16 win.
Titans at Jaguars- Vince Young is getting better by the week even though his numbers aren't so great. What matters is he has led the team to consecutive victories with a chance for 3 in a row. The Jags are very banged up on D and have a mini-QB controversy as David Garrard starts for a second week in a row. This should be a fun and interesting game, but unless Fred Taylor plays like he did last week or the Titans commit a bunch of turnovers, the Titans should win in a mild upset, 27-21.
Denver vs. Pittsburgh- Denver's D got carved up by Peyton and the Colts last week, but they should rebound nicely against the Steelers struggling offense. Also, the Denver power running game stepped up nicely to provide a compliment to Tatum Bell, so look for more power runs this week. The Pittsburgh D has been playing well enough to win, but the offense keeps them on the field too long by not making enough plays. It's at Heinz Field so it will be close, but the Broncos are just too good to lose to this version of the Steelers. Denver puts a nail in the Steelers playoff coffin, Broncos 30, Steelers 21.
Colts at Patriots- This game in Foxboro is the Week 9 version of the Colts-Broncos showdown for AFC supremacy from last week. I know the Colts won here last year and that Peyton has looked great all season, but after the way the Pats demolished the Vikings on Monday night passing and the way Denver ran the ball down the Colts' throat last week, it's going to be a looooong day for the Indy D. The Pats might rush for 200 yards between Maroney and Dillon, and add that to Tom Brady's pinpoint passing and that leaves Manning on the sidelines most of the game. The Patriots should win here, but it's no surprise if these teams meet again in the playoffs, Patriots win this one and avenge last year's loss at home, Pats 34, Colts 27.
NCAA
Florida vs Vanderbilt- Florida has the worst part of its schedule over and came out of it better than anyone could have imagined at 7-1...all they have to do is win out and the SEC East is theirs. It'll be tough, but I think they'll get by South Carolina and Steve Spurrier next week and Vanderbilt this week. The game is in Nashville, and Vandy QB Chris Nickson is more mobile than Jay Cutler, but he doesn't have Cutler's arm and makes more mistakes. Figure on a couple of killer interceptions thrown by Nickson, a solid defensive effort by the Florida D, and just enough Gator offense to walk out of Nashville with a close win...Gators 28-21.
Florida Atlantic vs. MTSU- Florida Atlantic has a better than average Sun Belt defense and a below average offense. MTSU has a good enough run D to shut down FAU and should muster enough offense to win...I just don't think the Blue Raiders will be beaten in Murfreesboro, not by this team this time...take the Blue Raiders here, 20-9.
LSU vs. Tennessee- I've gone back and forth on this game all week, and it mostly depends on how Erik Ainge's ankle holds up and who wins the turnover battle. LSU has one of the top defenses in the country, and UT has had real trouble mustering a running game against top-flight competition without LaMarcus Coker, who is still out. I want UT to win, I think they have the athletes for it, I wouldn't be surprised if they did win, and it is at home in Knoxville, but I just can't pick them. They've looked subpar the last couple of weeks, and they couldn't get it done against Florida when it mattered most, so until they prove they can, I have to pick against them...LSU 19, UT 17...in a heartbreaker.
NFL
Baltimore at Cincinnati- Steve McNair has been just plain lucky this season, catching more breaks this season with the Ravens than all his Titans seasons combined. The Ravens' D comes and goes, but their secondary is consistently vulnerable. Carson Palmer is a better QB than McNair, and the Bengals receivers are better top to bottom than the Ravens' secondary. Look for Chad Johnson to be mostly clamped down, but the other receivers should have a big day if Palmer can keep his jersey clean. With the home crowd behind them, the Bengals take control of the AFC North with a hard fought 23-16 win.
Titans at Jaguars- Vince Young is getting better by the week even though his numbers aren't so great. What matters is he has led the team to consecutive victories with a chance for 3 in a row. The Jags are very banged up on D and have a mini-QB controversy as David Garrard starts for a second week in a row. This should be a fun and interesting game, but unless Fred Taylor plays like he did last week or the Titans commit a bunch of turnovers, the Titans should win in a mild upset, 27-21.
Denver vs. Pittsburgh- Denver's D got carved up by Peyton and the Colts last week, but they should rebound nicely against the Steelers struggling offense. Also, the Denver power running game stepped up nicely to provide a compliment to Tatum Bell, so look for more power runs this week. The Pittsburgh D has been playing well enough to win, but the offense keeps them on the field too long by not making enough plays. It's at Heinz Field so it will be close, but the Broncos are just too good to lose to this version of the Steelers. Denver puts a nail in the Steelers playoff coffin, Broncos 30, Steelers 21.
Colts at Patriots- This game in Foxboro is the Week 9 version of the Colts-Broncos showdown for AFC supremacy from last week. I know the Colts won here last year and that Peyton has looked great all season, but after the way the Pats demolished the Vikings on Monday night passing and the way Denver ran the ball down the Colts' throat last week, it's going to be a looooong day for the Indy D. The Pats might rush for 200 yards between Maroney and Dillon, and add that to Tom Brady's pinpoint passing and that leaves Manning on the sidelines most of the game. The Patriots should win here, but it's no surprise if these teams meet again in the playoffs, Patriots win this one and avenge last year's loss at home, Pats 34, Colts 27.
Friday, November 3, 2006
The Ant and the Grasshopper, Democrat Style
Not only a commentary on political persuasion, but about worldview, I got a good laugh out of this...from Spatula City blog, enjoy!
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having ! nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: VOTE
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having ! nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: VOTE
Thursday, November 2, 2006
Iraq Withdrawal Won't End Terrorism
Well, I can't say I am surprised at this in the least. I am very unhappy with the GOP on many fronts, but at least they don't have terrorist leaders in the Middle East urging Americans to vote to keep them in power. What I think is most interesting in this article, aside from their frankness and honesty re: their objectives and dreams, is that the terror leaders interviewed by World Net Daily don't even think Democrats would follow through on their promises to get out of Iraq. I can't imagine which is worse, to be thought of as liars or as abject cowards, but I am sure it sucks to be both...just ask the Democrats. Read the whole thing, and all emphasis is mine.
"In a recent interview with CBS's "60 Minutes," House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, stated, "The jihadists (are) in Iraq. But that doesn't mean we stay there. They'll stay there as long as we're there." Pelosi would become House speaker if the Democrats win the majority of seats in next week's elections.
WorldNetDaily read Pelosi's remarks to the terror leaders, who unanimously rejected her contention an American withdrawal would end the insurgency. Islamic Jihad's Saadi, laughing, stated, "There is no chance that the resistance will stop." He said an American withdrawal from Iraq would "prove the resistance is the most important tool and that this tool works. The victory of the Iraqi revolution will mark an important step in the history of the region and in the attitude regarding the United States."
Jihad Jaara said an American withdrawal would "mark the beginning of the collapse of this tyrant empire (America)." "Therefore, a victory in Iraq would be a greater defeat for America than in Vietnam."
Jaara said vacating Iraq would also "reinforce Palestinian resistance organizations, especially from the moral point of view. But we also learn from these (insurgency) movements militarily. We look and learn from them."
Hamas' Abu Abdullah argued a withdrawal from Iraq would "convince those among the Palestinians who still have doubts in the efficiency of the resistance."
"The victory of the resistance in Iraq would prove once more that when the will and the faith are applied victory is not only a slogan. (Still think we aren't in a clash of religion and civilization, anyone? --Ed.) We saw that in Lebanon (during Israel's confrontation against Hezbollah there in July and August); we saw it in Gaza (after Israel withdrew from the territory last summer) and we will see it everywhere there is occupation," Abdullah said.
While the terror leaders each independently urged American citizens to vote for Democratic candidates, not all believed the Democrats would actually carry out a withdrawal from Iraq.
Saadi stated, "Unfortunately I think those who are speaking about a withdrawal will not do so when they are in power and these promises will remain electoral slogans. It is not enough to withdraw from Iraq. They must withdraw from Afghanistan and from every Arab and Muslim land they occupy or have bases." He called both Democrats and Republicans "agents of the Zionist lobby in the U.S."
Abu Abdullah commented once Democrats are in power "the question is whether such a courageous leadership can [withdraw]. I am afraid that even after the American people will elect those who promise to leave Iraq, the U.S. will not do so. I tell the American people vote for withdrawal. Abandon Israel if you want to save America. Now will this Happen? I do not believe it." Still Jihad Jaara said the alternative is better than Bush's party."
"In a recent interview with CBS's "60 Minutes," House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, stated, "The jihadists (are) in Iraq. But that doesn't mean we stay there. They'll stay there as long as we're there." Pelosi would become House speaker if the Democrats win the majority of seats in next week's elections.
WorldNetDaily read Pelosi's remarks to the terror leaders, who unanimously rejected her contention an American withdrawal would end the insurgency. Islamic Jihad's Saadi, laughing, stated, "There is no chance that the resistance will stop." He said an American withdrawal from Iraq would "prove the resistance is the most important tool and that this tool works. The victory of the Iraqi revolution will mark an important step in the history of the region and in the attitude regarding the United States."
Jihad Jaara said an American withdrawal would "mark the beginning of the collapse of this tyrant empire (America)." "Therefore, a victory in Iraq would be a greater defeat for America than in Vietnam."
Jaara said vacating Iraq would also "reinforce Palestinian resistance organizations, especially from the moral point of view. But we also learn from these (insurgency) movements militarily. We look and learn from them."
Hamas' Abu Abdullah argued a withdrawal from Iraq would "convince those among the Palestinians who still have doubts in the efficiency of the resistance."
"The victory of the resistance in Iraq would prove once more that when the will and the faith are applied victory is not only a slogan. (Still think we aren't in a clash of religion and civilization, anyone? --Ed.) We saw that in Lebanon (during Israel's confrontation against Hezbollah there in July and August); we saw it in Gaza (after Israel withdrew from the territory last summer) and we will see it everywhere there is occupation," Abdullah said.
While the terror leaders each independently urged American citizens to vote for Democratic candidates, not all believed the Democrats would actually carry out a withdrawal from Iraq.
Saadi stated, "Unfortunately I think those who are speaking about a withdrawal will not do so when they are in power and these promises will remain electoral slogans. It is not enough to withdraw from Iraq. They must withdraw from Afghanistan and from every Arab and Muslim land they occupy or have bases." He called both Democrats and Republicans "agents of the Zionist lobby in the U.S."
Abu Abdullah commented once Democrats are in power "the question is whether such a courageous leadership can [withdraw]. I am afraid that even after the American people will elect those who promise to leave Iraq, the U.S. will not do so. I tell the American people vote for withdrawal. Abandon Israel if you want to save America. Now will this Happen? I do not believe it." Still Jihad Jaara said the alternative is better than Bush's party."
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
Nomad Public Defender Gets Another New Court
To recap my job journey since I moved over from Knoxville after law school, I became an Assistant Public Defender in August 2005, and I worked primarily in City Court in Jackson, TN (for all offenses contained within the city limits) until the end of August 2006. Then during September and October, I was the Asst. P.D. for Chester Co. (Henderson), TN, and I was in charge of the misdemeanor court (General Sessions) and all 3 divisions of felony court (Circuit Court) for that county. As of today, I'm now the Asst. P.D. for the General Sessions Court of Madison Co. (located in Jackson, TN, it has original jurisdiction over offenses that occurred within Madison Co. but outside the city limits, and it has concurrent jurisdiction with City Court over offenses that occurred within the city of Jackson). Is your head spinning yet? Good! :)
Anyhow, the change from City Court to Madison Co. Sessions was anticipated, but the couple of months I worked in Chester Co. was a result of some unexpected personnel turnover we had in the office...no big deal, Chester Co. was basically the same job with a bit more responsibility in a different place. At this rate, depending on how long I am a Public Defender here, I may end up having worked cases in every court in this judicial district, lol. It's no big deal really though...by this point I know all the judges and the DAs well enough where I could do just that if I had to...besides, it helps to network, making connections and the occasional friend in the process.
The judge in the court I work in now is very much cool and laid back, as is the District Attorney. My caseload is now about half what it was at my first two jobs. Accordingly, I am able to provide more in-depth attention and assistance to my clients, thereby accomplishing more for them and improving my job satisfaction at the same time. I actually like this court, the people in it, and the pace of the job, which has been a rarity in my legal career to date, but it's certainly a welcome change.
I am gaining valuable professional experience and my financial well-being improves by the day, so I'm certainly not complaining. :)
Anyhow, the change from City Court to Madison Co. Sessions was anticipated, but the couple of months I worked in Chester Co. was a result of some unexpected personnel turnover we had in the office...no big deal, Chester Co. was basically the same job with a bit more responsibility in a different place. At this rate, depending on how long I am a Public Defender here, I may end up having worked cases in every court in this judicial district, lol. It's no big deal really though...by this point I know all the judges and the DAs well enough where I could do just that if I had to...besides, it helps to network, making connections and the occasional friend in the process.
The judge in the court I work in now is very much cool and laid back, as is the District Attorney. My caseload is now about half what it was at my first two jobs. Accordingly, I am able to provide more in-depth attention and assistance to my clients, thereby accomplishing more for them and improving my job satisfaction at the same time. I actually like this court, the people in it, and the pace of the job, which has been a rarity in my legal career to date, but it's certainly a welcome change.
I am gaining valuable professional experience and my financial well-being improves by the day, so I'm certainly not complaining. :)
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